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Book Description
Practical and positive strategies for coping with a partner's children
Product Description
According to statistics, one in three people in the UK today is likely to be involved in a step-family at some point in their life. In Step-Families, Suzie Hayman looks at the problems that may arise as a result of this life-change and offers strategies for coping with them.
It is common for a 'new' parent to suffer from feelings of isolation, guilt and anxiety while the established parent is concerned with balancing his or her needs with those of their partner, their children and possibly step-children. How do you also manage a sexual relationship if you are a single parent? Or accept the on-going role of the partner's 'ex' and the involvement of grandparents?
Suzie Hayman uses personal stories to suggest ways in which you can come to terms with feelings, resolve problems and anticipate trouble before it starts. She takes a candid look at family politics - from an adult's point of view as well as a child's - and also addresses the relationship issues which arise if you and your partner decide to have children of your own.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
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I read this book when I was already several years into my relationship with my partners children and found it so useful that I wish I had read it right at the start. The other reviewer here seems unhappy that the book covers different perspectives, but for me that was it's best feature. This book provides a good balance of sympathy, reassurance and guidance for the step-parent, but also some insights into the conflicted emotions and loyalties of the natural parent and their children.
One of the difficulties of being a step-parent is trying to discuss and resolve step-parenting problems with your partner, without it turning into a battle of loyalties. I was able to use this book to open up discussion with my partner about practical and emotional issues that had remained unresolved for a long time, because it articulated a lot of the problems and emotions I had been experiencing far better than I could, and had the credibility of a rational outside perspective, and case studies that showed I/we weren't alone. Reading it made me feel relieved, better informed about my own feelings and reactions to my step-children and partner, and better able to to deal with the many stresses of step-parenting.
One of the difficulties of being a step-parent is trying to discuss and resolve step-parenting problems with your partner, without it turning into a battle of loyalties. I was able to use this book to open up discussion with my partner about practical and emotional issues that had remained unresolved for a long time, because it articulated a lot of the problems and emotions I had been experiencing far better than I could, and had the credibility of a rational outside perspective, and case studies that showed I/we weren't alone. Reading it made me feel relieved, better informed about my own feelings and reactions to my step-children and partner, and better able to to deal with the many stresses of step-parenting.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Having recently moved in with my partner we were finding it difficult to balance and adjust to also having his 4 yr old on alternate weekends. No friends in similar situations or family members having gone through the same thing, we decided to get the book and so far we have both found it to be really helpful. Even if it just confirms what we are thinking already, it is a good back up and gives a fresh take on things when we feel a bit stuck on how to deal with certain things. Easy to read and understanding with lots of real examples - basically as you would expect from Relate. Helps you to realise all of your emotions are to be expected
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
As a new step parent, I found this book not helpful:
1. It's not that well written, wordy and not well structured
2. It's not always clear who is the audience: the step parent, bilogical parent, or step child
3. The overall tone is pessimistic - it seems that no matter what you do it will cause problems for your children. There seemed to be few encouraging or positive examples of how to do a good job and make "blended" families work. Given that most people these days live in some kind of non-traditional family, we need to know how to make it work, not be put off and made anxious by knowing how easy and seemingly inevitable it is to get it wrong.
1. It's not that well written, wordy and not well structured
2. It's not always clear who is the audience: the step parent, bilogical parent, or step child
3. The overall tone is pessimistic - it seems that no matter what you do it will cause problems for your children. There seemed to be few encouraging or positive examples of how to do a good job and make "blended" families work. Given that most people these days live in some kind of non-traditional family, we need to know how to make it work, not be put off and made anxious by knowing how easy and seemingly inevitable it is to get it wrong.
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