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Scotland's Jesus: The Only Officially Non-racist Comedian [Hardcover]

Frankie Boyle
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
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Book Description

24 Oct 2013

Reading Scotland's Jesus should be like being called into the living room by your child shouting that they see a little red dot on the head of a TV newscaster, then riding the white hot bullet through the propaganda circuitry of his or her exploding brain.

It's a funny book about the news, partly because it was decided that a pornographic book about Scottish Independence wouldn't really sell. In chapters ranging from International Politics to the Animal World, ‘Scotland's Jesus’ is allowed the opportunity to showcase his increasingly unsympathetic worldview and disintegrating psyche.

A torrent of jokes about recent events provide the framework for a broader philosophical despair. Frankie Boyle uses the stories of the popular press as a springboard to explain the nature of reality and the details of our enslavement to mirthless corporate Warlocks.

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Scotland's Jesus: The Only Officially Non-racist Comedian + Work! Consume! Die! + My Shit Life So Far
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  • Work! Consume! Die! 5.59
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Product details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins (24 Oct 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0007426836
  • ISBN-13: 978-0007426836
  • Product Dimensions: 23.6 x 15.8 x 3.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 8,658 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Francis Martin Patrick 'Frankie' Boyle was born in Glasgow in 1972. Most recognised for this regular spot on BBC 2's Mock the Week, Frankie's cruel but perfectly constructed gags on politicians, celebrities and society as a whole have cemented his name in the world of comedy.

Product Description

About the Author

Frankie Boyle is a critically acclaimed comedian and bestselling author. His cruel but perfectly constructed nihilistic gags have made him widely feared and pitied.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 18 people found the following review helpful
By james
Professor Frankie Boyle's latest epic tome is a momentous wrenching of consciousness from a dead and indifferent universe, absolutely demolishing the limits until now placed by the laws of physics on our ability to gain insight into observer-independent reality. This book will largely be forgotten in centuries to come which is a shame as it contains the answers to ALL the major epistemological problems, which he nonchalantly, almost accidentally, sets straight in chapter 7 in a way which is utterly impossible to refute and then goes on to describe Wayne Rooney's brain on cocaine as being like the world's bleakest snowglobe.

Much Recommended.
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I'd like to punch Piers Morgan 31 Oct 2013
I'd just completed chapter 1 of this charming book when I suffered from a rather vigorous coughing fit. This wouldn't ordinarily cause me too much concern, but unfortunately I was a) standing on the bus b) wearing a brand new pair of beige short trousers and c) I had taken treble the usual dosage of laxative to deal with some unusually solid faeces that were troubling me. Needless to say the resultant after effects cast a cloud over the rest of the day but at least I got a decent seat at the bingo. The only other person sitting on my table was my good friend Arthur Biscuit whose snot encrusted nasal passages left him oblivious to my dilemma.
Little did he know that chapters two and three had been adapted to form a field tampon to deal with any further leakage.
I won three pounds for a top line and a plate of egg sandwiches in the raffle.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely filthy 31 Jan 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
One wonders what goes on in the Stygian blackness that exists between Boyle's ears. I imagine a roiling mass of fetid sexual flotsam - tossed by waves, fondled by the wind before it is dashed on the rocky pages of a book - THIS book.

Perhaps the more outre moments are only so shocking because Boyle also shares with his unfortunate reader the more vulnerable aspects of his sad, sorry existence, an existence punctuated by violent bouts of over-engineered auto-erotic episodes each one book ended by heart-destroying shame.

Boyle: Scotland's Jesus? I think not. I mean how could he be, Jesus (according to the stories) was crucified - Boyle on the other hand will find his end due to a mixture of chronic hand/wrist fatigue and masturbatory dehydration.

Other than that, it was OK.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Evil? 9 Dec 2013
By Declan
I've read this book twice now and have to say I enjoyed it largely but it seems to have a life of it's own and may be some kind of vessel for an evil spirit. It appears to move around of it's own accord and will often spit at my ankles. I've called the priest over to bless the book but when he arrived at my home he took one look at it let out a bark and began ferociously flinging communion wagers at the book, then he vanished into thin air... The book seems to have banished the priest to hell. It's a rather confusing affair that I still haven't got to the bottom of. All in all I would still recommend this book but it loses a star for being haunted.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!! 27 Nov 2013
What on Earth goes through this mans mind? Frankie is seriously warped!! Do not read if incontinent in any way.........
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Prophet 31 Oct 2013
By Daz
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
From even the greatest of horrors, irony is seldom absent and the world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Thumbs up 30 Oct 2013
By Ferty
I give this book two thumbs up as I only have two thumbs. Frankie Boyle is a man who makes jokes. This is a book he did with jokes. I personally applaud any human who can produce a piece of literature whilst on that much acid, this is worthy of one thumb the other was or being Scottish, terrible book.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
It started when I tried to award Frankie Boyle's Scotland's Jesus five stars. How could I have known that this was exactly the alignment predicted by Alhazred, in his vile tome The Necronomicon, to bring about the end of days? No sooner had I clicked on the final star when the angles of my room shifted obscenely into configurations that would have had Euclid gibbering in a foetid, reeking pool of his own excreta. From the corner of my vision, tentacles shaped like the diseased genitalia of a syphilitic literary critic oozed, cracked and dripping, towards me. I lashed out with my chair, breaking open the seeping flesh of the nearest pseudopod as it probed blindly in my direction. Bright ginger pus reeking of rancid Irn Bru poured from the wound, filling the room with a stench from beyond space. As madness tightened its burning grip, I grabbed Scotland's Jesus and began to read aloud - not realising that I held Boyle's work upside-down. Chanting the one-time Mock the Week panellist's arcane prose backwards, I succeeded in driving the abomination back into the shadows whence it came. But when it left, it took my sanity with it. I write now from the Boyle wing of Arkham Asylum, in crayons made of my own semi-dried stools.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars It's Frankie
Let’s be honest, if you don't realise what this book is going to be like, then you've not been paying attention. This is Frankie Boyle being Frankie Boyle. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Colin Murtagh
1.0 out of 5 stars It's enough to put you off bread.
This is the worst toaster I've ever bought! Dyson should stick to vacuums, and the hand driers you find in bogs.
Published 2 months ago by Billy Book Spoiler72
5.0 out of 5 stars Scotland's bible
Jesus, also referred to as Jesus of Frankie, is the central figure of Boyle-anity (the world's largest religion), whom the teachings of most Boyle denominations hold to be the Son... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Geech
5.0 out of 5 stars gift
This gift was gratefully received, it is value for money and delivery was quick, haven't read it myself but the recipient certainly seemed to like it
Published 2 months ago by Kate Knowles
5.0 out of 5 stars Genius.
Amazing book - I cried on page 88 and laughed on page 89. Very depressing in places and very funny in others, but accurate throughout. Frankie is indeed Jesus and a genius.
Published 2 months ago by kitmerlin1564
5.0 out of 5 stars It's a book
Arrived quickly and well packaged. Brought as a Christmas pressie, will be reading it soon when I can sneak it from under the recipients nose
Published 2 months ago by Deborah Regan
5.0 out of 5 stars Frankie at his best!
Scotland's Jesus indeed! This is Frankie doing what he does best, hilarious social commentary which pushes the borders and takes down a few deserving targets along the way. Read more
Published 3 months ago by micky
5.0 out of 5 stars Jeez Frankie!!!!
Frankie Boyle.....the only funny thing to come out of Scotland, the only funny thing in Scotland, if you don't count men wearing 20 yards of sweaty, itchy tartan, the sight of... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Lewlin
4.0 out of 5 stars Boyle at his best
This book gave me an insight into Boyle's intelligence and ability to make me have a wry smile as well as a belly laugh
Published 3 months ago by Matt Shinn
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read!!
Very funny entertaining Frankie Boyle has no limit to where his humour goes and also extremely intelligent. Broad coverage of politics, news and social affairs.
Published 3 months ago by Lina Appadoo
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