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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Paperback – 24 Aug 1998

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Product details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Prentice Hall & IBD (24 Aug. 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0684838656
  • ISBN-13: 978-0684838656
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.5 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 17,473 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Title: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child <>Binding: Paperback <>Author: JohnM.Gottman <>Publisher: Simon&Schuster

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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DIANE IS ALREADY LATE FOR WORK AS SHE TRIES TO COAX three-year-old Joshua into his jacket so she can take him to daycare. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By R. Taylor on 28 May 2009
Format: Paperback
This book helped me look honestly at my behaviour in handling my children's feelings and gave good examples in separating behaviour from feelings when managing children's issues and concerns. Takes you through the good practice in raising emotionally intelligent children in real life situations. Only detractors would be stereotypical in parts and Americanised language, neither of which really affected the impact of the book. A good read and a book I will keep referring back to.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 19 Jun. 1999
Format: Paperback
extremely interesting (and not only for parents but anyone who wants to know more about their childhoods as well) and helpful book about the nature of interaction with our children, the daily exchanges and the big picture, how different parenting styles impact your child's perceptions, behaviors and self esteem from an early age. good methologies for forging healthy emotional exchanges, well-organized and written, this one is a gem
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Sonja on 14 Dec. 2010
Format: Paperback
This is by far the best book on emotional inteligence I've read so far. And a most helpful parenting guide I know. I think I finaly have the clue for understanding and managing my children.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 128 reviews
238 of 242 people found the following review helpful
One of the best parenting books! 23 April 2002
By Andreas Fellner - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
You can find a lot of books about parenting, but many of them are just pop psychology, the solitary opinion of the author.
Gottman is definitely not one of them. He is known as one of the leading psychologists in the area of family and marriage psychology. This book presents the essence of his research findings about raising emotionally intelligent children.
His advise is surprisingly easy and is based on a 5 step model:
1. Be aware of your child's emotion
2. See your child's emotions as an opportunity to be close together
3. Actively listen to your child and validate the feelings
4. Help your child to verbalize his feelings
5. Help your child solve problems, while setting clear limits
Gottman clearly explains how you can implement this 5-step-model in daily life and what to do when problems arise. His real life examples make reading really fun.
All in all, an excellent parenting book! As a supplement, I can also recommend the book by M. Seligman: "The optimistic child"
212 of 216 people found the following review helpful
Excellent parenting book 1 Aug. 2001
By Greg Bishop, Ph.D. - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
I am a child/family psychologist and don't like most parenting books for my clients because they present theories as facts without the research behind it. This is one of 3 books that I recommend because it is well-researched yet easy to read and comprehend. Gottman's work in the field of psychology is highly respected, and the research from which this book emanates is thorough and rigorous. Yet his format in the book is such that you can immediately begin to apply his "emotion-coaching" technique. If you are having difficulty coping with your child's emotional outbursts, read this book!
112 of 120 people found the following review helpful
Imagine if your own parents had read this book... 7 Jan. 2005
By Devilfish - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
There are many parenting books out there that are as controversial as they are popular. You use what you find helpful and ignore what doesn't fit in with your own personal parenting philosophy. I found most of Goleman's techniques in this book to be insightful and invaluable.

Too often, we may find ourselves giving in to venting our anger or frustration at our children for our own emotional benefit, forgetting that they are not adept at reading their own feelings much less yours. It is too easy to discount our little ones' cries as merely manipulative attempts to get what they want. (The author DOES recognize that children DO try to manipulate adults in this way and recommends not using emotion coaching in those instances.) This is a realistic, practical, and easily read book told from the perspective of a father who also relays helpful instances in his own life where he'd used emotion coaching.

One benchmark that I often use to judge parenting books are their philosophies on punishment, particularly time-outs. Goleman believes in the proper implementation of time-outs. They are to be consistent and respectful, not opportunities to emotionally berate or humiliate children. He believes that it is best used for children aged 3-8 and should last about a minute. You may want use Amazon's search-within-a-book feature and search for "time-out" to get a better idea.

The author sites studies showing that emotional intelligence is linked to higher reading and math IQ's, social competence, and physical health. We all wish the best for our children, and reading this book will help you to be the best parent you can be. More than that, you've probably noticed, that our children have a lot more benefits available to them than we did (baby care gadgets, nutritional food, innovative schooling, etc.) and yet, if I were to choose one benefit of our present to have as a child, I would have wished that my own parents had read this book. How wonderful that would have been!
35 of 37 people found the following review helpful
teaching kids about emotions 3 Jan. 2007
By jane austen - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book helps parents understand how their personal philosophy about their own emotions influences what and how they teach their children about emotions, such as how to recognize, express, and control anger. The book provides a simple self-test to help parents understand what their philosopy is and how it impacts interactions with their children. For example, some parents do not permit their children to express anger at them while others are accepting of their children being openly angry with them. There are very different long-range implications of these different philosophies and parenting styles. This book helps parents to assess their own philosophy and consider changes in their parenting style.
41 of 45 people found the following review helpful
Fantastic and practical parenting resource 4 Mar. 2005
By W. McKelvie - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is a practical and well-presented guide to recognizing, validating, and helping your child deal with emotions.

Gottman starts out with his rationale for Emotion Coaching, helps the parent assess their current parenting style, discusses the Key Steps and strategies for emotion coaching, and devotes an entire chapter to Marriage, Divorce, and Your Child's Emotional Health. At the end of the book he includes an age range breakdown of specific emotions to expect from your child (anxiety separation, fear of the dark, fear of death, adolescent separation...)

In the Marriage chapter, Gottman also includes a short summary of his renowned work in the study of relationships. He applies emotion coaching to avoiding the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that end marriage: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

This book made me reevaluate the way I interact not just with my child, but my husband, and friends as well. I found it very enlightening.
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