Commander Splig and Lt. Dint are two aliens with a mission: to sit on their ass and monitor Earth communications for five years. Their years of boredom and near lunacy come to a horrific end when confronted with a video showing their beloved space navy hero Yablo Dan dissected by human beings, a species they regard as nothing more than advanced amoebas. Despite their orders not to directly interfere with human civilization, Splig and Dint set aside their differences to come up with a plan to hurt the humans. Their target, the small corn town of Friendly, Kansas, will never know what hit them if things go according to plan. Unfortunately, for everyone, it won't.
If you love Harry Harrison, Looney Tunes, or even sniffing glue, Splig and Dint Fuck Friendly might just be the thing for you.
Short Story. 5600 words. Semi graphic depictions of human-alien sex.