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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Enlightening,
This review is from: Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome: Maximizing the Benefits and Minimizing the Drawbacks to Achieve Success (Hardcover)
I bought this book as I suspect my partner has AS and is in the diagnosis process. It is remarkably enlightening and has helped me understand his behaviour and that of his family. I would recommend this book to any adult with AS or any adult who is in a relationship with someone with AS. It offers examples of behaviour and offers up some practical solutions.
21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very useful,
By Book lady "Marylou" (Nottingham, England) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome: Maximizing the Benefits and Minimizing the Drawbacks to Achieve Success (Hardcover)
My 26 year old son has Asperger's and has said that this is very good. Strategies and advice are difficult to come by for the adult Aspie and he has learnt a great deal. Highly recommended by him.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Some good, some not so good,
This review is from: Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome: Maximizing the Benefits and Minimizing the Drawbacks to Achieve Success (Hardcover)
There is undoubtedly a lot of accurate and useful information in this book and as a piece of the puzzle it is not a bad place to start, particularly as there is so little information out there about adults with AS. However, writing as an adult female who has the syndrome, I have to say that I find parts of this book decidedly patronising to people on the spectrum and, like most books written by NTs (neuro-typicals), I find it somewhat biased towards viewing their way of being as 'correct' and our way of being as 'abnormal'. This, more than anything else, is guaranteed to make an Aspie angry and/or deeply upset! We are not broken or inferior, we are just different.
To begin with, I find the case study about Liz and Jenna on pages 63/64 riddled with assumptions. Both Liz and the author (NTs) have jumped to the conclusion that Jenna's behaviour in going to the bathroom is a deliberate delaying tactic to exact revenge on her mother. The bits of the case study where the author talks about discussing things with Jenna seem to me to be a potential example of leading questioning and suggestion - at whose suggestion did they 'talk about the disruption of the family...and...how much time was being devoted to Robert'? I wouldn't mind betting that it wasn't Jenna who started that discussion. Subsequently, despite the fact that Jenna denies being angry, they continue to assume that her behaviour is passive-aggressive and that they are 'right'. In my experience, if an Aspie says they need to go to the bathroom, then what they really mean is that they need to go to the bathroom! Two things to bear in mind here: one is that Aspies tend to be (sometimes brutally) honest and literal - we call a spade a spade - and the other is that we have a lot of nervous energy inside us. Ever needed the bathroom more often before you give a presentation or before you leave to go on holiday? Well, that feeling affects me (and I suspect poor Jenna) all the time, especially if we're about to go somewhere we perceive as being stressful, or more stressful than usual. To give another example, on page 130 of the book, when talking about sensory issues, the author gives the following suggestion: 'If, for example, your skin is extremely sensitive to certain textures, such as wool, look for clothing that is made from some other kind of textile, such as cotton.' I'm afraid that I find this a gross insult to our intelligence. Many Aspies are highly intelligent, degree-educated people; to suggest that we are incapable of working out such a straightforward solution for ourselves is to treat us like idiots - we are not! I also take exception to the section on page 174 about recovery from emotional outbursts, which suggests that Aspies recover much more quickly than NTs. In my experience this depends entirely on what caused the outburst. If it was caused by an inanimate object (such as a misbehaving/slow computer) then yes, we can recover fairly quickly, but if the outburst was caused by a person upsetting us, then I can assure you that an Aspie will still be re-living that incident (vividly and to the letter) in their head for years afterwards - in fact, the chances are, he/she will never forget or completely recover. Just because our voice level returns to normal and we perhaps change the subject does not mean that we are 'over it'. More often than not, if we have changed the subject it is an attempt to reduce our overwhelming stress levels. That said, there are some valid insights here. I particularly like the section on pages 182/3 about AS and compassion (which resonates very strongly), and the parts about feeling overwhelmed/continually anxious/depressed are, sadly, all too familiar. I think the important thing to remember, especially for NTs trying to understand a loved one with the syndrome, is that some of the symptoms described will apply to your loved one and some will definitely not. Do not assume that they have everything in this book - if they are at the high-functioning end of the spectrum and have reached a stage where they can talk about their issues, ask them what is relevant to them and what is not. The only person who can tell you specifically and correctly about what is going on in your Aspie's mind is not a clinician, a doctor or a psychiatrist, but your Aspie!
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