My Body is Private (Albert Whitman Prairie Books) [Paperback]

The book respects readers' intelligence by using the proper terminology for genitalia and the generic term "bottom" to mean the buttocks. I like that. Too many works are weakened by silly euphemistic or babyish names for the anatomy that do nobody any real service. This book is a good teaching tool and an excellent forum for discussion of a serious topic. It is one that all ages would find beneficial.

Another reviewer made the good point that boys also can be sexually abused and this is never addressed in this book. I agree that this already excellent work would have been even more effective had the discussion included a brother as part of the discussion. While it is only natural to want to preserve a child's innocence, it is still very vital to empower children with information about what constitutes desired (non-sexual) and "good" touches and what doesn't. This in turn will help families build a more safety-savvy world.

This book does an excellent job of defining "privacy" replete with examples, e.g. "private parts" are the parts of one's body that is generally covered by their underwear or a bathing suit. The girl featured in the story declares that nobody can touch her private parts in ways she does not want and then goes on to describe other kinds of touching she doesn't like, such as sitting on her uncle's lap. On the flip side, "good touches" are highlighted, such as loving cuddles and dancing and an arm around the shoulder. The distinction could not be more clear and for that I salute this book!

Gray areas such as tickling are explored. Tickling can be fun, but it can also go too far where the one being tickled is not enjoying it. That is another example of when to demand that a certain "touch" or tactile activity be stopped. The children are well within their rights to do so at any time. Hugs and kisses are described as generally being welcome and acceptable, but children should not be forced to kiss or endure being kissed by someone who makes them feel uncomfortable.

The literary mother is very wise; she makes it plain to her daughter that it is the child's feelings that are paramount and not to worry about hurting somebody's feelings if she tells them not to touch her in ways she does not like. Genital touching including being forced to touch someone else's private parts is discussed; the girl is also told not to take photographs of somebody's private parts or willingly allow anyone to photograph hers. My favorite part was when the mother tells her daughter that the predator is NOT always a stranger and can be someone the child knows very well, including a relative. That point CANNOT be stressed enough. The child is told to try to escape as soon as possible and tell an adult she trusts what happened.

Sadly, there is a dearth of stories like this for boys as boys also can be the recipients of sexual abuse. Since the girl has a brother, one wonders why he was not included in this safety talk since part of the discussion involved him. His safety has to be considered as well. Another good point is made by having the mother tell her daughter that it is never acceptable for "other children" as opposed to "older children" because that could be misleading. Those few things notwithstanding, I feel this is one of the best books I've encountered on this very serious subject.

I also recommend Sandy Kleven's "The Right Touch: A Read Aloud to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse," Cornelia Spelman's "Your Body Belongs to You" which is ideal for the preschool set on up and Peter Alsop's collection "Songs on Sex & Sexuality," most particularly the song, "My Body." All of these works address a very serious issue in gentle, direct and intelligence complimenting ways and are geared specifically for families.