Razorback [1984] [DVD]

There is so many horror movies around, and so many of them are bad, that it is very hard to find something that is really worth watching. Well, this is one of the few that make the list. The appeal of this movie is its originality - just think, what can be more terrifying for a human being that being eaten alive? Well, it is being eaten alive by a form of life that we consider mostly harmless, but low and disgusting - in a word, a pig.

But the real strong point is the whole visual aspect of the movie, really well polished by Russell Mulcahy (who was going soon after to direct "Highlander"). There is something really unusual and unsettling in the way this movie shows some banal things, like a sunset in the desert or some abandoned farm. This gives to this film a unique atmosphere.

All in all it is a rare original and smart horror movie - if you are in this kind of things, go and get it.

'Razorback', apart from 'Return of Captain Invincible' and maybe 'Performance', is likely the cultest film ever made. It's credentials are crackling: mad, bad killer pig, desert lunatics, animal rights protesters, camels, abattoirs, negligible special effects, arty direction, wallabies and a delicious ideal of senseless cruelty and insensitivity.
''Jaws' in the outback' just about sums it up, but with notable additions: it has two of the bestest, most grotesque villains ever portrayed on film. Benny and Dicko work at the extremely unpleasant Petpak Cannery, a big, clanking, kangaroo slaughterhouse, around which, much of 'Razorback's action occurs. They enjoy their work FAR too much, live in a cave underneath the plant and insist on 'mystery bags' for their nutritional essentials.
Into their environment bristles Carl Winters in a borrowed old banger, looking for his missing eco-journalist wife, Beth. Benny and Dicko know what happened to her but tell him porkies. He goes 'roo hunting with the rinds and is so enamoured with the proceedings, he vomits on their heads! Yet again, every-one's a critic.

After a WILD trippy walkabout, he begins to realise the ghastly truth - there's a giant pig making salami out of the locals. From there on it's a battle between the (happily vicious) titular giant gammon and the small band of good apples, loins girded and resolute; Carl, Jake Cullen, a local ham-hammerer who's grandson was smoked by the beast, and research scientist Sarah(played by lovely, died-MUCH-too-early, Arkie Whitely)- each with a very different point to prove.

Intellectually 'Razorback' doesn't exist and director Russell Mulcahy hogs the kudos for this; he deserves a medallion for relegating the ecology to a side issue, preferring to concentrate on cruel humour and breathtaking colourful cinematography. It's the correct combination. He's transformed an undistinguished script into a lean, stylish thriller, proving you CAN make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Acting is great, particularly David Argue as streaky Dicko - a squeal-voiced swine who gets off on his white, brothel-creeping trotters whenever there's trouble; and snorty Bill Kerr in the Cullen/Quint role; consumed with vengeance and obsessed with making the ultimate McRib.

You won't be boar-ed for a second with 'Razorback'. It's catalogue of hilarious atrocity will have you gasping one minute and chuckling the next. It's a blaise mixture of blood and gleeful vindictiveness (apart from an attack on Beth Winters just before she's killed, Benny and Dicko have no motive for their mischief - they simply delight in it. The running over of the injured Cullen's dog as she runs for help is particularly galling!).
'Gamulla' where the whole offal-sodden mess is set, is apparently aborigine for 'guts' - the locals know instinctively it's no truffle.
I'm surprised 'Razorback' wasn't chopped by the censors.

I've no doubt the rasher among Amazon reviewers will have herd about 'Razorback' and given it a roasting, but the proof of this spicy black pudding is in the long-term savouring. I was suspicious of films like this at one time, but I'm cured now.
It yells 'cult' from the rooftops. It's flash, loud, has great in-jokes and is reassuringly despondent about the state of the world.

And if any-ones thinking of turning vegetarian, it's a useful safe-guard. When you're driving past your local chipolata production unit, and you smell the fear and hear the screams of the terrified innocents awaiting their inevitable appointment with frenzied painful oblivion - you can think of 'Razorback' and I guarantee you won't feel so sympathetic.
Eat them before they eat you.

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The Cheapest Review Ever To Appear on Amazon.
Proudly posted 23 August 2008 (For posterity)
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I have been searching for this film now for nearly 2 years. Initially thinking that is should be easy to come by. Boy was i wrong, and little did I know this classic is now a collectors item.

This film is over 20 years old now, yet considering the graphics, story line, and fundermental "Suspense factor" it puts multi million pound films to shame.

In essence its about an oversized Razor Boar in the Australian Outback that causes total Chaos. It starts back in time when a yound baby gets killed whilst it tears through a house. A vengeful grandad then goes on a mission to nail the Boar - But does not succeed and subsequently gets nailed himself.
After many deaths, carnage, explosions, and (I'm not walking in the park alone moments) and an exceptionally good story line, I will be suprised if any like minded film fanatic will be dissapointed. Great music throughout also.
P.s. Do not be put off by how old the film is, I have seen worse graphics in the last 6 months on new releases.