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The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right (Hardcover)

by Ellen Fein (Author), Sherrie Schneider (Author) "No one seems to remember exactly how The Rules got started, but we think they began circa 1917 with Melanie's grandmother who made men wait..." (more)
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
Price: £20.03 + £0.11 sourcing fee & this item Delivered FREE in the UK with Super Saver Delivery. See details and conditions
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Price For All Three: £32.02

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Warner Books (Feb 1995)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 0446518131
  • ISBN-13: 978-0446518130
  • Product Dimensions: 21.6 x 14.2 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 136,423 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Product Description

Product Description

Advice on how to behave, speak and act in order to get your man to propose. This book gives advice on letting him do all the work in the relationship, always ending phone conversations first and not having sex on the first, second or even third date. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.


About the Author

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider have helped countless unmarried women find marital bliss. Ellen is studing for her Masters in social work and Sherrie is a freelance journalist. They have become chat show regulars and household names in the USA. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.
Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
No one seems to remember exactly how The Rules got started, but we think they began circa 1917 with Melanie's grandmother who made men wait nervously in her parent's parlor in a small suburb of Michigan. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
45% buy the item featured on this page:
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The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right
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The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right 3.7 out of 5 stars (49)
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Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
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Customer Reviews

16 Reviews
5 star:
 (9)
4 star:
 (1)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:
 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.6 out of 5 stars (16 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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34 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars i regret ever reading this book, 3 April 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr.Right (Paperback)
I tried the rules out myself, kept phone calls short, played hard to get, it was fun and I enjoyed the game. Then I met someone whom I've since come to see in hindsight genuinely cared for me. I found the rules hard to keep because I just wanted to spend time with him and open up to him, but I'd been hurt before so I decided to keep using them to protect myself. But...

...he found the book in my room, read through it while I was out, and saw that some things which we had argued about in the past (e.g. why I rarely phoned him, why I was so "busy") and had caused some friction in our relationship were a result of the rules, which I hadn't told him about. He told me he couldn't trust my word or respect me any more for treating him like the subject of an experiment, and left - I haven't been able to contact him since.

It started out like a game and made me feel desired and in control for a while but it has left me in a bad place emotionally, I feel like I've blown perhaps what could have worked and lost a degree of my own self-respect too. I regret BIG TIME ever picking up this silly, destructive book and applying it to my life.

The rules won't win the love of any man worth winning, just men who are desperate, dull and predictable in their behaviour. The best advice to women in this book is "be an uncommon creature" - but I've come to realise that such a woman would use her own wisdom and character, not a list of shallow rules about how to live her life.

I've learnt a lot from this book, but not what I was expecting to - above all, that games can end up hurting everyone involved. You're better off reading a book that helps you communicate with and understand your partner better rather than one that teaches you how to play cheap psychological tricks on them.

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44 of 50 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars If you want to get married - this is the book for you!, 25 Feb 2002
By A Customer
This is the book to read if you want to get married. It is a serious approach to capturing the heart of a man by firing up 'his desire', and keeping it. Instead of chapters, the book is set out in rules - 55 in total. It covers almost every potential dating situation. Everything outlined requires tremendous will power and contravenes all typical female/modern dating activity - it's taking you back to the 'good old days'. You can definitely see where results would be achieved.

It is very entertaining, and well written. It's the 'smug marrieds' passing down the widsom to the 'singletons' of this world in a non-patronising way. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and it does make sense - you can see where the psychology behind it is coming from. I'm just not quite sure how achievable it really is......

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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars A male dating coach's perspective on 'The Rules', 19 Aug 2008
This review is from: The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right (Hardcover)
I believe this book comes from a good place in its intention to empower women, and indeed the advice may work, but not as claimed. As a professional dating coach for GetTheGuy.co.uk in London many women quote me `The Rules'. It appears to be game playing at its extreme, telling women to maintain a facade of being busy, interesting and mysterious. Why the authors have such low expectations of their readers that they assume they have to fake these things is slightly bemusing. Basically it is about appearing `Hard to Get'. Of course there's nothing wrong with being a little bit unavailable, so the author's advice - don't talk to a man first, end calls first, never accept last minute dates etc. - is by no means unfounded, but contains some fatal flaws:

1. For every girl playing games there's a guy:
Like attracts like. Such tactics are likely to land you someone who employs similar tactics. You could turn those straight up guys you desire into a game players themselves if they feel the need to resort to such tactics to compete. Guys are much quicker to recognise game playing than you think. Who wins?

2. Is this a sustainable set of tools for getting the guy?
This is a quick fix mentality which says - keep pretending long enough and he'll ask you to marry him (Yes, the authors also stereotype every woman on the planet as marriage hungry). When you stop playing hard to get, will he be left wondering whether the REAL you is enough. Playing hard to get requires no charisma or personality; it takes courage to be yourself. This book is only quick fixes, illustrated by: "If you have a bad nose, GET A NOSE JOB."

3. Would you be attracted to a guy if you knew he was manipulating you?
If the answer is no, then DONT DO IT. If you want great relationships, don't be a hypocrite.

4. Apparently shy guys don't exist, and never have
Their message is: "If a man doesn't walk across the room to seek you out...then he's obviously not interested". Having coached men as well as women I know that a guy may think your a goddess, but that doesn't mean he'll have the confidence to approach you.

5. "You have to wait for someone to notice you"
Is this really the face of empowerment for women? Women deserve better, especially from their own. They say women who are forward "always end up heart broken when their forwardness is rebuffed". What are the chances of every guy you are interested in making the move you want? We teach not how to avoid rejection, but how to make things happen in spite of rejection. Would you rather be alone with no rejections, or with the man of your choice with a few healthy rejections under your belt?

Conclusion

If you want some light entertainment, or you just plain dislike the very men you are trying to be with, read this book. If you want genuinely practical and proven advice about being more attractive to men, steer clear.
The book states that "It's better to stay at home and read The Rules than go out and break them". I put to you that it is better to go out and meet new and interesting people than to sit at home and read a book telling you to wait to be noticed.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars The Rules
The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr.Right
This could make or break your relationship! Either way it does exactly what it says on the front cover! Read more
Published 4 months ago by Leila-Lils

1.0 out of 5 stars Not a good direction to go in...
Not a good direction to go in...

The Rules is a short, trite book written for women on how to find and capture a man's heart, or, should I say, trap a man into... Read more
Published 14 months ago by C. Clayton

5.0 out of 5 stars Girls it is for us
the first thoughts in my mind - it is great, useful, proven,readable!
from the begining then.....i have been recomended to read this book from my best friend. Read more
Published on 29 April 2005 by anasty

3.0 out of 5 stars Rules Rules
My flat-mate left this book in our kitchen and I started reading it- it is completely hilarious! Really enjoyed it. Read more
Published on 24 Mar 2005 by gavlew

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Stuff
This book really doesn't deserve the criticism it has attracted. The main problem I think is that people read it and then try to do the Rules verbatim and thats difficult because... Read more
Published on 16 Dec 2002

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that finally empowers women
I read this book a few years ago, and not only has my self esteem increased but my ability to attract the right sort of men, and weed out the losers is 100 times better. Read more
Published on 21 Aug 2001

5.0 out of 5 stars just read it
I found this book very useful and not just in my relationships with men - its helped me to get on better with friends and relatives. Read more
Published on 19 Aug 2001

1.0 out of 5 stars Repugnant Tosh
Do women really believe that this rubbish empowers them? The rules seems to have utterly forgotten a little thing called feminism (and also the concept of respect - for oneself... Read more
Published on 15 Feb 2001

1.0 out of 5 stars Ridiculous anti-feminist rubbish
This book is straight out of the 1950's and does nothing to help sustain all the progress achieved by the women's movement. Read more
Published on 9 Jan 2001

5.0 out of 5 stars the most useful book I have ever read
Hi!this book is the most extraordinary thing I have ever read!If you follow its advice, you will be the most desiderable woman on earth, men will treat you like a queen (stop with... Read more
Published on 18 Oct 2000

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