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Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends (Rebuilding Books; For Divorce and Beyond) Paperback – Feb 2000


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Paperback, Feb 2000
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Product details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Impact Publishers Inc.,U.S.; 3rd Revised edition edition (Feb 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 188623017X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1886230170
  • Product Dimensions: 1.9 x 15.9 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 963,229 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Synopsis

This revised and updated guide to relationships is built on more than two decades of research and practice, incorporating feedback and life experiences of many divorced/separated men and women.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 37 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 1 Jan 2004
Format: Paperback
I bought this book not realizing it was intended for divorce and I'm glad I hadn't as it's helped me enormously. I was not married but my partner moved out without any warning, completely out of the blue and has left my life in tatters. This book has shown me the stages to healing and starting again. I can promise that you will relate to the things that are written in the book! it's very uncanny how spot on it is. I'm only half way up the 'rebuilding' mountain but I dread to think where I would be if I hadn't had some support. Great for helping out when you've talked all your friends to death!!!
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Viktor Fougstedt on 27 Sep 2009
Format: Paperback
After one week of continuous panic when my spouse told me about her infidelity and that she, for lack of feelings toward me, was leaving me for another man, I decided something had to be done.

I found someone somewhere on the Internet who suggested this "Rebuilding". I took a chance and bought it.

What a life saver! Not only has it helped me understand all the feelings and internal processes I'm going through, it helped me understand what my spouse is going through, a probable reason why she left me (down to listing the very phrases she used when she dumped me- scary...), and helped me identify areas of my personality that need to be worked on - areas that make the pain so much worse if left as they are.

I'm still not through the rebuilding process, but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel, and thanks to the "Rebuilding" book it isn't the headlight of an approaching train, but the real opening to my new life. Through the entire process this far, whenever I felt lost in grief, anger, loneliness, denial, or any of the other stages, I have turned to Fishers incredible book for support, explanations, and suggestions of ways of using the pain in productive ways.

I've always been sceptical towards anybody speaking about the "inner child" or how our childhood influences everything, and though the "Rebuilding" book speaks quite a lot of these concepts, it is so light-strikingly accurate in describing what I feel, and the suggestions it gives are so very helpful that I cannot hold it against it.

I would recommend _anyone_ going through a separation or divorce to read this book. You can do it by yourself, but by reading "Rebuilding" it will be quicker, probably give better results, and you will make use of your pain instead of just letting it destroy you.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Lou on 19 May 2008
Format: Paperback
This book is an absolute must for anyone going through the trauma of a relationship breakdown - not only those who were married. It's written in such a straightforward & caring way - and you'll feel that Dr Fisher had written it just for you. It separates the various aspects of the emotional rollercoaster you feel you're travelling on and allows you to examine each of them separately, which enables you to understand and make sense of the turmoil.
In the depths of despair, when you feel there's nowhere to turn & there's no glimmer of hope anymore, this book throws you a lifeline.
This book is invaluable!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Natalie056 on 10 July 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I picked this book up after re-entering a deep depression phase 3 years after my husband left me. I felt hopeless and was very frustrated to be feeling so low and going through another round of pain and anguish years after the breakdown of the relationship. It may be a cliche, but it was extremely helpful to read the book and realise that my feelings were "normal" and experienced by others. There is very good, sensible advice and a number of illustrative examples of how people react (mentally / emotionally as well as in action) at various stages in the rebuilding process. It also provides perspectives from both the "dumpee" and the "dumper". Having read multiple books over the last few years to try to come to terms with my divorce, this has been one of the most helpful by far.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By oddstar on 6 April 2012
Format: Paperback
I bought this book almost one year after my sepration and I have found it an invaluable help. I am not one for self help books usually so I was sceptical to begin with, however, it is written in a very accessible but not patronisong style. It offers reassurance that the emotions and experiences you are dealing with are normal and it has a checklist at the end of each chapter which can also be useful. Some of the comments would appear to replicate almost exactly the conversations between my husband and myself before we separated. It is informative, confidently written and a great help!
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By Valerian on 10 Jan 2013
Format: Paperback
In 2011, I went through breakup hell. Being the lovely person she is, my best friend came across the original edition of this book in a charity shop and posted it to me. I cannot tell you how much of a guide and comfort it has been, even though my copy is decades old! I'm pretty sure I'll be keeping it for the rest of my life, just in case.

This 15-step process focusses on 15 different aspects of the post-breakup experience - including loneliness, sexuality, letting go, grief. In each area, it explores the specific emotions and sensations that people often feel after a breakup, and also helps you to examine what happened with your relationship. That gives you a kind of compass with which to understand yourself better and navigate your life most effectively.

The approach is gentle and kind, but real. And very importantly, it covers the perspective of both the 'dumper' and the 'dumpee'.

I presume that the newest edition is still pretty much the same as the original. Thank you Bruce Fisher, and I hope lots of other people benefit from it as much as I have.
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