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Sex, Love and Violence: Strategies for Transformation Paperback – 24 Oct 1990


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Sex, Love and Violence: Strategies for Transformation + The Violence of Men: New Techniques for Working with Abusive Families: A Therapy of Social Action (Jossey-Bass Social and Behavioral Sciences) + The Secret Meaning of Money: How to Prevent Financial Problems from Destroying Our Most Intimate Relationships: How to Prevent Financial Affairs from Destroying Our Most Intimate Relationships
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Product details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (24 Oct. 1990)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0393700968
  • ISBN-13: 978-0393700961
  • Product Dimensions: 1.6 x 0.2 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 73,244 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Review

"Cloe Madanes has ventured into the complex arena of working with families where there is violence and sexual abuse. She has developed with elegant simplicity a set of guidelines for helping these families heal. Her work embraces the spiritual dimension that must be a part of the healing process in these families." -- Carrell A. Dammann, Ph.D.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a handbook written for other therapists, and from the point of view of a particular type of therapy, which as far as I can see is called 'strategic therapy.' I got it because I hadn't seen any other books dealing with violence in relationships. It is really about the use of power in relationships, so deals with the whole gamut of family dysfunction. I felt the 'strategies' were useful and I did arrive at some insights- but there was something a bit superficial about it that left me wishing for more.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 3 reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Transformative! 21 Jun. 2013
By groover - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Many years ago -like 1990 or so, I actually went to a workshop with Madanes specifically on this book. My career was heavily loaded with children traumatized by adults, siblings, family members, and I was always looking for cutting edge ideas. So,I have read the book,directly heard the intentions and methods of the author, and used her framework many times as a family therapist. It is a carefully prepared framework designed to create a carefully aimed experience that has brought incredible healing time and time again in my experience. There are many therapy books people can read and easily dismiss or gloss over the true intentions of the author. I experienced her true intentions as deeply thoughtful, loving towards all parties,and allowing true forgiveness and restoration of all the lives involved. Frankly, using this framework has produced some of the most moving transformations and clarity for families I have ever experienced in 30 years of practice. I hope people will learn more about Madanes and this book in particular, as it is one of the most powerful interventions imaginable from one of the worlds greatest.
12 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Pioneering Work 17 Nov. 2008
By Margaret W. Jones, Ph.D. - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Several years ago I attended a seminar at Boston University's School of Social Work. Cloe Madanes work with young sexual offenders was cutting edge. It not only inspired me professionally but, as an abuse survivor, it touched me. When the mother on the video said that no one had ever apologized to her when she had been abused, I choked back my tears. No one had ever told me they were sorry, either.
I shared my experience with the people closest to me and eventually included it in Not My Making: Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Churches. I finally got around to reading Madanes book this past week.
Madanes has done pioneering work with young sex offenders. I think she correctly approaches abusive behavior from a moral perspective. It isn't just that sexual offenders cannot control their sexual impulses rather that they don't want to. It is a failure of moral development and conscience. Perpetrators do not empathize with their victims and do not recognize their moral obligations to care for and protect individuals weaker themselves.
I was surprise that Madanes did not appear to recognize the importance of religious faith. She refers to religion as decadent and implied it was a counter force to therapy. Given her own therapeutic approach I had expected her to recognize that religion was the source of her own morality and that without it humankind would devolve into primitive and amoral behavior.
Despite her negative comments about religion Madanes' conceptual framework for family interactions are useful. I will certainly apply it in my own work. The core of the book contains clinical vignettes which are an invaluable reference for psychotherapeutic work.
3 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Outdated and will hurt more than heal 21 Nov. 2012
By Red - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
This book does more hurt than anything in a therapy session for a family (with someone being the offender of abuse and the other being a victim). This book was published in 1990, and since then there have been NUMERIOUS studies shown that both the victim AND the offender need help. The victim is not always just the victim. The offender does not need to be FORCED to ask for forgiveness (this is NOT how forgiveness works, true remorse must come first). I read this book for a class I am taking (to be licensed as a marriage and family therapist) and this is completely contradictory to the code of ethics that all therapist sign! Frankly, reading this book made me sick and disgusted by this author. Oh the poor families that have been affected by this program! Do yourself (and all families) a favor. Do not buy this book. It is worth less than dirt.
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