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Relate Guide To Staying Together: From Crisis to Deeper Commitment [Paperback]

Relate , Susan Quilliam
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
RRP: £8.99
Price: £7.19 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over £10. Details
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Book Description

4 Jan 2001 Relate
Packed with relationship advice from Relate, the marriage guidance experts, Staying Together offers guidelines to help couples survive and grow through their relationship problems so that they need not separate and may maintain their commitment to each other. Case histories, quizzes and questionnaires show how this is possible and even how to make a partnership stronger. The book covers how to: --confront difficulties --understand your partner --re-negotiate an improved relationship --develop skills to make improvements last --assess when problems first appeared and how they developed --face changes --communicate and meet a partner's needs --create good times --build on commitment and happiness.

Frequently Bought Together

Relate Guide To Staying Together: From Crisis to Deeper Commitment + Stop Arguing, Start Talking: The 10 Point Plan for Couples in Conflict (Relate) + The Relate Guide To Better Relationships: Practical Ways to Make Your Love Last From the Experts in Marriage Guidance (Relate Guides)
Price For All Three: £22.37

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Product details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Vermilion (4 Jan 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 009185671X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0091856717
  • Product Dimensions: 12.6 x 1.6 x 19.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 16,059 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Who am I? Born in Liverpool, I trained in psychology, teaching and
counselling. Pretty soon, I realised that what underpinned all these
activities - and what really motivates me - is the single goal of
helping people have the best relationships they can possibly have.

So for the past 30-something years I've been doing just that through
my books!

I'm delighted to now be published in 33 countries and 24 languages,
to have sold over 1 million copies of my work, to have written the
best-selling book on Relate's publishing list (Stop Arguing Start
Talking) and to have had my writing recognised by being designated
one of the Family Planning Association's 21st Century Achievers.

I also love supporting clients to have good relationships through my
coaching services, by writing advice columns for Fabulous magazine
and the Cliterati website, but also by being on the Editorial
Committee of the global Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive
Health as well as on the Advisory Boards of the Sexual Advice Association, Women's Health Concern and the Open University Enduring Love? project.

I also know that dreams come true. Because I once said to a friend
that my dream would be to update the Joy of Sex for the 21st century.
Guess what? Seven years ago I was asked by the Joy of Sex estate to
do just that. The project was a total privilege and pleasure, the
result won Publication of the Year at the Erotic Awards 2010, and it
remains my favourite book to date.

If you'd like to know what else I do; to read my qualifications,
credentials and affiliations; to ask me a question, or to discuss
working together, please do get in touch via my website I'd love to hear from you.

Product Description


"the only relationship book you'll ever need" (The Times)

Book Description

A self-help book for couples who want to overcome their relationship problems and remain together, from the Relate relationship experts.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
55 of 57 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars fighting to stay together 7 Dec 2006
Susan Quilliam's book is vital to any couple who are, deep down, willing to work hard at saving their relationship. Quite rightly, there is no attempt by the author to mask the fact that there will be blood sweat and tears involved. Of course, sometimes a relationship can't be saved (while also it can be 'saved' for the wrong reasons), but where this book is the most effective is in its no-nonsense approach to breaching that chasm between the crisis and the deeper commitment of the title.

In co-operation with Relate, the invaluable family-orientated counselling organisation, Quilliam tackles a comprehensive number of possible crises experienced by couples and, most crucially of all, suggests a variety of possible reasons for the painful situation. Admittedly, many of the real reasons for a crisis (childhood trauma, deep-seated and mostly unconscious models of behaviour learned in early years) would be hard to uncover, analyse and resolve witout the aid of a trained counsellor and a long amount of time, but the book does offer some tips for couples to do their own therapy - whether it be taking time to talk, spending quality time together, or thinking about their personal needs. These tips are provided in the form of short quizes for both partners, exercises, tasks and surveys.

The book is peppered with fascinating and often moving accounts of genuine couples who have visited Relate counsellors. These are not only interesting from a psychologically insightful point of view, but also they may be of aid to readers who will spot certain familiar patterns of behaviour within these case studies, and therefore possible reasons for the behaviour, and ways to resolve it.
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147 of 155 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
A good barometer to how your relationship is going is to look at how your love life is now compared to when you first met? Acknowledging any relationship problem is the biggest step. This book will help you to look at problems and take stock of them. If you are committed to trying to make your relationship work this book will help by looking at the past to identify roots of problems and then gives good advice on how to handle change and how to communicate with your partner for both now and the future. I found this book to be a great reference and guide at a difficult time, however some of the exercises are based on you communicating reasonably well with your partner, you may be better to do these under the saftey net of counselling.
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23 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Genuinely practical and helpful 21 April 2008
This is a helpful and practical guide for couples in crisis, which, as Quilliam herself points out, is most likely ot be helpful in conjunction with, not instead of, Relate counselling.

The book moves through four clear sections from the initial recognition of problems, to an understanding of their causes, through a phase of change, to eventually maintaining the progress you have made in the relationship for the years to come.

Case histories of real couples, tasks, talking points and quizzes help you to practically implement the book's advice in your relationship as you go along. This book may be really useful both for individuals in a troubled relationship or for couples working together, as it explores past influences from life before the relationship, whihc may be affecting what is going on without you even realising it. In addition, most of the exercises are set out in order to be accessible either to individuals or to couples doing them together. In this regard the book is very flexible and user friendly - it does not just apply to one specific type of reader.

A particularly useful aspect of this book is Quilliam's insight into the flawed reality of everyday life. She frequently mentions reasons why particular exercises might not be useful at a certain time, and points out moments when doubts may start to creep back into the relationship even after a period of progress, so the book doesn't feel like a preachy manual and you don't feel like a failure if something doesn't work or you slip back a few chapters. Most helpfully in this vein, it offers a superb final section on how to maintain your improved relationship once you have successfully worked through your problems, including tips on how to cope with setbacks and life changes, so that unlike some relationship books which feel like sticking plasters, only temporarily concealing problems and not healing them, the lifeline continues long after the book has been read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Common-sense approach 29 Nov 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Easy to read and full of great, common-sense advice for building a stronger relationship. Would highly recommend it to anyone!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Helpful if you can ignore poor writing 2 Mar 2014
By fwain
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
We found the tasks in this book useful as they made us evaluate our relationship. However, I found the writing very irritating as the grammar is terrible, punctuation poor and words/letters missed out. I've never read a published text with so many mistakes. It's also a marketing tool for Relate counselling & repeatedly sings the praises of counsellors.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book 21 Oct 2012
Really easy to read and helped clarify why we act as we do to certain situations within a relationship. Delivery was very fast and the book was in good condition
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great if you're both committed to making it work 11 Jun 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Excellent book with some great plans and ideas. Sadly it didn't work for me but that was definitely not due to a lack of trying lots of different things... :-(
It doesn't really deal with trying to make something work when only one partner is willing to make an effort.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Published 8 days ago by clare richards
4.0 out of 5 stars Relate
Going through similar issues at the moment, could relate to some of the people and their problems and found some of the advice really useful
Published 3 months ago by Chrissy
4.0 out of 5 stars STILL READING IT
I think it a good book and hope they do too.
Published 9 months ago by egantol
2.0 out of 5 stars Didn't work
Bought in a moment of sheer desperation but didn't work so waste on money!! Could work for someone else though!!
Published 11 months ago by Martin
4.0 out of 5 stars Relate Guide To Staying Together: From Crisis to Deeper Commitment
Good little pocket sized book. I am a couples counsellor and will enjoy using it in session - will recommend it to clients.
Published 12 months ago by Pat
5.0 out of 5 stars Relate Staying together.
As I work as a couple counsellor I found this very informative
and also gave it to clients who also found it helpful. Read more
Published 12 months ago by mrs m. m. campbell
5.0 out of 5 stars relationship
really helpful what more can I say Amazon wants me to write more but it is a personal thing - but all the Relate guides are excellent
Published 13 months ago by richetal
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Insight into balanced communication
I bought this book after some recurring problems in my relationship.

The book is very informative, written almost like you are in a counseling session yourself. Read more
Published 23 months ago by S H
4.0 out of 5 stars Really helped me!!!
It might be because this is the first relationship guide book I have read, but I found it a really good eye opener in to relationships, so if you and your partner are having... Read more
Published on 8 Jan 2012 by Amazon Customer
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