Rekindling Desire
and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle .
Learn more
| |||||||||||||||
 Trade In this Item for up to £0.45
Get an extra £5 when you trade in books worth £10 or more until June 30, 2012. Trade in Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages for an Amazon.co.uk gift card of up to £0.45, which you can then spend on millions of items across the site. Trade-in values may vary (terms apply). Find more products eligible for trade-in.
|
Frequently Bought Together
Product details
|
More About the Authors
Discover books, learn about writers, and more.
Product Description
Review
This book brings hope and excitement as it gently unravels the mysteries and misunderstandings surrounding marital sex and helps couples-step-by-step-find the keys to their own secret garden. I highly recommend it.
Psychology Today
"...highlight[s] poignant stories of lost intimacy. Read it for a map of how to reunite with tender loving care."
Inside This Book
(Learn More)
First Sentence
THE NUMBER ONE sexual problem facing American couples is inhibited sexual desire. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
THE NUMBER ONE sexual problem facing American couples is inhibited sexual desire. Read the first page
Explore More
Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
Tags Customers Associate with This Product(What's this?)Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
|
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
30 of 30 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a practicing psychotherapist myself, I am well aware of the pain and frustration that men and women have when sex evaporates from their relationship. One partner in the relationship (typically the male, but certainly not always) seeks to persuade, coerce, control, badger, blackmail or even force the other to consent to having sex, while the other slowly shrinks into withdrawal. One partners' withdrawal is seen as a rejection by the other, creating the perfect environment for the growth of frustration, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, retaliation and eventual death of the relationship.
Couples that enter this ever tightening cycle of pressure -withdrawal-rejection -frustration and resentment frequently blame each other for the problems. And in a society where we're all supposed to be having sex 2-3 times a week in order to be "normal", the last thing we want to do is to ask for help. The internet (to which we can secretly turn for ideas and input) offers very little in the way of respectful, practical or helpful guidance. Having reviewed a number of books on the topic, Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-step Program to Help Low-sex and No-sex Marriages stands out among the crowd by offering a gentle approach to breaking this cycle, as well as encouraging the couple to go beyond merely recovering from their sexual problems, but to press on and create systems that seek to ensure such issues do not become problematic in the future.
While the authors do cover specific conditions (erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginismus, nonorgasmia etc), they have concentrated the book very much on the basic building blocks of the relationship itself - intimacy, personal responsibility, trust and effort. This is a wonderfully refreshing approach - most of us would prefer there to be a pill or potion or herbal remedy for what is predominantly an emotional problem. The authors cover the medical issues that can, sometimes, have an effect, but they leave the reader in no doubt that the greatest influence on sexual problems remains in the mind, and specifically in the relationship itself. Quoting from the book - "The way to rebuild desire is a one-two combination of taking personal responsibility for sexuality and being an intimate team. Trust that the spouse will make a good faith effort to deal with inhibitions, anxieties, and traps. Be open to renewed ways to connect physically and emotionally and build bridges to sexual desire."
I recommend this book to my clients, and we use its exercises as prompts for discussions. Psycho-sexual problems are complex, and the authors make no false promises about the books' ability to solve all ills - I join them in encouraging couples and individuals in seeking help from professionals wherever possible. But as a first step towards resolving no- or low-sex relationships, this is an excellent place to start.
Couples that enter this ever tightening cycle of pressure -withdrawal-rejection -frustration and resentment frequently blame each other for the problems. And in a society where we're all supposed to be having sex 2-3 times a week in order to be "normal", the last thing we want to do is to ask for help. The internet (to which we can secretly turn for ideas and input) offers very little in the way of respectful, practical or helpful guidance. Having reviewed a number of books on the topic, Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-step Program to Help Low-sex and No-sex Marriages stands out among the crowd by offering a gentle approach to breaking this cycle, as well as encouraging the couple to go beyond merely recovering from their sexual problems, but to press on and create systems that seek to ensure such issues do not become problematic in the future.
While the authors do cover specific conditions (erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginismus, nonorgasmia etc), they have concentrated the book very much on the basic building blocks of the relationship itself - intimacy, personal responsibility, trust and effort. This is a wonderfully refreshing approach - most of us would prefer there to be a pill or potion or herbal remedy for what is predominantly an emotional problem. The authors cover the medical issues that can, sometimes, have an effect, but they leave the reader in no doubt that the greatest influence on sexual problems remains in the mind, and specifically in the relationship itself. Quoting from the book - "The way to rebuild desire is a one-two combination of taking personal responsibility for sexuality and being an intimate team. Trust that the spouse will make a good faith effort to deal with inhibitions, anxieties, and traps. Be open to renewed ways to connect physically and emotionally and build bridges to sexual desire."
I recommend this book to my clients, and we use its exercises as prompts for discussions. Psycho-sexual problems are complex, and the authors make no false promises about the books' ability to solve all ills - I join them in encouraging couples and individuals in seeking help from professionals wherever possible. But as a first step towards resolving no- or low-sex relationships, this is an excellent place to start.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
25 reviews
80 of 82 people found the following review helpful
This is a wonderful couples book!
16 April 2004
Format:Paperback
I am a sex educator teaching in a Michigan college town. A graduate student told me about Rekindling Desire and how it helped both she and her partner have a much better sex life. I bought Rekindling Desire on her recommendation, read it, and now recommend it to couples of all ages. If a couple want to work on being an `intimate team'-a term that is creatively used in the book-to change their sexual life for the better, they'll find this book honest and clear, explaining lots of common sexuality concerns and making suggestions for how to move forward and solve problems. The book doesn't just cover sex, it really helps couples deepen their relationship and strengthen their intimacy.
The McCarthys' have written other good books about sex, and are known for their conversational, non-textbook way of writing. Since Barry McCarthy is a sex therapist, he understands real people and real people's problems. No time is wasted on blaming; instead there are understandable and doable steps outlining a path to change. Great information, clearly written. For people who want to work together realistically to bring out the best in themselves, this is a wonderful book.
94 of 98 people found the following review helpful
"A wonderful book"
3 Sep 2004
Format:Paperback
Finally, an empathetic, informative, non-judgmental approach to understanding and resolving what felt like an overwhelming problem. I was impressed that the book offered such kind, practical advice without assuming a clinical tone. It was clearly written and by following their suggested techniques, my husband and I are truly emerging as an "intimate team". Our thanks to the McCarthy's for their sensitive and sage advice. This book is not for those who wish to take a TV commercial pharmaceutical approach to their sexual issues; however, I would highly recommend it to couples who seek to understand and strengthen all aspects of their intimate relationship.
102 of 107 people found the following review helpful
A satisfied reader....
20 July 2003
Format:Paperback
What a surprise to see that the reader from Kalamazoo was disappointed with this book .... Au contraire, I thought the authors did an excellent job of laying out reasons for lack of marital bliss between the sheets, and then presenting great step-by-step strategies and techniques for effecting change.
There were many eye openers:
* Good sex in a marriage contributes 15-20% of marital vitality. Bad sex contributes 50-70% of marital malaise.
* Romantic love is inherently unstable usually ending before marriage or seldom lasting past the first year.
* Sexual desire is based on emotional and sexual intimacy NOT on romantic love or passionate sex.
* YOU are responsible for yourself as a sexual partner. It is NOT the job of the spouse to make you desirous or turn you on.
* Good intentions are not enough. You need a PLAN to enhance your sexual relationship. The most successful strategy is a gradual step-by-step process.
* The most powerful aphrodisiac is NOT an esoteric technique; it is an involved, aroused spouse......
The McCarthys did a fine job of differentiating "media hype" sex,(spontaneous,intense,nonverbal,passionate,perfect)from "real marital sex", (less than half of the time there is equal desire,arousal, orgasm and satisfaction).
I also enjoyed learning about the poisons for sexual desire. It was a jolt to discover that sexual desire is SO easy to kill.
I could go on about the merits of this book.... Suffice it to say; it was a great and informative read. I highly recommend it for all couples, but especially for those grappling with sexual concerns.
There were many eye openers:
* Good sex in a marriage contributes 15-20% of marital vitality. Bad sex contributes 50-70% of marital malaise.
* Romantic love is inherently unstable usually ending before marriage or seldom lasting past the first year.
* Sexual desire is based on emotional and sexual intimacy NOT on romantic love or passionate sex.
* YOU are responsible for yourself as a sexual partner. It is NOT the job of the spouse to make you desirous or turn you on.
* Good intentions are not enough. You need a PLAN to enhance your sexual relationship. The most successful strategy is a gradual step-by-step process.
* The most powerful aphrodisiac is NOT an esoteric technique; it is an involved, aroused spouse......
The McCarthys did a fine job of differentiating "media hype" sex,(spontaneous,intense,nonverbal,passionate,perfect)from "real marital sex", (less than half of the time there is equal desire,arousal, orgasm and satisfaction).
I also enjoyed learning about the poisons for sexual desire. It was a jolt to discover that sexual desire is SO easy to kill.
I could go on about the merits of this book.... Suffice it to say; it was a great and informative read. I highly recommend it for all couples, but especially for those grappling with sexual concerns.
Were these reviews helpful?
Let us know
Listmania!
Look for similar items by category
- Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Families & Parents > Marriage
- Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Psychology & Psychiatry > Applied Psychology > Counselling > Family Therapy
- Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Psychology & Psychiatry > Applied Psychology > Psychotherapy
- Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Psychology & Psychiatry > Specific Topics > Mental Health & Illness
- Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Psychology & Psychiatry > Specific Topics > Sexual Behaviour
- Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Relationships
- Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Self Help
Look for similar items by subject
Feedback
- Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
- I am the Author, and I want to comment on my book.
- I am the Publisher, and I want to comment on this book.
|
