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Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves Paperback – 2 Jan 2006


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Product details

  • Paperback: 250 pages
  • Publisher: Book Publishers Network (2 Jan 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1887542329
  • ISBN-13: 978-1887542326
  • Product Dimensions: 15.4 x 1.8 x 23 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 54,817 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

54 of 55 people found the following review helpful By Shari Maser on 6 July 2006
Format: Paperback
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is unlike other parenting books and much more effective. I have read good advice before, but couldn't change my habits. This book gives the tools of personal growth that make it possible to be the loving mother that I really want to be. This is not esoteric philosophizing; it is useful advice with a five-step approach that is eminently doable. Each step is illustrated with story after story about parents who discover, or rediscover, the power of love as they replace controlling parenting techniques with gentle nurturing.

In applying Ms. Aldort's suggestions myself, I have found that my listening and communication skills are improving and I am definitely more mindful, more empathetic, and more flexible as a parent. Happily, my children have noticed this change and, even more happily, have emulated it in their relationships with each other, with their father, with me, and with friends. A little positive parenting goes a long way!!

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a must-read, must-have book for parents who are trying to break a personal or cultural cycle of authoritarianism and start becoming the mothers and fathers they wish to be.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Deonne on 9 Nov 2011
Format: Paperback
If asked to recommend ONE book on the subject of parenting, the answer is always Aldort's. We read this book when our child was 10 months old and it radically changed how we parent, and for me, how I see myself (as a parent, as a partner, as myself--once, too, a child...). Freedom from past conditioning, freedom to parent outside culture's boxes, freedom to live and be with children in relationships forged with--no, not discipline, but mutual respect: You incur the potential for all of this, when you read this book.

I first came across Aldort in an online article on the subject of what to do when one child hurts another. After 5 years of University teacher-training pedagogy, her answer blew me away because it was the exact opposite of anything I'd read: As quickly and immediately as possible, give love to and spend time with the aggressor. Once the one who is hurt is attended to for injury, take some concentrated time to meet and validate the one who has pushed/hit/bit. In her words from another article: "Meeting the child's needs for closeness, affection and human connection are at the heart of preventing all types of aggression and emotional difficulties." (When Toddlers Bite, [...]. Aldort's book is pure gold on the subject of meeting children's emotional needs. No one else has laid this out so clearly. Her book is separated into five main categories: how children experience love, freedom of self-expession, autonomy and power, emotional safety, and self-esteem. Whether or not you are a parent, this book will meet it's own proclaimed agenda by helping you to raise yourself on all five of these levels.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful By venusintweeds on 6 April 2010
Format: Paperback
I enjoyed this book, I found it challenging and provocative, and also very inspiring. The SALVE formula is extremely useful and a daily used tool.

However, the examples didn't always ring true to me, and also some of the advice given was very impractical, if a parent of more than one child you're often pulled in four or five different directions and there are times I literally cant just stop and sit because one of them is having a tantrum, motherhood is a balancing act and there are many peoples needs to consider.

I would definitely recommend looking for Naomi Aldort's videos on youtube they're a handy summation of the book and in some ways clearer.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Sandy Page on 7 Sep 2009
Format: Paperback
I often find books that help but sometimes I come across a gem that is exactly what I was looking for. Often we know we are looking for something but don't know what that is until we find it.
This book is just that!
A friend lent me this book and it is thanks to wonderful people like her that I keep inspired.
I have a 20 month old boy who is very strong minded and adventurous. He strikes me as being fearless and seldom gives me the impression he really needs his mother or any "advice". It has never worked to impose ourselves on him and approaching the terrible twos I feared we needed to find a strategy to anchor to. I have found a lot more in this book than I could ever have hoped for, so wichever your childs charachter you will learn a great deal about what they are really going through.
Children have minds that work just like adults and if we teach them from a young age how to use them we will gain their respect their trust and set them up a gread deal better for adapting to adult life than if we impose our preconceived rules. Kids are clever and parents are afraid of this in case they make our lives difficult, so why did we have children in the first place?
This book will help you to validate your childs responses to life, teach them to understand their real emotions and deal with their upsets in life. You will learn about human psychology in a very simple and practical way. The book is full of every day situations we can all relate to, wether your child is 1 or 14 years old. you will be able to relate to this "neutral" way of giving total support. There is no imposition of yourself in this book, you give love and support through being there and putting your arm out when they need it and not by overdramatising and swamping your child.
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