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Synopsis
Argues that shame and guilt are the main causes of dysfunctional families, describes the characteristics of adults shamed in childhood, and offers advice on developing feelings of self-worth.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
An amazing book that touches at the very core of the feeling of shame. If you feel there is something fundamentally wrong with you, or feel you're hiding awful secrets inside you - read this book! Shame lies at the very heart of so many problems; this book is a great start towards healing that shame.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book looks at dysfunction in families by exploring the effects of shame and guilt. I like the idea of using fairy tales to show that in shame and guilt ridden families kids are expected to be perfect and live up to unrealistic expectations, and that instead of forming real and honest relationships with adults who accept them as they are, they find they have to join the family game and deny their true selves and take responsibility for the pain and shame of their parents. A lot of it does make sense. However the book is depressing. The author spends 5 chapters and 102 pages explaining how kids and adults from these families are affected by guilt and shame, which is miserably accurate, and only 1 chapter and 3 pages concluding that "there is no magic wand" and a few small paragraphs on sharing pain with other people to get past the shame and guilt people often hide and feel trapped by. I felt like I'd been led into a dark dungeon and left there! I got the impression that the author had made some recovery from a painful shameful past but seemed unwilling to share more than a couple of sentences on this. Personally I felt the book was out of balance. A very long book about everything that can go wrong with barely any advice on how to put things right in the future. Hopeless. I was glad when I finished reading it and felt the need to find another book to cheer myself up!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Written in the style of a fairy tale (with the aim of speaking to the inner child) Shame and Guilt gets to the root cause of the negative, self loathing feelings that so many survivors of emotional abuse feel. It is particularly useful for those brought up by narcissistic parents. It isn't a very large book and if you have read the more meaty variety might find this a little too thin on the ground in some areas but it does bring home some startling facts d that help you to see you were the innocent victim in a world where narcissistic parents sought their own self perfection through their children.
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