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Rubbish Boyfriends [Kindle Edition]

Jessie Jones
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £13.99
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Book Description

We’ve all had them – but can Dayna find the diamond amongst the rough?

A hilarious and high-concept novel about love in the 21st century for the Facebook generation, published in the run-up to Valentine’s Day.

Everyone's had rubbish boyfriends but Dayna Harris seems to have had more than her fair share.

Now, aged 27, Dayna lies on her maternity bed, thinking back, with every excruciating contraction, to the ghosts of boyfriends past. Against a nostalgic soundtrack of 90s pop classics, we're taken on a journey of her romantic history, beginning with Simon, with a penchant for cuddly toys and the libido of a rabbit.

On to earnest Chris, an aspiring musician and professional vegetarian. He's lovely but he and carnivore beauty therapist Danya are chalk and cheese.

Then there's Cockney geezer Archie. A joker and entrepreneur, she falls hook, line and sinker for him. But then he starts making excuses not to see her - but not for the reason she thinks.

A brief blip at an uber-cool party with drop-dead gorgeous artist Gabriel is followed by Mark, kind to kittens, old people and small children and too good to be true. Until Dayna finds out his shocking secret….

Just as she's despairing of ever finding The One, Cristian walks into her life. Dressed like a male model, he knows all the right people and treats her like a princess. So why doesn't her heart sing?

A chance encounter with all of her exes brings her to the present day - and the maternity ward. But who's the daddy?

Product Description


All bookshop, independent and library sales to Gardners Books Customer Care Tel: +44 (0)1323 521777 Customer Care Fax: +44 (0)1323 521666 Gardcall: 01323 521444

About the Author

Jessie Jones is the pseudonym of a London-based bestselling author. She thoroughly enjoyed writing Rubbish Boyfriends and is wondering if there will be a market for a follow-up. Or maybe a series? How about Rubbish Husbands/Rubbish Children/Rubbish Mid-Life Crisis/Rubbish Old People's Homes? She is currently working on her sixth novel, several TV treatments and a Hollywood blockbuster featuring her pals Brad Pitt and George Clooney. No, sorry, that bit's just rubbish…

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 522 KB
  • Print Length: 436 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1847560773
  • Publisher: Avon (4 Sept. 2008)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002RI9PB8
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #67,937 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars We want more 19 Feb. 2008
As an avid reader, there is very little I won't bother picking up (usually sci-fi- sorry). I'm currently doing a Literature course and as some of the set texts are quite heavy going I like to pop a few easy reading books in the basket when out shopping, not usually expecting a great deal from them though. Until Rubbish Boyfriends! Got it on Friday and finished it last night- quite late too as there was no way I was getting any sleep without finding out who the father was.
It is a written in such an easy way, you genuinely feel you know the characters but with enough unreality to allow you to escape your own day-to-day which, lets face it- it's why we're reading in the first place.
Rarely would I feel the desire to post a comment but this book deserves it because I want to reiterate other posts on how enjoyable a read Rubbish Boyfriends is. And because I'm hoping 'Jessie Jones' (whomever you may be) is reading and maybe decides there is the market for a follow up :) Congrats!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant concept, rubbish execution. 16 April 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I loved the concept of this book and hoped I'd identify with the main character, having had my share of rubbish boyfriends! However, I didn't find the book at all funny and didn't like how the author basically gave the game away by telling the reader what exactly what was wrong with each boyfriend through less than subtle hints, but then dragged it out until the irritating main character finally worked it out herself. I thought it would have worked much better if it was sprung upon the reader and there were more surprises and twists.
The book was very slow to begin with and the main character was extremely annoying, I even considered putting it down at one point, but kept on and it seemed to get more interesting - but was met with a rushed and ridiculous ending, that is not even explained.
I didn't find the story at all believable or witty. The main character stays friends with her first ex, who treats her very badly, which I found silly and not very well thought out by the author. One of her other boyfriend's, Mark, turns up during her labour because he volunteers at that hospital and they just so happen to bump into each other - which felt like a rubbish soap storyline. I didn't see the point of this, as it only seemed to pad things out rather than adding anything to the story.
I won't spoil the ending, but it made no sense whatsoever and the whole thing was quite poor. I'm sure some would disagree, but for me it was more like 'Rubbish Book' than 'Rubbish Boyfriends'.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I wrote a song, I wrote a song for you.... 14 Mar. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book was based on a a 27 year old (just like me), going through labour and for some reason (I can't remember why), she was flashing back to her boyfriends past with every centimetres dilation (sp?!). It more or less read like a life story from leaving school, to ending up on her back in the labour ward giving birth, with the father not being revealed to the final page. From other reviews, I felt people had a real sense of who's the daddy while reading this book. I have to admit, I didn't have the sense, infact, I more or less forgot the whole childbirth aspect of it till the end. I was a little disappointed that the start of the book took the reader through each boyfriend in good detail and then suddenly at the end it all went blurry and hazy and dare I say a little rushed? and how she ended up pregnant with who she did could have done with some kind of explanation...

A few reviews I have read were quite critical of the main protagonist, and I have to say I back that view. She was frustratingly hard to like and sympathise with, particularly in her relationship with her father, she got on my nerves there. Also, her relationship with Simon got on my nerves and I didn't find his character believable. Whereas a lot of the smaller characters such as her dad, step mum and best friends, were some of the best. However, my favourite character in the book was Chris Martin, HA! I loved that twist, and guessed it was someone famous quite quick then worked it out way before it was revealed. I think it would have been better left at that, and was really annoyed when she met up with him again and when a bigger deal was made of it towards the end, the subtlety of it at the start was lovely, and made me feel like I had an in-joke with the author.

What I did like though, was that this book was very easy reading, entertaining enough, and made me think about my "rubbish boyfriends" past.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Can we have a sequel? 29 Dec. 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I bought this book initially because I loved the honesty of the title and the eye-catching cover. A few pages in and I was totally gripped.

The story flits between Dayna in the present tense, who is in labour (executed hilariously by Jessie Jones) and through flashbacks to the past where we are told the stories of Dayna's `Rubbish Boyfriends'. One of whom is the father of the baby.

The character of Dayna was just brilliant. She was funny, down to earth, very real and extremely likeable. Exactly the kind of character I could find an affinity with and would like to meet in real life.

I loved how each of Dayna's past boyfriends were so completely different from each other. They were visually written so I had no trouble imagining them and deciding on who was my favourite (it was a close call between Simon and Chris. Simon was the cute, blokey bloke but I decided on Chris in the end. Perhaps because of the hilarious twist on who Chris actually is -which delighted me)

This is the first book by Jessie Jones (who is the pseudonym of author Maria Beaumont) and I really hope it is not the last. I would love to see a sequel to Rubbish Boyfriends because it was one of my favourite books of this year.

If you are looking for unashamed chick lit that is well written, laugh out loud and crammed full of blokes, then I would totally recommend this book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
love it
Published 6 months ago by Tracy Brouard
5.0 out of 5 stars jessie jones not alone!!!
Loved every crazy word of it!! Well worth a read!! P.s Is actually written by maria beaumont, and hubbster matt beaumont writes too, have read all their work and was not let down!! Read more
Published 9 months ago by loonymoonie
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing
love it!!
didnt want to put the book down
had me in fits laughting.
know dout will read again
Published 14 months ago by tanist
4.0 out of 5 stars enjoyable read
I loves reading the funny situations Dayan found herself in and that she never did work out what happened with Kirsty!
Published 15 months ago by C. Reeve
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this!
I've left a few book reviews before as I know authors like the feedback but for this book I HAD to leave feedback because I loved it so much. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Reader80
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent read
Very amusing book, a great read for everyone, thoroughly enjoyed the story line and would highly recommend it to all
Published 23 months ago by Dee
5.0 out of 5 stars Great
This story was a great read. I really enjoyed it and read it quickly over a couple of days .
Published on 25 Jan. 2013 by Rosie McT
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant - been waiting 4 years for Jessie to write another!!
This was brilliant (First read it in 2008 and I'm regularly checking the net to see if book 2 has been written!. PLEASE Jessie write us another. Read more
Published on 4 Nov. 2012 by Jaycee
5.0 out of 5 stars couison
Brilliant a very good read, funny, witty, an excellent feel good read. I was literally laughing out loud quite a few times.
Excellent value.well worth the pruce.
Published on 29 April 2012 by Flossy
4.0 out of 5 stars Great, lighthearted but very funny xxx
I bought this book for 99p- first real bargain kindle book i had bought so wasn't really expecting much! I was very pleasently surprised!!!! Read more
Published on 2 April 2012 by Joanne
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