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Samalin & Whitney : Love and Anger/the Parental Dilemma Hardcover – 27 Jun 1991


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Product details

  • Hardcover: 242 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd (27 Jun. 1991)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0670831360
  • ISBN-13: 978-0670831364
  • Product Dimensions: 50.8 x 50.8 x 50.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,436,961 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

From the Author

Chosen by CHILD Mag. as best parenting book of 1991
I consider LOVE & ANGER a sequel to my first book, LOVING YOUR CHILD IS NOT ENOUGH, Positive Discipline that Works, also published by Penguin for over a decade. In LOVE & ANGER: The Parental Dilemma, I have tried to help parents express the inevitable anger that every loving parent sometimes feels--without hurting or insulting their children. All the examples, anecdotes and dialogs are based on the contributions of actual parents who have attended my workshops over the past two decades. Practical, specific skills and techniques are offered in lieu of theory. My goal is to help parents feel less guilty about their anger, but to learn to express it in healthy ways that their children--toddlers through teens--can emulate. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 3 Jun. 1999
Format: Paperback
A friend of mine gave me this book because I was getting really frustrated with my two toddlers, it has really given me some realistic problem solving ideas and they have really helped my family with our emotions. Another point I would like to address about this book is it helps to allow the child to be responsible and still feel that they are okay, I want my children to have inner control and self-esteem this is a great guide for this.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 10 Mar. 1999
Format: Paperback
Ms. Samalin gives us a handle on dealing with our children in an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding. Her book provides practical examples of how to speak to your child in an affirmative manner, get as good or better results in getting them to do what you want, and not leave your child brimming with resentment. When this same situation comes up next time, your child will be more apt to do it the way you would like. This book bears re-reading on a regular basis to keep these scripts accessible to you when you are in the heat of the battle. You'll find that you feel so much better and in control when you use calm language. And watch the results!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 24 Jan. 1999
Format: Paperback
Every parent gets angry. This book helps you understand that anger and gives realistic approaches to gaining control.
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By -ash on 24 July 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My wife used to get angry often and after reading this book she looks very calm and handle my daughter smoothly.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 23 reviews
46 of 47 people found the following review helpful
Good Parents Do Get Angry! 18 April 2000
By Amy Bean - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is a must-read for anyone who's ever been angry with their kids...in other words, every parent! In the second of her three incredible books, Ms. Samalin shows us that it is normal to sometimes feel intense anger toward our children. Using real-life examples from her parenting workshops, she describes the most common triggers for parental anger, and provides specific techniques for dealing with it in a way that we can be proud of later. In addition to helping me feel better about my own behavior, I know that responding in the ways Samalin suggests has helped me to provide a much better model of anger management for my kids. After all, this is not a skill that comes naturally; it is learned, for better or worse, at home. I am so grateful to have had this book to turn to when my children were still impressionable preschoolers.
26 of 26 people found the following review helpful
Great tool for parents! 25 Nov. 2002
By Just Another Mom - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
I just finished LOVE AND ANGER and I have to say it is going to save my life! I was acting like a complete ogre with my kids (8 and 11) and was feeling incredibly guilty about screwing them up for life. My joke with friends about the therapy my kids were destined for, "Well there's another hour on the couch for so and so," was not so funny any more. This book was the answer to my prayers. It has given me so many practical tips on how to react to my children in less angry ways. I am already finding myself listening and empathizing more with my kids' feelings. It is a must read for parents.
24 of 26 people found the following review helpful
Amazing, tremendous read. 28 Oct. 2002
By Ken Elder - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
I am a father of 3 wonderful children but our relationship has been somewhat rocky at times. Samalin's book has not only helped me deal with my anger and feel less guilty but it has also greatly improved my relationship with all three of my kids. Samalin's book gives tons of practical examples of how to speak to your children in an affirmative rather than negative manner, and get them to do what you want without causing resentment. I've read this book twice and I plan to read it again so that I will continue to apply it's many useful concepts. Once you read this book you will definitely notice that you are more in control, calmer and can communicate with your children in a much more effective manner. This is by far the best book on parenting I have ever read and is an essential parenting resource.
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Phenomenal Book 28 Oct. 2002
By Chris Duncan - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
I believe this book is a must read for all parents. Nancy Samalin focuses on common triggers for anger towards our kids and provides numerous techniques for effectively dealing with that anger. One of the many things I found helpful about this book was that it allowed me to step back, think for a moment, and then respond rather that simply react to stressful, anger inducing situations. As a result, I've found that I am yelling less and my son's outbursts have become much less frequent. Not only do I feel less guilty about my anger but now I know how to deal with it in a much more effective manner. Reacting rather than thinking was really hurting our relationship and I didn't know what to do about it before buying this book. I recommend it highly!
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
I'm not crazy; maybe you aren't either 8 July 2002
By Amazon Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After my wife and I expanded our family from 1 child to 3 (we adopted a 4 year old boy; my wife gave birth to a baby girl 6 weeks later; we already had a 6 year old boy), I found myself yelling (screaming) at the boys more often than not. This book taught me something fundamental: that I'm not a totally broken parent. From this foundation I have been able to improve my parenting style (and thus the situation) enough to really believe that things will work out for us.
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