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Stags! [Kindle Edition]

Michael Madden
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £6.99
Kindle Price: £1.14 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Book Description

Drinking, Football, Women. A hilarious window into the world of blokes being blokes.

Johnny Reid is getting married, but bride-to-be Samantha is adamant that his stag weekend will not be in Amsterdam, so much so that she has confiscated his passport, but Best Man Pete Platt, who also happens to be Samantha’s brother, has a plan. He procures a passport, organises flights and accommodation, and what follows is a hilarious blow by blow account of the whole episode.

You will meet our hero, Pete, whose thoughts centre around sex, football, and more sex, Johnny, the downtrodden groom to be, and Bird, the larger than life character who adds spice to any situation, as well as many others.

Stags! takes you on a rollercoaster ride through the secret planning, the dramatic moment when Pete reveals the sensational, though probably illegal, plan to Johnny, and the resulting orgy of drugs, prostitution and alcohol fuelled excesses of a stag weekend in Amsterdam. Strictly Over 18s only.


Product Description

About the Author

Michael Madden has worked for many years in the IT industry, as a result of which he has been quoted in publications as prestigious as the New York Times, however, until recently writing has been very much a part time occupation. He published the children’s picture book “Ole And Zac And The Port Of Tumbattle” (FASTPRINT PUBLISHING, 2010), and he has had several articles published in newspapers and magazines. His subject matter is varied, ranging from the growth in Print On Demand publishing, to articles on Olympic hopefuls, and even a preview and review of a performance by rockabilly legend Sleepy Labeef, that included an interview with the singer himself. This is his first venture into adult humorous fiction, and he is determined to make a success of it, despite being told by a number of literary agents and publishers that the market for this genre does not really exist. He has also performed as an after dinner speaker on a number of occasions, as a result of another of his passions, playing amateur cricket. Originally from Sale in Cheshire, Michael now lives with his wife Sally in the more peaceful surroundings of Whaley Bridge, in the Peak District. Michael can be contacted by email: Mikemadden1@gmail.com enquiries@tumbattle.co.uk You can also view his pages at www.authorsden.com and www.tumbattle.co.uk.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Regardless of that, Pete felt as fresh as a daisy the next morning. Fresh enough for a shag, and a good one at that, even if that was only his own opinion. Sometimes you could just tell. City were away, so there were no complications, it would just be another full day in The Queen. Deirdre gave him one of those irritating little errands to do, in this case paying the paper bill, before he reached The Queen, and this meant that he wasn't the first one in. He had sent Johnny a text message to tell him to make his own way there, and when Pete walked through the door the football debate was already in full swing.
Jamie, a regular, but not one of their circle, was praising his beloved Liverpool and their good start to the season. "This is our year. I know it. I can feel it. We're playing some fantastic football."
"You say that every year," Pete joined in, resentful of the fact that Jamie was a resident of Manchester, was born and bred in Manchester, and yet supported Liverpool.
"This year its different," Jamie replied, filled with the confidence that only devoted football fans are able to acquire.
"Look Jamie," Tosh precipitated an end to the debate, "you have a good start every year, but by April you're struggling to stay in the top four. It's just the way of the world. Get used to it."
"I'm telling you, this time its different. We've got a much bigger squad. I'm going to have a bet on it."
"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie," Tosh patronised the Liverpool fan. "Every morning I wake up with a hard on. It doesn't mean I'll get a shag by the end of the day. It's usually gone by dinner time, and that's just the same as Liverpool."

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 583 KB
  • Print Length: 305 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004PLNO8A
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #236,895 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By johnmac
Format:Kindle Edition
Like one of the previous reviewers, Stags is not my genre of choice, but this book was an entertaining read. For many blokes in their 30s, 40s and 50s, there will be more than one story that you can relate to your own or your friends' experiences. You will find yourself laughing out loud and cringing - often at the same time. Well worth a read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Reminds me of top lads' holidays...... 3 May 2011
By Teabags
Format:Paperback
Stumbled across this book by chance, thought I'd give it a go to prepare me for a mate's Stag Do later on in the year! The story moves at a decent pace and unfolds into a genius plot to get the groom to be to Amsterdam despite his over zealous fianceé having confiscated his passport in advance.

The banter between the characters in the book is hilarious and spot on, and brought many a snigger to me. The scrapes and situations that the lads get into are, at times outrageous, but always believeable.

Overall it's an entertaining read and has given me plenty of ideas for future do's - just don't let the Mrs read if you ever intend to get a pass out for a weekend away with the lads again!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A suprisingly good page turner 10 May 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Being a fan of thrillers and crime fiction this is not the sort of genre of book I tend to normally read. However I took a chance on the free Kindle sample and was hooked enough to pay full price to download the whole novel. It really is a page turner. You wouldn't think a story about planning the perfect stag night would be quite so gripping! I recommend that anyone who fancies trying a book that is different to most other books out there to give this a go. I don't think you will be disappointed!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Stags 26 April 2012
By Ashling
Format:Kindle Edition
Now I know what you blokes get up to on Stag do's!!! I enjoyed the book it was a good hearted laugh at the male's perception that the world revolves around pubs, football, women and mostly themselves! I don't usually read this type of book but decided to pick it up when I was on the tail end of a fortnight away. There was plenty of laugh out loud moments and I found myself relating to a lot of the characters and the surroundings. Michael Madden captures the build up, the event and the aftermath very well. An all round good read and good laugh.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What goes on tour........... 10 May 2011
By Fihiggi
Format:Kindle Edition
A hilarious peep into the antics of boys on tour, this happens to be a stag doo and ladies if you ever wondered what they get up to now is your chance to see for yourself that your intuitions were correct.

Full of lol moments that sees probably for the first time the reds and blues of Manchester enjoying what they do best lies, deceit, sexist innuendo- all in good fun.

Girls make sure you keep the tarantulas tucked away and watch out for grandma

An author with great imagination or true life experience !!!!! You decide xx
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb 10 May 2011
Format:Paperback
Stags by Michael Madden was a great read! It brought back memories of a few messy trips I have made to the Dam and to a misspent youth vacating smoky back street pubs and bookies. The sad thing is that the next generation of drinkers won't have the benefit of this type of apprenticeship. I read this book in two days as it was full of laughter and top banter. I found myself in a few similar situations over the years and could laugh out loud at some of the pub dialogue. I loved it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Lads banter at its best 10 May 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
I loved it! It took me back to the days of pub vault culture where your
local was the centre of your universe and drinking, football, women and the
craic went hand in hand. If you look deeper you can picture your own pals
as characters in this book and the author has managed to put in to word the
trials and turbulent times of lads weekends away without it becoming too
predictable. It's a good read with plenty of banter and quality one liners.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read that takes me back...... 16 May 2011
Format:Paperback
I enjoyed this book from the off, it started well and just got better! The author has managed to describe the banter that every bloke loves to have with his mates perfectly. It had a real 'been there, seen that, done that' feel about it and in many parts had me in stitches. I hope there are more books to come as Stags! was a great read. (also, I hope I never meet Bird on any stag do I go on, what a character).
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Good simple read
Published 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars Margie Clarke
I downloaded this for free and I promised myself that I would give all down loads a go.
It started so good but by time they git to the stag do it was all the same thing sex... Read more
Published 11 months ago by C Margetson
2.0 out of 5 stars Not for me
I found the book a little bit too "lad-ish" and could not relate to the characters or the writing style at all.
Published 11 months ago by Glenn Matthews
2.0 out of 5 stars Not all that funny
The reviews made this book sound very humourous and as I have enjoyed funny writers in the past (Tom Sharpe for example), I thought as it was cheap for the Kindle I would give it a... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Nick
1.0 out of 5 stars Boring
I deleted this from my Kindle before getting beyond 30% complete. Dull account of some lads on some stag weekends.
Published 17 months ago by Cerys Upstone
5.0 out of 5 stars Get the facts right
I enjoyed reading this book and the humour regarding football, sex, pubs, sex, and more thoughts of sex. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Ron Jones
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
Really good product. Excellent service and really good delivery. Would definitely recommend this with out a doubt. Get ordering now.
Published 21 months ago by LISA WELFORD
5.0 out of 5 stars Stags
I don't remember getting this, so when I started reading it, I couldn't remember what I had reviewed about this book and boy I was hooked within a few pages and couldn't put this... Read more
Published on 1 April 2013 by Ifza
2.0 out of 5 stars Not for me
This was not as good as I was expecting. The main character was very annoying. I know men like him actually exist but I found him hard to tolerate. Read more
Published on 29 Nov. 2012 by Nics
2.0 out of 5 stars A bit predictable
Basically a long and drawn out story of a load of blokes going on the lash
It's alright and worth a leisurely read but there are no great suprises.
Published on 5 Nov. 2012 by IC
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