If you thought being a teenage vampire was all sparkles and magic rings, you were wrong. Nigel Mullet has once again written a diary full of honest ramblings and self-pitying paragraphs usually reserved for whiny children who don't get what they want. Though, to be fair, he does have quite a lot to moan about: his girlfriend, Chloe, is acting weird, an old man arrives saying he's his grandfather, and there's a new boy in town who's a bit, well, hairy. Y'know... the howling at the moon kind of hairy!
So, to deal with all this teen angst that he's really far too old and dead to be dealing with, Nigel does the only thing he can: writes a paranormal romance book. No, really. Obviously it's not very romantic - this is Nigel we're talking about here, the least scary vampire in the history of vampires. He gives it a good go though, and the results are hilariously cringeworthy. No wonder it never got published...
As if all that isn't enough to make Nigel wish he could stake himself, Chloe is suddenly acting even stranger than usual, and it's after she's been hanging around with hairy Jason (who actually happens to be quite nice and reasonable when he's not eating raw meat and running along the moors on all fours). Chloe's experiencing the biggest change of her life, and who better to help her through it than Nigel the Wimpy Vampire?
This series of vampire parodies is one of the funniest I've ever read. It makes fun of everything undead-related, and has some brilliant similarities with The Twilight Saga. Nigel and Jason are great (but very weedy) homages to Edward and Jacob, and I think even Stephenie Meyer herself would be a bit proud. I laugh so much when I'm reading these books, and I hope that's what Tim Collins was going for when he sat down to write them. If you want a paranormal LOL-fest, this is the series for you!