- Paperback: 335 pages
- Publisher: Canongate Books Ltd; New edition edition (22 Feb 2007)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 1841958948
- ISBN-13: 978-1841958941
- Product Dimensions: 19.4 x 12.8 x 2.6 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
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Amazon Bestsellers Rank:
409,044 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #98 in Books > History > Britain & Ireland > British Heads of State > Mary I
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More About the Author
Product Description
Review
"Move this to the top of your reading list because it's a gem" Glamour "Relative Stranger is not' just' about mental sickness, but about family relationships, expectations, and the different ways we all find to survive the perilous journey of life." Daily Mail "Outstanding... This is memoir as painstaking investigation...which Mary Loudon achieves triumphantly with a novelists eye for detail. Vivid, true and moving." The Times"
GLAMOUR
"Move this to the top of your reading list because it's a gem, in
which Loudon tackles the tricky subject of how you grieve for a loved one
you barely knew - and how you cope when you discover you knew even less
than you thought... Her harrowing but compelling memoir [is] a book full of
questions - because isn't that what you're left with when you lose someone?
- as well as a vibrantly honest account of raw emotions."
which Loudon tackles the tricky subject of how you grieve for a loved one
you barely knew - and how you cope when you discover you knew even less
than you thought... Her harrowing but compelling memoir [is] a book full of
questions - because isn't that what you're left with when you lose someone?
- as well as a vibrantly honest account of raw emotions."
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
The book is interesting and moving in parts, learning about Catherine's life was interesting and helps us to see that people with schizophrenia are more than their illness. However, Mary Loudon comes accross as unlikeable and constantly wanting to reassure herself that she was a good enough sister, the book was repetetive in places and there was too much hand wringing and introspection from the author for my liking.
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Mary Loudon's memoir of her late sister's life is intensely personal. The author does not flinch from graphic detail, she visits the places her sister used to go, the cafés she is supposed to have eaten at, sifts through her paintings, music and letters, seeks out the people she turned to for support, and yet Catherine's personality and substance evades us, even in death. The memoir gives rise to the question whether it is possible to ever know anybody else, even one's own sister.
Mary Loudon resolutely concentrates on her own reactions, she chats with Catherine's nurses, doctor, social worker, newsagent to build a picture of who her sister was. The great achievement is that far from reading like a standard biography, date of birth, place or birth, list of things done, a collage of other people's cuttings, etc., it is the things that preoccupy Mary herself, as Catherine's baby sister, in the immediate weeks after Catherine's death that focuses our attention.
Mary Loudon examines her own and others' apparent callousness in reaction to news of Catherine's death, given Catherine's self-selected isolation from her family and community owing to her schizophrenia, which has thrown her into a world of seemingly incomprehensible paranoia and 'madness'. Mary's description of Catherine's flat is horrific, and the reader shares with Mary the need to comprehend what lies behind the 'madness' of it all, the isolation and the illness. We share Mary's momentary fury that 'they' should have done more for Catherine, whilst at the same time acknowledging that Catherine's own wishes were being respected, not least by her own family. That Catherine came from a normal, kind family - reflected in the personal journals of Catherine's GP father, who went to India personally to find her, but refused to force her or lie to her to return to England - makes the sad story all the more poignant. It made me reflect on all the 'mad' and lonely people one sees tramping around the streets of London, many of them well-spoken, and wonder, who are they? Are they like Catherine? Do they have loving families and friends that they have cut off from their lives because of the ravages of schizophrenia? What can be done for them?
The book gave me enormous food for thought because it made me consider my own community as well as give an insight into how to write a skilful memoir with immense power, without ever falling into sentimentalism, romantism, prurience, nor glossing over hard unpalatable truths, not least about ourselves and our own reactions towards the insane, and our own fears surrounding the issues. A very complex book written simply and beautifully.
Mary Loudon resolutely concentrates on her own reactions, she chats with Catherine's nurses, doctor, social worker, newsagent to build a picture of who her sister was. The great achievement is that far from reading like a standard biography, date of birth, place or birth, list of things done, a collage of other people's cuttings, etc., it is the things that preoccupy Mary herself, as Catherine's baby sister, in the immediate weeks after Catherine's death that focuses our attention.
Mary Loudon examines her own and others' apparent callousness in reaction to news of Catherine's death, given Catherine's self-selected isolation from her family and community owing to her schizophrenia, which has thrown her into a world of seemingly incomprehensible paranoia and 'madness'. Mary's description of Catherine's flat is horrific, and the reader shares with Mary the need to comprehend what lies behind the 'madness' of it all, the isolation and the illness. We share Mary's momentary fury that 'they' should have done more for Catherine, whilst at the same time acknowledging that Catherine's own wishes were being respected, not least by her own family. That Catherine came from a normal, kind family - reflected in the personal journals of Catherine's GP father, who went to India personally to find her, but refused to force her or lie to her to return to England - makes the sad story all the more poignant. It made me reflect on all the 'mad' and lonely people one sees tramping around the streets of London, many of them well-spoken, and wonder, who are they? Are they like Catherine? Do they have loving families and friends that they have cut off from their lives because of the ravages of schizophrenia? What can be done for them?
The book gave me enormous food for thought because it made me consider my own community as well as give an insight into how to write a skilful memoir with immense power, without ever falling into sentimentalism, romantism, prurience, nor glossing over hard unpalatable truths, not least about ourselves and our own reactions towards the insane, and our own fears surrounding the issues. A very complex book written simply and beautifully.
6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Mary Loudon's latest book Relative Stranger offers a unique insight into a life burdened with the extremes of a devastating mental illness and its consequences upon family life. Through her highly individual and compelling style the authour takes us through her own personal process of grief and finally, acceptance. It is an intensely moving experience and one we can take an awful lot from.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
mary bigs herself up
The raw material of this story is compelling for many reasons - not least of which the priveledged background of the subject, Catherine, her severe mental illness and her decision... Read more
Published 4 months ago by thetruthshallsetyefree
Fascinating and very sad
This is such a good book. It is thoughtful, honest and well written. It really made me think about what it must be like to live with a person who is seriously mentally ill in the... Read more
Published 14 months ago by If Only You Knew
A Great Read!
I found Mary's book incredibly moving and I think almost essential reading for anyone who has lived with mental illness in a family. Read more
Published on 16 April 2009 by Clan
A personal story that is sometimes just too personal
When Loudon sister dies of cancer she sets out to discover more about the schizophrenic sibling, Cathie, who had cut her, and the rest of her family, out of her life. Read more
Published on 11 Aug 2008 by Hayles
Not to be missed
Mary Loudon's touching account of the life of her sister, Catherine, who suffered with schizophrenia, cannot fail to engage its readers. Read more
Published on 3 April 2006 by M. Rolfe
You must read this book
How can a book dealing with such a dark subject be so uplifting? How can a book that deals with mental illness read like a thriller? This book does both. A quite amazing read. Read more
Published on 26 Mar 2006 by Alex
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