A short while ago I purchased myself a blow up lady doll, here she is http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blow-Up-Lady-5-high/dp/B002VRT2MM/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t
Now, don't get me wrong Samantha is very nice and has even accompanied me to a couple of social gatherings. Now, without wanting to sound vulgar she lacked the 'goods' for our relationship to properly satisfy me. I'll admit I didn't treat her brilliantly, I put her in the spare room, she complained more and more about my lack of attention, not wanting her to do anything silly like deflate herself, I bought her a companion.
This is where Blow-Up-Doll-Male,Peter,comes in, I have invited this chap into my home and he has made my life a misery. Peter and Samantha get on famously, which is fantastic and I was so pleased that she had a friend.
Then, one night I was sat in bed wondering where it had all gone wrong when I heard a squeaking sound, I got up to investigate, Peter and Samantha were scissoring away as if their lives depended on it.
This has continued all day every day for the last three weeks, the constant sound of rubber on rubber accompanied with the burning smell has lead me to moving out and back in with my mother.
Well done Peter, you win.
@bertnews