Wormtail walked in on Lord Voldemort strugling with Nagini. When the Lord noticed Wormtail standing there he instantly stopped his struggle and turned red in the face, he then said to Wormtail 'could you be so kind and get me the lube?' Wormtail replied 'is your penis stuck in your snake again my lord?'
"Happy Valentine's Day" shouted Lockhart. "Why not get Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a love potion." At this Snape shot a stangely guilty look at Professor McGonagal who was gazing adoringly up at him.