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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman [Kindle Edition]

Ian Kerner
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £14.99
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Product Description


"A sex manual that places the female orgasm centre-stage... the definitive
cunnilingus manifesto." -- 'The Independent'

"Bigger, better, longer orgasms guaranteed." -- 'More'

"If you've money to spend... buy the book She Comes First... to help you be
a better lover." -- Deidre Sanders, 'The Sun'

"15 Ways Men Have Got Better... They're more attentive in bed.
Thanks to Ian Kerner." -- 'Glamour'

Readable and friendly, and resolutely women-centric… just the sort of talking point we need to get us started. -- 'The Guardian'

Product Description

“Every man’s must-read. Tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up She Comes First.”


Ian Kerner offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women in She Comes First—an essential guidebook to oral sex from the author of Be Honest—You’re Not That Into Him Either. The New York Times praises Kerner’s “cool sense of humor and an obsessive desire to inform,” as he “encourages men through an act that many find mystifying.” An indispensable aid to a healthier, more fulfilling sex life for her and him, She Comes First offers techniques and philosophy that have already earned raves from the likes of bestselling author and Loveline co-host Dr. Drew Pinsky as well as Playgirl magazine, which cheers, “Hallelujah!”

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 633 KB
  • Print Length: 240 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins e-books; 1 Reprint edition (13 Oct 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000FC1PRK
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #5,678 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Ian Kerner is a sex and relationships counsellor. His interest in counselling developed from his personal problems with sexual dysfunction and he holds a degree from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists. He is one of the world's bestselling sex advisors, is a columnist for a range of magazines and newspapers and is a frequent guest on American television. He lives in New York.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
123 of 133 people found the following review helpful
When I asked my new boyfriend to go down on me, he said he'd tried it once but didn't like it because he "wasn't very good at it". He begrudgingly agreed to give it a go next time, which wasn't exactly a great turn on!

So I went to Hoxton's women only sex shop Sh! & asked what they recommended to help my boyfrienf find his inner passion for cunnilingus, so we could enjoy it together. The shop assistant recommended this book, together with some flavoured lubricant (she said could this help him to overcome any initial reticence to get stuck in - the flavour wears off of course, leaving the man basking in the woman's natural scent & taste, by which time hopefully he'll enjoy it).

I read the book first, to see what information my boyfriend would be primed with and ... well, it's not perfect.

For a start, the diagrams are a little hard to understand: they would be infinitely better in colour, & should also show the woman's genitalia both before & during arousal, & should compare them with male genialia, so that readers really get it into our heads that male & female genitalia are very similar, just positioned differently, & that women have erections too!

I think it is this anatomical knowledge that will help guys understand why they need to do certain things: women need exactly the same stimulation as men, maybe more, but our bits are arranged differently, which is why penetration alone will not work for many of us.

Anyhow, after squinting at the diagrams, I figure they are a pretty good start at least in giving guys a rough idea of where to aim for, & why (but can you name the missing erogenous zone ...?).

However, I also felt the text was a bit dense in places: it might put some guys off that it's so detailed.
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38 of 41 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow! 16 Nov 2009
By Wormy
This is the first review I have written, on any subject, ever, so obviously the book stirred desire in me enough to share my thoughts with any others on the path to greater sexual pleasure.
My partner brought the book last year, completly of his own accord. I had never complained about his cunnilingal skills, but he obviously felt he could improve, and my oh my he did! I thought I had climaxed through oral stimulation before but after he practised the moves learnt from this book he gave me the most mind blowing and earth shattering O's I have ever had. The confidence this has now given him knowing he has the power to turn me into quivering, heavenly mush is such a turn on for both of us and has improved our sexual relationship tenfold. I have not read the book but it is a must for any unselfish men who understand that women need a little more attention in that department and would like to see the look of complete sexual satisfaction on their partners face - also for any women who feel their partner needs a little help in this department, this is a must buy. No better Christmas present!!
There is one warning tho, to the girls - your partner learning these skills may turn you into an obsessed nymphomaniac, as you will never get enough!!!
She comes first..... And He comes a very happy second :)
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book far the considerate man 17 Jan 2011
This book is fantastic. I got it years ago when I first started dating my current girlfriend as she said she'd never had an orgasm off oral. While my own technique was ok, or so I'd been told in the past, I'd never really enjoyed it and I wanted to blow her mind. After reading it comprehensively I pampered her for a full evening and then decided to try out the techniques. The reaction was phenomenal!

Since then I never miss an opportunity to please her with my tongue and fingers, I've lent the book to nearly all my male friends and got quite a lot of thanks of their partners a few weeks later. I would recommend this book to anyone who classes pleasing their partner higher than their own selfish desires.
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95 of 114 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of my favourite books 11 Jun 2007
I like to reread this book because it was eye-opening and very valuable for me. I didn't know that the female intimate zone consists of so many different parts and is extremely sensitive due to a huge number of nerve endings. I am happy that so knowledgeable expert describes step-by-step which part after which part to stimulate in order to lead your lady to orgasm. I feel a lot more comfortable when it comes to orally pleasing my wife after I read this book. She doesn't have to be that involved now because I simply follow the clear and very detailed instructions and she literary melts in front of my eyes. I agree that she comes first and yet guys do pamper yourself as well with the secrets from "scientfically guaranteed male multiple orgasms and ultimate sex". My experience shows that when both partners have mind blowing time in bed spontaneity, libido and passion increase with each love making. I believe that every caring for his sexual education, performance and lady man should read she comes first. It is one of the few that contains exclusive and very valuable information that will make a great difference for your girl and your confidence.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Oh yeah baby. 3 Jan 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I got this book as a gift for my wife. As in the gift is what I will be able to do after I've read it! She assures me that I wasn't bad before but she certainly likes the improvement! Well written, very straight forward and very open and honest. Not sure I'd tell the world about any sexual dysfunction I might suffer from! But, good on him for doing so.
To be serious for one second, I used to be a secondary school teacher and one of my responsibilities was the sex education program. Although it would obviously be very controversial I think this book should be made available to students (6th form only!) As it contains a lot of information about the man's role in sex being more than just stick your willy in and hope for the best!! Quite frankly it might even lead to a drop in teenage pregnancy.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Book
very good book ..Im pleased I downloaded it ...
Published 2 days ago by LLoyds debit card
4.0 out of 5 stars A very good book that helps you to please your partner and ...
A very good book that helps you to please your partner and gain a better understanding of women. The technical aspects of the book provide clarity for the practical parts of it. Read more
Published 16 days ago by Devron
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
good read
Published 24 days ago by Mr. K. Hawkesley
4.0 out of 5 stars Well worth the money.
A good product that has plenty of tips and tricks and a cheat sheet in the back.
Published 1 month ago by Shaun
1.0 out of 5 stars useless
Published 3 months ago by sonia castro creo
2.0 out of 5 stars Meh
Mostly blindingly obvious, seems very mechanical, and unless you've got a tiny mouth and tongue and she's got a much larger ahem you can't do a lot of it!
Published 6 months ago by Revmarc
4.0 out of 5 stars A good starting point
Kerner provides a good initial starting point for appreciating the varying pleasure points of the female anatomy, which is why I've given this 4stars. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Chris Nice
5.0 out of 5 stars Brownie points have never been so easy to get!
Every man should own this book, every woman should buy their man this book! You will not regret it. Orgasmically good!
Published 9 months ago by A Greenwood
5.0 out of 5 stars Informative
Just an excellent guide for men towards women. Put's you ahead of the male competition!! Great read and excellent diagrams,
Published 10 months ago by Samuel M McCosh
5.0 out of 5 stars An erotic self help book....
Knowledgeable, helpful, and a different angle on intimate sexual relationships. It'll work or it wont, but it's a learning curve never-the-less. Take it as fun.
Published 14 months ago by L. Savage
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