The above statement, "connection is defenseless relating" is a statement on p.124 and summarizes the whole essence of the book. Very informative as the authors give case studies that are thorough examples of the point they want to make. They describe how each partner, although they crave for love, when they are given it, they do not see it or they reject it. It is what I would call "experiential" book: They reveal their own vulnerable side as a couple and they give exercises of working on ourselves. These exercises as well as all the book are of tremendous assistance in locating the barriers we put on ourselves to receive love and affection.
Since I 've read the book I am much more able to "locate" my own self-rejection patterns and those of my clients. As a family and couple therapist myself I feel grateful to H. Hendrix and H.Hunt for their contribution.