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Review
"Should be required reading for policy makers and new parents alike"--Time Out
"This is a polemical book... is gripping enough to read through the night. It left me fired up with reformist zeal"--The Mail on Sunday
"I was utterly gripped. This is powerful stuff. Rebecca Asher's take of the culture of parenting is radical, original and refreshingly spirited, a heartfelt call for change"--The Daily Telegraph
"An intelligent, thoroughly researched and highly readable contribution to a debate that urgently needs to be aired in the corridors of power, as well as through gritted teeth over snatched cups of bitter coffee in baby and toddler groups"--The Sunday Herald
"Asher wants a revolution, and her conviction is invigorating... there is a great deal to be said for [her] model, and it deserves to be discussed and debated widely"--The Guardian
"Excellent and readable"--The Economist
"This is a polemical book... is gripping enough to read through the night. It left me fired up with reformist zeal"--The Mail on Sunday
"I was utterly gripped. This is powerful stuff. Rebecca Asher's take of the culture of parenting is radical, original and refreshingly spirited, a heartfelt call for change"--The Daily Telegraph
"An intelligent, thoroughly researched and highly readable contribution to a debate that urgently needs to be aired in the corridors of power, as well as through gritted teeth over snatched cups of bitter coffee in baby and toddler groups"--The Sunday Herald
"Asher wants a revolution, and her conviction is invigorating... there is a great deal to be said for [her] model, and it deserves to be discussed and debated widely"--The Guardian
"Excellent and readable"--The Economist
Book Description
A manifesto for achieving a new equality between the sexes in family life, drawing on international research and case studies.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I loved this book (and stayed up late into the night reading it)!
Having read a couple of reviews, I expected it to be fairly insightful but what surprised me was how readable it was. Actually, it was pretty funny in parts and I loved the bits where the author explains her own conflicted feelings and experiences. It helped me make sense of the disconnect between my expectations as a proffessional woman and my experience as a new mother. As a thirty-something, my own mother's generation fought to ensure I had choices beyond her own horizons and I worked bloody hard to reach a level in my profession where I could realise my own ambitions before starting a family (which proffession, incidentally, is legal so I knew my rights and shouldn't be worried about telling my boss I wanted 12 months maternity leave, right? Ha!). So, this book really resonated with my personal experience.
I was interested, on a proffessional and personal level, in how other countries handle these issues (how come our German and Scandinavian neighbours always seem to have a more balanced perspective on these things than us Brits?) and there were lots of really useful comparisons with other European countries. It wasn't just the bald facts and figures or legal rights (interesting though this was); the author recorded the personal experiences of various mothers and fathers in her case studies. Actually, that was one of things that I really liked about the book; it wasn't some "woe is me" female diatribe but very balanced; she considered the male perspective and experience just as much as the female one (so much so that my husband is now reading this book!).
I don't know whether to be depressed by the book's compelling argument that inequality is alive and well (to the detriment of men as well as women) or encouraged by the fact that there are writers out there who are not afraid to confront this issue with wit and refreshing honesty.
Having read a couple of reviews, I expected it to be fairly insightful but what surprised me was how readable it was. Actually, it was pretty funny in parts and I loved the bits where the author explains her own conflicted feelings and experiences. It helped me make sense of the disconnect between my expectations as a proffessional woman and my experience as a new mother. As a thirty-something, my own mother's generation fought to ensure I had choices beyond her own horizons and I worked bloody hard to reach a level in my profession where I could realise my own ambitions before starting a family (which proffession, incidentally, is legal so I knew my rights and shouldn't be worried about telling my boss I wanted 12 months maternity leave, right? Ha!). So, this book really resonated with my personal experience.
I was interested, on a proffessional and personal level, in how other countries handle these issues (how come our German and Scandinavian neighbours always seem to have a more balanced perspective on these things than us Brits?) and there were lots of really useful comparisons with other European countries. It wasn't just the bald facts and figures or legal rights (interesting though this was); the author recorded the personal experiences of various mothers and fathers in her case studies. Actually, that was one of things that I really liked about the book; it wasn't some "woe is me" female diatribe but very balanced; she considered the male perspective and experience just as much as the female one (so much so that my husband is now reading this book!).
I don't know whether to be depressed by the book's compelling argument that inequality is alive and well (to the detriment of men as well as women) or encouraged by the fact that there are writers out there who are not afraid to confront this issue with wit and refreshing honesty.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Shattered is non-fiction at its best, well researched and well referenced but humanised by first-hand accounts and enlivened by Asher's very convincing argument that the division of parenting in the UK leaves a lot to be desired. Asher's premise is that in the UK the vast majority of day to day parenting is still left to women and that, as a result, mothers tend to become marginalised in the work place while fathers are sidelined at home and children short-changed.
In the UK girls outperform boys at school and enter the workforce with an expectation that they can get as far as men. Following the birth of their first child however a huge number of women find, if they return to work at all, that their careers have to adapt to fit around childcare and household management. In contrast, few fathers in the UK change their working patterns in any significant way. On the contrary, if anything, they often increase their effort at work to provide for their families. This, argues Asher, is a situation implicitly supported by government and employer attitudes from the moment a woman becomes pregnant.
While maternity leave in the UK has become more generous over recent years, paternity leave and paternity pay remain laughably inadequate. As dads are forced back to work, it is the mother who gets to really understand the child and who typically becomes more expert at addressing its needs. When maternity leave ends it then seems natural to many families that it is the mother who considers reducing her hours or stopping work altogether. Asher acknowledges that this suits some women but argues that the impact for many and for society as a whole is strongly disadvantageous, reducing financial independence and the opportunities for self expression and professional fulfilment. Even where women continue to work full time, they often continue to bear primary responsibility for childcare and home management.
From April this year, paternity leave rights have been extended in the UK but Asher is pessimistic that the policy change will have much effect without better remuneration of parental leave and stronger incentives for men to take time off work. The book explores parental leave and employment policy across Europe and the US and makes recommendations for improving the situation in which we find ourselves here in the UK.
Asher is critical of the media, advertisers and the huge industry that peddles parenting advice and equipment to families in the UK. Advertising reinforces the idea that it is mothers who are the primary carers of children while the media fetishises parenting and demonises mothers. Mothers themselves are not let off the hook entirely by this book. I winced as Asher pointed out how quick we can be to hover over our partners' attempts to get involved with parenting and housework, intervening when things aren't done exactly as we want.
I was utterly convinced by this book's case that both women and men are being short changed by current practice. It has inspired me to look again at the expectations I have of my own partners' involvement at home and my own hours at work. I have urged all my friends to read it and I hope somewhere out there policy makers are reading it too.
In the UK girls outperform boys at school and enter the workforce with an expectation that they can get as far as men. Following the birth of their first child however a huge number of women find, if they return to work at all, that their careers have to adapt to fit around childcare and household management. In contrast, few fathers in the UK change their working patterns in any significant way. On the contrary, if anything, they often increase their effort at work to provide for their families. This, argues Asher, is a situation implicitly supported by government and employer attitudes from the moment a woman becomes pregnant.
While maternity leave in the UK has become more generous over recent years, paternity leave and paternity pay remain laughably inadequate. As dads are forced back to work, it is the mother who gets to really understand the child and who typically becomes more expert at addressing its needs. When maternity leave ends it then seems natural to many families that it is the mother who considers reducing her hours or stopping work altogether. Asher acknowledges that this suits some women but argues that the impact for many and for society as a whole is strongly disadvantageous, reducing financial independence and the opportunities for self expression and professional fulfilment. Even where women continue to work full time, they often continue to bear primary responsibility for childcare and home management.
From April this year, paternity leave rights have been extended in the UK but Asher is pessimistic that the policy change will have much effect without better remuneration of parental leave and stronger incentives for men to take time off work. The book explores parental leave and employment policy across Europe and the US and makes recommendations for improving the situation in which we find ourselves here in the UK.
Asher is critical of the media, advertisers and the huge industry that peddles parenting advice and equipment to families in the UK. Advertising reinforces the idea that it is mothers who are the primary carers of children while the media fetishises parenting and demonises mothers. Mothers themselves are not let off the hook entirely by this book. I winced as Asher pointed out how quick we can be to hover over our partners' attempts to get involved with parenting and housework, intervening when things aren't done exactly as we want.
I was utterly convinced by this book's case that both women and men are being short changed by current practice. It has inspired me to look again at the expectations I have of my own partners' involvement at home and my own hours at work. I have urged all my friends to read it and I hope somewhere out there policy makers are reading it too.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I loved this book! I just couldn't put it down. At first I thought "every mother should read this!" but as I read on, I thought "every father should read this too!" Inequality that impacts mainly on mothers in the workplace divides fathers from their children at home. RA shows how everyone (including the children) lose out - women because their careers suffer; men because they spend less time with their children. The first hand accounts and interviews underline her points and illustrate how difficult it can be for parents to balance their lives.
Ultimately this is an inspiring book. Having painted rather a gloomy picture (in an authoritative and interesting way), the author shows how there could be a dramatic turnaround in Britain today. Citing examples from other countries, and looking closely at attitudes to parenting in Britain, she shows that change is possible. This book points the way to the logical next step for equality in this country - we've looked at the workplace, but equality begins at home.
Ultimately this is an inspiring book. Having painted rather a gloomy picture (in an authoritative and interesting way), the author shows how there could be a dramatic turnaround in Britain today. Citing examples from other countries, and looking closely at attitudes to parenting in Britain, she shows that change is possible. This book points the way to the logical next step for equality in this country - we've looked at the workplace, but equality begins at home.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Helps you understand societal pressure so you can forge a different...
You have to read `Shattered'. It's a fantastic examination of unequal parenting in the UK. This book arms you with knowledge about all the subtle (eg Royal College of Midwives)... Read more
Published 1 month ago by katekindleaddict
excellent book
Every woman should read this book and then share it with her partner/father/brother/son. There is lots of food for thought and a rainbow of real life example stories. Read more
Published 3 months ago by MarinellaB
Changed the way my partner and I do things
Very motivating book, albeit a bit ranting at times. It is really well researched, at the same time as it was quite emotional as I recognised myself so well. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Liv
You are not alone...
This book is a joy to read. It won't necessarily sort out some of your worries about returning to work, being back at work or even staying at home after maternity leave - but it... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Mots
Essential reading for all new parents!
Since having my first child five years ago, the most frequent topic of conversation with other new mums has been the disparity between our own roles and those of our partners. Read more
Published 11 months ago by London Mum
A must read!
This is a must read - whether you're contemplating starting a family or already raising one, a mum or a dad. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Mother2011
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