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Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic [Paperback]

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
RRP: £11.43
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Book Description

1 July 2010

Newly revised, featuring the most up-to-date research, effective strategies, and real-life stories

The spirited child—often called "difficult" or "strong-willed"—possesses traits we value in adults yet find challenging in children. Research shows that spirited kids are wired to be "more"—by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. In this revised edition of the award-winning classic, voted one of the top twenty books for parents, Kurcinka provides vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint. Raising Your Spirited Child will help you:

  • understand your child's­—and your own—temperamental traits
  • discover the power of positive—rather than negative—labels
  • cope with the tantrums and power struggles when they do occur
  • plan for success with a simple four-step program
  • develop strategies for handling mealtimes, sibling rivalry, bedtimes, holidays, and school, among other situations

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Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic + 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child: The Breakthrough Program for Overcoming Your Child's Difficult Behavior
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Product details

  • Paperback: 496 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Revised edition (1 July 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060739665
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060739669
  • Product Dimensions: 13.5 x 2.8 x 20.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 4,462 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Review

"The book will prove to be a real lifesaver." --Louise Bates Ames, author and association director, Gessell Institute of Human "Through excellent examples and easy-to-read text, this book provides parents with a pathway to understanding their child's temperament and to a place where parents can balance the needs of their child's unique temperament with their own needs and those of their family." -- James Cameron, Ph.D., executive director, The Preventive Ounce, Berkeley, California

About the Author

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, M.A., is an award-winning educator in Minnesota's Early Childhood Family Education Program, and founder of the Spirited Child and Power Struggles workshops. She is the bestselling author of Sleepless in America and Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles, and she lives with her family in St. Paul, Minnesota.


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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cause, Effect and Practical Solutions! 27 Aug 2008
Format:Paperback
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka does an excellent job of providing good common sense answers to why children are spirited and practical ways of dealing with the behavior. Observation, analysis and then appropriate action are keys to dealing with this behavior.

For example, in one Section called CHECK SIMULATION Levels Kurcinka writes:

"I always tell parents in my classes that if they ever feel like they are the only parent in the world with a sensitive spirited child, they should drop everything and head for the largest, noisiest, most congested store in their area. There they will find spirited kids dropping like little bombs. Two down one isle. Three in aisle four--the candy shelf--and six in aisle seven--the toy department. At first glance it will appear that the explosions are triggered by a denial to buy a candy bar, a desire to push the cart, or some other insignificant issue. The real trigger, however, is hidden in the fluorescent lights, piped-in-music, flashing signs, colorful packages, and crush of people that create more stimulation than a sensitive child can endure, especially if his or her energy bank is low."

She goes on to write:
"As a parent of a spirited child, you have to become aware of stimulation cues and recognize the breaking point for your child. The level of stimulation that pushes her beyond her ability to cope."

Kurcinka also explores subjects such as introverted and extroverted children, how they recharge their batteries and how to handle them. Other subjects include: How to deal with tantrums, Getting along with other kids, Motivating kids to listen and much more.

Overall an exceptional book on looking at cause, effect and practical solutions for addressing spirited children. Highly recommended.

The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide To: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking
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33 of 34 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars so I AM normal!!! 30 Mar 2009
By Helen C
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Reading this book was like someone switching the light on! This explains so many things about why my wonderful and energetic child challenges me on every level. From the simple advice of re-labling (from stubborn to persistant, from impatient to excited....) to the amazing and effective advice on why I have been held prisoner between 7pm - 9pm every night for months while my son tries to cling to me incase I leave his bedside. Finally I am reassured that my little boy is normal and spirited - a wonderful word - and he DOES respond. He is not naughty, and I am NOT a bad parent! YAY! If you are wondering how other mothers cope while you are a bag of nervous exhaustion, PLEASE read this book!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very reassuring and great reference book. 26 Aug 2012
By JJ
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
My younger daughter has such a very different temperament to her older sister - the latter I realise is relatively easygoing and obliging, whilst the younger one is contrary, willful, stubborn, difficult, challenging and and... SPIRITED!

I was getting fed up with people (including the father) suggesting that I was pandering to her needs, treating her differently, letting her get away with things - it's true, perhaps I was, but i just knew that she couldn't be dealt with in the same way as my elder daughter, as she reacted so very differently to what seemed like such simple things, often ending in uncontrollable tears, or escalating screaming. I was at my wit's end with how to cope, but on a convoluted cyber path, i came across this book and i haven't looked further.

As soon as I received it, I read the book from cover to cover - it was like I had found a soulmate on this matter. The more I read, the more I found myself recognising behaviour and situations we had found ourselves in - it resonated more than anything I'd come across until then, and since then. It offered explanations, case studies and, importantly, possible solutions - not definitive answers, but things that could help. And how they have helped, from mealtimes to social behaviour, bedtimes to props, this book has helped us to crack so much of what was before such a mystery.

I found the section on Introvert vs Extrovert particularly enlightening, as it taught us not only that our spirited daughter is an introvert in terms of how she recharges her energy levels (ie.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic! 26 Jun 2014
Format:Paperback
Just reading the introduction and the comment '....what it was like to live with a child who could scream for forty-five minutes because his toast had been cut in triangles when he was expecting rectangles...' This in itself made me realise I'm not alone!! We have these incidents several times a day!! My daughter is only 2 but so much of what I've skimmed through this book having just received it, has made me feel so much better...including the tips on handling my own intensity! If you recognise your child as 'spirited' then BUY THIS NOW!! I wish I had bought it sooner...it might just save my sanity!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic 10 Feb 2013
By CEH
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a fantastic book. We have been struggling to cope with our sons behaviour since he was little and have tried so many different techniques over the years. This book makes you really think what your child might be feeling inside and then helps you plan strategies which will help them succeed. It includes a 'checklist' of temprements which highlights the types of things they may find difficult such as sensitivity to their environment, not being able to change activities, having too much energy. It then details how you can help them cope with these times hopefully without losing your own patience.
I have read many parenting books, some of which have been really good and worked well for my other children, but this is the first book which really seems to know how my child feels and the strategies are beginning to work already. I read the book in a day and began making changes immediately. It has certainly worked so far when other things haven't.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is Wonderful.
Really excellent book!! A great help for mums and dads who have 'Spirited Children". The advice is sound and constructive. Read more
Published 11 days ago by M. Crocker
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
great book, once you get past some of the anecdotes the ideas are great.
Published 2 months ago by Katherine Lloyd
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Very interesting.
Published 3 months ago by Mrs C Bradley
4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful
This book has given me many insights into how my child's temperament affects his reactions and behaviour. Read more
Published 4 months ago by karen mauer
5.0 out of 5 stars Great
Excellent book with clearly defined areas. I am a qucik reader but have chosen to take it in bitte sized portions as it is difficult to take everything in... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Emma
5.0 out of 5 stars Reassuring
I knew there was something different about my little boy from the day he was born, and I have been feeling guilty ever since (18 months). Read more
Published 5 months ago by JP
5.0 out of 5 stars It's like this book was written about my child!
I had a feeling that my little girl needed me to find a way of understanding her more, this book has allowed me to do that. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Paul Horton
5.0 out of 5 stars So grateful for the book from cover to cover
A bit long (over 400 pages) but worth the read from cover to cover.
Really reassuring to know about in-born temperament. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Celi
5.0 out of 5 stars We're the lucky ones!
This book is written in a lovely down to earth style and is jammed with quality non patronising advice and support! Read more
Published 8 months ago by Carol buchanan
5.0 out of 5 stars informative
I have been reading this book for ages and it seems I am still only half way through, so you definitely get your money worth where quantity is concerned. Read more
Published 8 months ago by laugh out loud
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