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Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves [Paperback]

Naomi Aldort
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
Price: £10.86 & FREE Delivery in the UK. Details
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Book Description

2 Jan 2006
Every parent would happily give up ever scolding, punishing or
threatening if she only knew how to ensure that her toddler/child/teen
would thrive and act responsibly without such painful measures. Raising Our
Children, Raising Ourselves is the answer to this universal wish. It is not
about gentle ways to control a child, but about a way of being and of
understanding a child so she/he can be the best of herself, not because she
fears you, but because she wants to, of her own free will.
"Aldort's book should be on the must read list of all Moms and Dads. This
book could carry a subtitle: "Saving the Emotional Lives of Our Children
and The Future of Humanity.""

- James Prescott, Ph.D. Institute of Humanistic Science

"Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves operates on the radical premise
that neither child nor parent must dominate; it is for those who want to
give up scolding, threatening and punishing. Her SALVE "formula" alone is
worth the price of the book." - Peggy O'Mara Editor and Publisher of

"Every once in awhile, a writer comes along who is comfortable speaking the
truth, no matter how much it might challenge us or make us uncomfortable.
Naomi Aldort is one of those people. In Raising Our Children, Raising
Ourselves, Naomi Aldort takes the struggle out of parenting and replaces
controlling and shaping style of parenting with one that values, trusts and
nurtures children's innate abilities and autonomy."

- Wendy Priesnitz Editor of Life Learning magazine, author of School Free
and Challenging Assumptions in Education

"In this stunning insight into human nature, Naomi Aldort opens a window
into harmonious family living. This book should to be widely read and not
just by parents but by every being who strives for a more peaceful world."

- Veronika Robinson, Editor of The Mother magazine, UK

Frequently Bought Together

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves + Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason + Playful Parenting
Price For All Three: £27.64

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Product details

  • Paperback: 250 pages
  • Publisher: Book Publishers Network (2 Jan 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1887542329
  • ISBN-13: 978-1887542326
  • Product Dimensions: 23 x 15.4 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 37,142 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
54 of 55 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars BECOME THE PARENT YOU WISH TO BE 6 July 2006
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is unlike other parenting books and much more effective. I have read good advice before, but couldn't change my habits. This book gives the tools of personal growth that make it possible to be the loving mother that I really want to be. This is not esoteric philosophizing; it is useful advice with a five-step approach that is eminently doable. Each step is illustrated with story after story about parents who discover, or rediscover, the power of love as they replace controlling parenting techniques with gentle nurturing.

In applying Ms. Aldort's suggestions myself, I have found that my listening and communication skills are improving and I am definitely more mindful, more empathetic, and more flexible as a parent. Happily, my children have noticed this change and, even more happily, have emulated it in their relationships with each other, with their father, with me, and with friends. A little positive parenting goes a long way!!

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a must-read, must-have book for parents who are trying to break a personal or cultural cycle of authoritarianism and start becoming the mothers and fathers they wish to be.
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Useful and important but sometimes impractical 6 April 2010
I enjoyed this book, I found it challenging and provocative, and also very inspiring. The SALVE formula is extremely useful and a daily used tool.

However, the examples didn't always ring true to me, and also some of the advice given was very impractical, if a parent of more than one child you're often pulled in four or five different directions and there are times I literally cant just stop and sit because one of them is having a tantrum, motherhood is a balancing act and there are many peoples needs to consider.

I would definitely recommend looking for Naomi Aldort's videos on youtube they're a handy summation of the book and in some ways clearer.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Let's talk innovation 9 Nov 2011
By Deonne
If asked to recommend ONE book on the subject of parenting, the answer is always Aldort's. We read this book when our child was 10 months old and it radically changed how we parent, and for me, how I see myself (as a parent, as a partner, as myself--once, too, a child...). Freedom from past conditioning, freedom to parent outside culture's boxes, freedom to live and be with children in relationships forged with--no, not discipline, but mutual respect: You incur the potential for all of this, when you read this book.

I first came across Aldort in an online article on the subject of what to do when one child hurts another. After 5 years of University teacher-training pedagogy, her answer blew me away because it was the exact opposite of anything I'd read: As quickly and immediately as possible, give love to and spend time with the aggressor. Once the one who is hurt is attended to for injury, take some concentrated time to meet and validate the one who has pushed/hit/bit. In her words from another article: "Meeting the child's needs for closeness, affection and human connection are at the heart of preventing all types of aggression and emotional difficulties." (When Toddlers Bite, [...]. Aldort's book is pure gold on the subject of meeting children's emotional needs. No one else has laid this out so clearly. Her book is separated into five main categories: how children experience love, freedom of self-expession, autonomy and power, emotional safety, and self-esteem. Whether or not you are a parent, this book will meet it's own proclaimed agenda by helping you to raise yourself on all five of these levels.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What a wonderful book 19 Nov 2006
I have been exploring ways of working better with my 3yo since reading an Alfie Kohn book - and this is the answer to my prayers as it gives really practical advice about how to improve your relationship with your child so avoiding tantrums, power struggles etc. Its really helping so much
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32 of 35 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Our world needs this book - QUICK! 7 Mar 2007
This is the best parenting book I've found - a great leap from the many modern parenting books out there. In fact, I'd say it is the only parenting book you will ever need! I am ordering many copies and actively distributing to everyone I know.

Finally, a book that spells out with crystal clarity that yes, you can respect and trust your children fully, and love them unconditionally, without any "ifs" and "buts".

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves provides the tools for being always kind and loving in our day-to-day interactions with our children, and illustrates the guidance via eloquent real-life examples. These tools are easy to remember and put to practice, and they actually work. This book has transformed my relationship with my 10-month old, giving me permission to fully love her the way I always felt - without holding back ANYTHING! Quite a liberating shift. The guidance carries all the way from infancy through the teen years, and I am so grateful that I stumbled upon it while she is still little!

The transformative effect of the book goes way beyond parenting, as both the title, and the subtitle proposed by James Prescott on the cover ('Saving the emotional lives of our children and the future of humanity'), suggest. It lays out a readily available path to self-healing and self-realization through our relationship with our children (as well as with other people): simply by starting to examine how we respond to others a little more closely. In my humble opinion, this is one of the most important books ever written, period.

I have a wish. I grew up in France and I CANNOT WAIT to see the book translated in other languages, and start infusing its wisdom and compassion to non-English readers also. Any European publisher out there interested in making a difference? Call Naomi today, you'll do yourself and the world a favor. Our world needs this book. QUICK!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars good but not helpful.
It's a really good book but honestly a little bit guilt inducing. Unless you have no children/tiny babies you will probably have done something wrong and deeply scarring. Read more
Published 14 days ago by puppetsal
5.0 out of 5 stars highly recommended where all the other theories have failed
This book gives you a totally different prospective of the parenting theories , highly recommended where all the other theories have failed
Published 24 days ago by serena
5.0 out of 5 stars OMG!
Heart breaking in a way that heals. Not only has it improved my parenting skills exponentially but has helped me understand and forgive my parents for all of their mistakes. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Alex McKinney
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all new parents
Brilliant! I wish someone gave me a copy when my children were young. Nevermind my grand children will benefit.
Thank you Naomi Aldort for thid wondeful gift.
Published 11 months ago by ghislaine picchio
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful
Taken me a while to get into this, but now finding it full of valuable advice. Would reccommend, though you need to really absorb it - lots of food for thought.
Published 12 months ago by A. Davis
5.0 out of 5 stars A book to which I return over and over again
This book is mind opening. I reread it several times and lend it to many people so far. It teaches what is our true role with our children.
Published 16 months ago by Ellen
5.0 out of 5 stars This should be thought at schools!
I don't have children yet, but I have found the book refreshing and eye-opening. It helped me to understand and deal with some issues that kept creeping up from the past. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Sirraell
5.0 out of 5 stars great book
very helpful, wise and child centred!
many good sound advices on how to
handle challenging situations.
I am re-reading it as it helped so much!
Published 19 months ago by belkis
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book, worth reading if you're a parent.
Book was recommended to me online and this was the best price. Plus very quickly dispatched and was well packaged.
Published 19 months ago by Miss C. L. Graves
5.0 out of 5 stars great book!
'Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves' by Naomi Aldort is a really great book! One can learn a lot :) :)
Published 19 months ago by Bozena
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