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So Say the Waiters book 1

So Say the Waiters book 1 [Kindle Edition]

Justin Sirois
3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Product Description

Product Description

NOW OPTIONED FOR TV - this free first book is one of three in a series. There is a major cliffhanger at the end of book one.

White-collar Henry is hired by a successful software developer and college friend who has created kidnApp, a cell phone app and social network that allows people to kidnap each other for fun. The app is growing faster than they can handle. His friend wants to groom Henry as the Mid-Atlantic regional manager with part ownership of the company, but he will need to become a seasoned kidnApper first. The problem is, Henry is stuck in his conservative job, suffering from post-fiancée breakup depression, and he definitely sucks at kidnApping. But this is an opportunity he cannot refuse.

Danielle (Dani) Hardly is an aimless bartender at a rundown nightclub. She is barely scraping by, but she is one of the first users of kidnApp in Baltimore. She uses the app as an escape from the increasingly difficult world around her, often time pushing the limits of the experience. During a botched kidnApping, she is rescued by newly recruited Henry – someone she has nothing in common with until Henry opens up to her about his less than mediocre kidnapping skills.

The last thing Dani expects is to start collaborating with Henry who needs all the help he can get. Throughout the series, Henry ties to balance his normal life and job while kidnApping on the side. Dani's world will be turned up-side-down by the hidden forces behind the app and the people wrapped up in its world.


"So Say the Waiters is dope. It renders the Baltimore scene lovingly, from the ground, while tapping into that contemporary human need to escape through the shifting space where technology and dreams collide. A cyberpunk novel for a corporatized generation."

Matthew Porterfield
director of Putty Hill, I Used to be Darker, and Hamilton


"So Say the Waiters could easily be the next Repo Man."

The Baltimore Chop


The feel [of So Say the Waiters] is like Chuck Pahlaniuck, but good. It's fast paced, focused on characters, and gives you twists and turns you can't possibly predict.

Bryan L. Young
author of Lost at the Con, regular contributor for the Huffington Post

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1157 KB
  • Print Length: 298 pages
  • Publisher: Severed Books (13 Jan 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S. r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00A6RGFK6
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #557,931 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Not a bad idea 29 Dec 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
Poor Henry, suffering from all the effects of the breakup of a long term relationship. He has lost a lot of weight, is going through a lot of soul-searching, he misses his ex and desperately wants her to take him back. He sends her text messages with "I miss you" tacked onto the end and then he mentally punishes himself afterwards for doing it. He seems lost, emotionally exhausted and looking for some new distractions in life. He is then, so utterly not the quintessential hero. He's a protagonist that most of us can relate to even if we don't actually like him as a character.

Then we have Dani - a tattooed waitress who has become obsessed with KidnApp - a downloadable app for your mobile device that permits you to organise your own kidnapping. You can customise everything from the length of the missing period, to the nature of the kidnappers (do you want them rough or gentle). It is a great idea for our time, so consumed as we are with mundane lives, KidnApp allows you to inject a little bit of excitement into your daily routine. Dani plays in a band and works in a bar, she loves her bike and naturally doesn't really have much going on in her life until the day she decided to organise her own kidnap.

Back to Henry, and he is presented with a proposition by an old friend and flies across the country (from Baltimore to LA) to hear what he has on offer. It turns out that the old friend owns the KidnApp company and he is offering Henry a new job, a new lease of life, a new start. Henry though is bemused because he can't really understand why anybody would even want to be kidnapped. Nevertheless, he takes the opportunity the new job is giving him - perfectly legal of course and he has a job on his first night.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.4 out of 5 stars  140 reviews
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Okay characters, pretty good plot, FABULOUS idea 24 Sep 2013
By price_hound - Published on
This is one of those books that I picked up on idea alone. The characters sounded okay, the plot seemed pretty meh, but a KidnApp that lets people get kidnapped for fun? Fantastic! Even before I started the book, it got my imagination running.

Henry was a different kind of character than I usually read. He wasn't kick-butt or even mentally resilient. He was a computer programmer dealing with the emotional (and financial) aftermath of a bad breakup. I didn't really enjoy him, but I found him interesting, at least.

Dani was the exact opposite of Henry - a tattooed twenty-something bartender living on tips and playing keyboard in a little local band. She was exactly the kind of character I would expect to find in this book, only I would have expected her to be a kidnapper.

This book did not read like a traditional novel. There was no easily-identified climax or major disasters, and the ending felt more like the end of a chapter than the end of a novel. (It might have been more structured within the individual "episodes" - I wasn't paying attention to where one stopped and the next began.) But I enjoyed the story, figuring out the details of kidnApp, and trying to understand how Henry and Dani's plots fit together. Justin Sirois was brilliant at bringing together random plotlines into a great story.

The very, very best part about SO SAY THE WAITERS was the idea. An app for people who want to be kidnapped for fun - awesome! "Waiters" who want to be kidnapped can specify how long they want to be taken, how rough their "Taker" can be, even little stuff like if they want a bag over their head or just a blindfold. I want to be kidnapped. And then I want to kidnap people. I don't even know if this would be legal, but it would be fun!

My only problem with this book was that it was an adult book. There was language (most of it mild) and sexual references - nothing explicit, but enough that I could suspect what's going on. It wasn't over-the-top or enough to make me stop reading, but I didn't like it.

This is a different sort of book than I usually read. Very different. But I enjoyed it. I would definitely be interested in the Installment? Episodes? Whatever it's called, I want to read it. Because after Dani's and Henry's plots intersected in the end of this book, I seriously need to know what happens next.

I received a free review copy of SO SAY THE WAITERS Episodes 1-5 from the author. His generosity in no way influenced, or sought to influence, this review.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a wild ride. 2 Nov 2012
By Adam Robinson - Published on
Once again Justin Sirois presents a fast-paced, character driven novel that, once you start, is as inescapable as a holding cell. So Say the Waiters is filled with the people you used to work with and the people you might date someday, but no one will ever be in the predicaments Sirois dreams up for the people in this bright-idea of a book. I was hooked from the start.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sometimes the unexpected can be strange and familiar at once 16 April 2013
By Alix Tobey Southwick - Published on
I was naturally expecting a well written and engaging read from SO SAY THE WAITERS, because I had read Sirois' brilliant FALCONS ON THE FLOOR. I was not expecting to learn so much about a strange app that allows you to be taken out of your familiar world, and the types of people who take you. Books are like this KidnApp, authors are like Takers. Me, I'm just a Waiter, waiting in giddy suspense for my next adventure, craving the excitement that I know will come when I am kidnApped by the second volume of SO SAY THE WAITERS. If you haven't read this book, read it right now. It will captivate you and hold your mind prisoner long after you finish it.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So Say the Readers 6 Aug 2013
By Shirley J. Brewer - Published on
Deft, not deaf! Author Justin Sirois hears well. Very well. His acuity pays off in So Say the Waiters, original and entertaining fiction with realistic dialogue befitting its creator's talented ear. Sirois deftly moves this Baltimore-based story along. And what a story. The Waiters of the title are not restaurant employees, but everyday people who have submitted their fantasy requests to kidnApp, and then wait for their Takers, who make a pretty dang good living, despite unforeseen challenges. After the first few chapters, I made the decision to upgrade my phone ASAP.
I am a poet who reads fiction for fun. I appreciate immediate engagement. So Say the Waiters - a modern urban adventure - drew me in from the onset, and kept me reading in spite of other commitments. I love it when a book does that. Humor and heartbreak, suspense and serendipity make this story a recipe for success. Justin Sirois skillfully concocts a gourmet literary treat. So Say the Waiters will satisfy your fiction hunger, and leave you craving the next Where do I sign up? I'm thinking 4 hours with Liam Neeson. No handcuffs, please. I'm ready to be Taken. Even willing to be a Waiter, for 48 hours or less.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cool as a cucumber 3 Oct 2013
By DP Metcalfe - Published on
Sirois has me by the short and curlies with his dark, twisted, fast-paced and funny series. So Say the Waiters is massively entertaining and not too far-fetched to get us thinking about the very near future of our interactions through technology. I just picked up Volume 2 and I can't wait to see what happens next.
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