« Queen Camilla » by Sue Townsend 2006 Penguin Books, UK
Sue Townsend is a very well-established comic novelist, and the light-hearted humour throughout « Queen Camilla » provides a welcome relief from the heavy- handed news reports that can make us heavy-hearted about the Royal Family on a daily basis. I read this book in the week between Prince Harry's well-delivered tribute at the Guard's Chapel on the Friday and his shambolic hung-over performance at Heathrow Airport the following Thursday. Townsend seems to have Harry's number exactly, and though he rarely appears in the novel at all, he was at one point suspected by Charles of having lobbed a brick tied round with a handwritten note saying « Yourl never be queen ». Near the end of the book Harry gets a 15-year-old neighbour on the council estate pregnant and agrees to marry her. Each member of the Royal Family receives piercing and perceptive treatment from Townsend, though she seems kindest about William - the only one in the family to take a real job and come home with callousses on his hands - and the Queen, whom everyone finds kind and caring, if a bit common in her tastes and interests, and who abdicates near the end.
In « Queen Camilla », the monarchy has been abolished and the Royal Family has been sent to live in an exclusion zone, along with « the criminal, the antisocial, the inadequate, the feckless, the agitators, the disgraced professionals, the stupid, the drug-addicted and the morbidly obese » - about 40% of the population. Tagged and watched on closed-circuit television, privacy is a thing of the past. Townsend touches all the bases, portraying government leaders and their public-private enterprise partners with the same astute and amusing good taste she brings to the Family. And let us not forget her portrayal of Vulcan, the hugely expensive national computer that knows all about our various aliments, our shopping history, our reading matter and everything else, trusted implicitly by the people but known by the police to be almost entirely unreliable. The `plot' such as it is, centres on the Prime Minister's attempt to lose the election by banning dogs, and therefore dogs - and their ability to talk to one another - play an important part in this story, as does Camilla's apparent inability to grasp the significance of her situation.
« Queen Camilla » is a fast and amusing read, which prompted a few gentle chuckles and touched a soft spot for our much beleagured Royal Family and our long-suffering electorate. And what the book speaks to, perhaps more than anything else, is the tremendous luxury of our freedoms, that such a book can be written and enjoyed, and no one is threatened, imprisoned, stoned or beheaded. Even in its mocking of our traditions, « Queen Camilla » is a celebration of all that we hold dear .