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Stairlift to Heaven: Growing Old Disgracefully
 
 

Stairlift to Heaven: Growing Old Disgracefully [Kindle Edition]

Terry Ravenscroft
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (187 customer reviews)

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Product Description

Product Description

The 2012 Paralympic Games are still six years away but already the sixty-five year old Terry Ravenscroft is putting together a team for the Throwing the Zimmer (Walking) Frame competition - should such an event be included. And when he has time to fit it in, of course. For this is a man who has many other things that fill his waking hours (of which he has more to fill than most people, thanks to the troublesome prostate gland which wakes him up for a pee a least six times every night ).
Stairlift to Heaven, the journal of an old age pensioner, is an irreverent, hilarious look at one man’s life after retirement. Although written by an old age pensioner, non-coffin dodgers should not be put off by this. Everyone will be old someday, and there are valuable lessons in coping with old age to be learned here. Stairlift to Heaven ill advise you on how to cope with the multitude of maladies that accompany advancing years (including the aforementioned prostate gland problem and the countless bladder examinations it brings with it); learn how to cope with increasing forgetfulness; how to become adept at dealing with junk mail; how not to go about capturing a Christmas goose; how to cope with increasing forgetfulness....sorry, I forgot I already mentioned that: discover why you might be well advised to avoid swimming lessons; why you might like to give faith healers the widest of a wide berths; and how to deal with the neighbours from hell. But most of all learn how you can have lots of FUN whilst you’re doing it.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 496 KB
  • Print Length: 216 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Razzamatazz Publications (12 Jan 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0058NXFVU
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (187 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #29,659 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

The day after Terry Ravenscroft threw in his mundane factory job to become a television comedy scriptwriter he was involved in a car accident which left him unable to turn his head. Since then he has never looked back.
Before they took him away he wrote scripts for Les Dawson, The Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise, Alas Smith and Jones, Not the Nine O'Clock News, Ken Dodd, Roy Hudd, and several others. He also wrote the award-winning BBC radio series Star Terk Two. He now writes humorous books, eighteen thus far with no signs of letting up. Three of them, Stairlift to Heaven, Dear Coca-Cola and Dear Air 2000 were in the top ten of the Kindle Best Sellers list at the same time.
Born in New Mills, Derbyshire, England in 1938, he still lives there with his wife Delma and his mistress Divine Bottom (in his dreams).

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just marvellous 2 Aug 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
I'm working my way the the works of Terry Ravenscroft and have just completed this one - not one moment of disappointment is to be found, another hilarious book with some added poignancy amongst the great stories. Now moving onto Captain's Day and a clean pair of pants!
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32 of 33 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely funny book 17 July 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
Another exceptional read from Terry Ravenscroft. I could not put this book down, had me laughing out loud and receiving some odd looks! I have also read Dear Coca Cola and Dear Air 2000 and couldn't stop laughing.... :))
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26 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So Funny! 12 Sep 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
I haven't read anything by Terry Ravencroft before, however I now plan to read everything he's ever written! This man is comedy genius - I laughed so much I couldn't read through the tears! His hints and tips on how to deal with telesales and junk mail made me smile - I deploy similar tactics myself - however the best stories are; paralympic zimmer frame, new year goose and swimming lessons! I would recommend this book to anyone with a sense of humour.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Fact or fiction? 16 Oct 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I'm just not sure about this book. I started off laughing out loud. But then most of the initial humour seemed to disappear. And the author tells us, at the beginning, that the stories are true. Yet in one chapter he tells us he used to swim in the canal and in a following chapter he goes for swimming lessons because he can't swim. We then learn that his friend Atkins has his daily paper delivered in a shredded state. Later we are told about Atkins going for his morning stroll for his daily paper.Mmm.It left me wondering whether the tales were true or the product of a vivid imagination. The book was OK. But that's about all.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars stairlift to heaven 22 Sep 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
i made the mistake of reading this book on a train journey. trying to smother uncontrollable laughter nearly caused a health problem! what a brillint read.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious 12 Aug 2011
By G. Hill
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Great look at retirement through the eyes of the Author. If I was incontinent I would have wet myself laughing.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars chuckled till it hurt.. 21 Sep 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Its a long time since i laughed out loud while reading.
I started reading this book, got to the part about marilyn monroe and nearly wet myself laughing. Got some very strange looks from my wife and was told that my kindle would be taken from me if i didnt stop chuckling.
I ended up having to put the book down because my sides were hurting so much.

A great book to make you forget all your woes and start planning that junk mail assault.

P.S does anyone want to sponser me for the 2012 paralympics zimmer frame throwing event.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars slightly disappointing 1 May 2012
By ElaineG TOP 50 REVIEWER
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I don't know why but I just did not enjoy this book as much as I did Terry's more fictional work. This book takes the form of diary entries made by Terry over a five year period from his 65th birthday to his 70th. Some of the entries are amusing, but not at all highly hilarious as other people have said. He does seem to be angry about so many things, and I found I was reading it in Victor Meldrew's voice (with Margaret Meldrew the voice for Terry's wife, The Trouble).

Its not a book for the PC by any means and I can see that a lot of people might take offence at some of what he writes, and sometimes he can be very cruel, but the warnings are there! Maybe its a hang over from the days of scriptwriting in the 70s, when comedy shows were very unpolitically correct, but what seemed funny then, just doesn't now. Some of the stories seem a bit far fetched so I think Terry may have been a bit more "fictional" here than he would like people to believe. FOr instance, I can't imagine a man of 68 jumping over a 14 foot canal without doing himself a serious injury!

My favourite book of his, so far, is I'm in Heaven which was a wonderful read and unfortunately this book just isn't a patch on that.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars If you are blessed with the slightest touch of cynicism you will enjoy...
To me this was on many occasions a laugh out loud book, so much so that the trouble commented upon it. Read more
Published 2 days ago by Lloydsman
5.0 out of 5 stars Great
A positive gem! Great to dip into when you have a few minutes to spare.
Published 3 days ago by H P Munday
5.0 out of 5 stars A real laugh out louder!
I absolutely loved this book - I lost count of the times I laughed out loud. ...some great ideas I may try myself as well!
Published 4 days ago by Indigo Butterfly
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Useful
Published 9 days ago by A. A. Shahriari
5.0 out of 5 stars loved
hilarious .... the funniest book iv read in ages ...loved it
Published 9 days ago by amanda hodgetts
5.0 out of 5 stars You're never too old to laugh
A thoroughly enjoyable read for those with the experience and wisdom to appreciate his accurate observations on the sometimes seemingly insane aspects of modern society, and some... Read more
Published 18 days ago by Paul Dyer
4.0 out of 5 stars There was a lot to chuckle at but some of the antics with his friend...
I found this book amusing, although I suspect it is more aimed at the 'getting on a bit' male reader. Read more
Published 23 days ago by Shirl
5.0 out of 5 stars I absolutley loved this book
I absolutley loved this book!!! Such a witty and funny outlook of "the golden years". I love the chapter on Space Cake. Read more
Published 24 days ago by Clairemc
1.0 out of 5 stars Stairlift to Heaven
Did not enjoy this book. Did not finish it.
Published 26 days ago by Margaret Stephen
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
very good
Published 28 days ago by suzi
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