The Secret Life of France [Paperback]

 

 

Create your own review

Like many others I'm sure, I have a secret fantasy about moving to France based on my many holidays to that country over the years. Having read this book though, I'm not so sure that this is a very good idea! Starting with her courtship and marriage to a Frenchman in the 1980s, through to the present, divorced, but still living in France, Lucy Wadham explains some of the differences between our "Anglo-Saxon Culture" and the French way of looking at the world. The areas are wide-ranging, from sexual manners, the importance of appearance, attitudes to breast-feeding, the French school system, French healthcare, social system, politics, foreign policy, and more.
It's a more serious book than I was perhaps expecting, certainly with some humour, but also with a lot detailed discussion of history, politics and France's relationship with her ethnic minorities, and her response to terrorism. Certainly, it will give you some insight into the correct tone to adopt towards your boulanger, but it also deals with other more weighty issues than this.
If I have a criticism it is perhaps that this book doesn't quite catch the diversity of France, based very much on what Wadham experienced in her own circle. For example, she does touch on French rural life, but a more in-depth analysis of the differences between the city-dwellers and the proudly titled French "peasants" is beyond the scope of this book, perhaps understandably, but it is a shame nonetheless.
Definitely worth reading if you love France but find the French rather enigmatic as some light will be shed on the mysterious ways of our Gallic neighbour!

That was the question that faced Lucy Lemoine (nee Wadham unless that is just a nom de guerre) when she ended her 20-year marriage to a Frenchman. She had to decide whether it was nobler in the mind to suffer the talk and habits of outrageous Frenchmen or to pull up stumps and cross the sea to England, and maybe find that better. She had actually once gone along to apply for French citizenship, and had been so appalled by the rudeness of the civil servant she encountered that she changed her mind on the spot. However when it came to the later decision she elected to stay in France after all, although significantly not in Paris.

Myself, I have been to France ten or eleven times, including my honeymoon in Corsica, but reading this book makes me think I probably know the place better from television and maybe a few films than from my stays there. Nothing Lucy Wadham says about France or the French surprises me, and although my knowledge of it all seems somehow second-hand I think I can understand to a fair extent what she is talking about. She starts her narration where she ought to start it as a young woman, with the relations between the sexes, partly but not mainly her own experiences. I am not going to précis her findings: I shall say only that she has a very interesting slant not only on the work/life balance of the French but on the balance between their commitment to marriage, their adherence or otherwise to Catholic moral teaching, and their attitude to sexual relations generally. A lot of the interest of this part of the book may be unintentional, by giving us insights into her own mental and emotional processes. She is obviously very sharp and analytical, for instance, but if the word `love' occurs at all in this context I think I must have missed it.

One very interesting, and for me quite persuasive, insight is her opinion that the French are hidebound in their inherited traditions from 1789 and also in a self-deceiving mythology about themselves. This point the author illustrates from so many different angles that I can't help being drawn into her mindset. She sees herself as freethinking and independent-minded, and I would call that realistic on the evidence here and not a pose or auto-suggestion. Being of this way of thinking clearly creates communication barriers with the French, and Lucy Wadham does not quite convict the French national mindset of outright escapism, but she seems to me to come very near to it.

The book covers a wide spectrum of cultural and political issues, and with one exception I found myself keenly interested in Lucy Wadham's take on them. The exception occurs near the end, and that may have something to do with the matter, say a deadline to meet that did not help her concentration and focus. I really thought that the chatter about M Sarkozy as something called a `sexual dwarf' was a right load of rubbish, but perhaps I ought to reread the passage in due course. One way or another it is not significant enough to influence the rating I am prepared to give this thoroughly intelligent, fair-minded, readable and enjoyable volume. What really impresses me is that not only does the book address so many difficult and contentious topics with gusto and insight, it even provides, on page 64, nothing less than `the key to the French identity'. Short of identifying The Meaning of Life, I think this is as lofty and ambitious a generalisation as I have encountered in many years.

To me a theme of this kind, when attacked with so much mental grip and expressed with such lucidity, is far more interesting and involving than many a novel. I gather the author is a novelist, although this is the first time I have encountered her work. On this showing it will not be the last time.

I struggled to reach a point close to the end of this book and finally gave up. The circles the author moves are no different to those which can be found in any large city. High achievers tend to live life to the full and I suspect Lucy was unable to keep up or change the situation. In seems this book has been used to express her bitterness at no being able to change her husband, France or the French. The generalisations are sweeping and completely inaccurate in my experience. Her conversations with the insiders she quotes appear to be selective and used to prove her rather vague and confused points. I can detect absolutely no warmth or affection for either her husband or the society she has chosen to live in and suspect she continues to live in France to take advantage of the superior social services, who will look after her in her old age, rather than face the bleak future in her home country.

The one incident, which sums up my opinion of the author, is her application to become a French citizen. I am considering applying for French nationality myself, and it didn't take me long to discover that it is a lengthy process. The qualifications needed just to apply for consideration are quite extensive, but clearly laid out. Having travelled all my life and learnt very quickly that, as a foreigner, you will get absolutely nothing done unless you are polite and recognise you are a guest in that country. Frankly I agree with the lady she dealt with, France is better off if she remains a British national. But perhaps my own prejudices are coming through.

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review

› See all 87 customer reviews on Amazon.co.uk

 

4.0 out of 5 stars secret life
a fascinating observation of the french from the perspective of an erudite brit. i say "observation" simply because i am not french nor have i lived in france so i cant... Read more

Published 5 days ago by Nicholas W. Clegg

5.0 out of 5 stars FRANCE & ITS "SECRET GARDENS"
As a confirmed Francophile, I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS BOOK, from which I learned so much more about the cultural mores of France. Read more

Published 12 days ago by MONTGOMERY

5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent read
Like the last reviewer, I found this through the kindle Christmas special offers where it was about 80% cheaper than the current kindle price, so a real bargain. Read more

Published 13 days ago by J. Lock

4.0 out of 5 stars The Secret Life of France
I found this book through the 12 Days of Kindle, and am very glad that I did! It is highly amusing, yet informative at the same time. Read more

Published 1 month ago by C Cochrane-Davies

3.0 out of 5 stars Fine, but feels a bit simplistic
The first thing that surprised me about this book is its personal focus. This book is very much one English person's experience of France (albeit over an extended period). Read more

Published 1 month ago by M. P. Wallace

4.0 out of 5 stars The Secret Life of France
I enjoyed this. Books about foreigners moving to France are plentiful but this was nevertheless and enjoyable example of the genre with atypical forays into more interesting... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Gillian

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful ...
A couple of weeks ago an English friend who has spent half her life here in France recommended a new book called `The Secret Life of France' by Lucy Wadham. Read more

Published 4 months ago by DavidB

5.0 out of 5 stars Going native
This book is a delight; a frank,evocative, erudite and terribly naughty account of a posh housewife going native in France . Read more

Published 6 months ago by Philippe

5.0 out of 5 stars THE SECRET LIFE OF FRANCE
This book, written by ex-pat, Lucy Wadham, shows a fierce pride and love of both Britain and France. Read more

Published 8 months ago by pathutch

5.0 out of 5 stars Light and deep
Lucy Wadham has written an unusual book: one which is light and very easy to read, and one which also goes into surprising depth, with plenty of real insight and original ideas... Read more

Published 10 months ago by HarveyL

Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

› See all 87 customer reviews on Amazon.co.uk

Search Listmania!