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It's too bad that most people will take on this book because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with this approach in the beginning. I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this book and recommend it to others.
The book is extremely direct. The author makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship.
The book is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. It is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship).
Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn.
The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.
The steps are extensive, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts. Before you are done, you will be sharing what you have done with your partner. I have to believe that anyone who was told that their partner had been working on these questions and exercises would be very impressed by the commitment to the relationship that this effort represented. It can help overcome a lot of thoughtlessness that may have preceded that sharing.
If your relationship is on the rocks, that idea of reconnecting can be scary. I was impressed to see that the book provides a 14 day program to help you with exercises that help reconnect you emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Most counselors would probably not give you this much guidance.
One of the finest things in life is to have a great relationship with other people. This book gives you the necessary background to move in that direction. The rest is up to you, as the author says. Give it a shot! You have a lot to gain!
This book by Dr Phil McGraw cuts through the fluff and gets straight to the point. I feel this is what you need when emotions are running high and you can't see the woods for the trees. Dr McGraw doesn't show you the path to take nor does he tell you what to do, he goes one step further and empowers you to find the answers for yourself. This is invaluable for you personally and your relationship and not only helps your current situation, but provides you with skills to use positively in many other relationships in life.
If you are happy to dig deep and face some often painful but true reflective emotions? then this book is nothing short of brilliant in its approach. It will also save you hundreds of pounds in counselling fees!
If you have a healthy relationship that just is getting boring or one that needs a more analysis to establish what is wrong, then look no further than this book. It teaches you the skills required to do this and these are skills that even some therapists do not use!
After eight years of being with my partner, we needed to revamp and shake things up again. We were due to get married this year. Instead we put the plans on hold and were seriously in doubt whether we should get married and call it a day.
This book has given us both clarity. We used it separately and only discussed the vital points together that were necessary in order to get through it together. We have not shown each other our journals and never will. There is no need. This book has given us clarity and allowed us to recognise the areas of ourselves that we need to work on and the areas of our relationship that we need to work on. If you are that certain that your relationship is over...do yourself one last favour....at least earn the right to end the relationship after all the efforts you have put in previously.
Thank you Dr McGraw....We are now getting married and both of us are happier than we have ever been in our relationship. We realise that there is ongoing work to be done, but now know that this is just a natural part of a relationship and we are both happy to do this work. Our relationship now feels real. I'm indebted to you and thank you for writing this book so excellently. Thank you!
Inspiring. I am still in the middle of it though, but I don't regret my purchase.
Listmania!
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