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Preventing Sibling Rivalry: Six Strategies to Build a Jealousy-Free Home [Hardcover]

Sybil Hart


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Book Description

1 Jan 2001
If you are like most parents, you cross your fingers hoping and praying that little Max will fall head over heels in love with new baby Ruby. But did you know there are practical steps that you can take to foster healthy, nurturing sibling bonds prior to baby Ruby's arrival on the scene? Dr. Sybil Hart says that you can do much more than wait nervously and wish for your children to love one another. Yes, temperament and luck have something to do with the constant squabbling that tears many households apart, but there's actually a burgeoning science of infant emotions that helps explain the connection between jealousy and friendship. Dr Hart, a leading expert in this area of child development, draws upon her landmark emotion research and her experience as a child therapist to show how parents can help their very young children interact in positive ways.

In fact, parents don't need to wait for the next child to arrive on the scene to begin addressing sibling conflict. According to Dr. Hart and growing numbers of parenting experts, the key to happy and emotionally well-balanced sibling relationships depends on how you and your child are getting along right now. In other words, it pays to plan ahead.

A comprehensive, practical, and first-ever guide to exploring jealousy in infants, "Preventing Sibling Rivalry" shows how some conventional childrearing advice like wide sibling spacing can be detrimental, and teaches you strategies for setting up a jealousy-free home, including:

How to measure an infant's jealousy temperament with an easy-to-use test How to distinguish between normal and unhealthy jealousyWhy the arrival of a new baby deepens the father's bond with olderchildrenWhy spacing siblings only two years apart fosters family cohesivenessHow cultivating early social skills like eye-contact, smiling, laughter, and physical affection promotes secure mother-infant attachment and the foundation for sibling bonds

"Preventing Sibling Rivalry" offers a program to fit every family. Perfect for on-the-spot advice as well as for parents who wish to plan ahead, this invaluable guide will help mothers and fathers create healthier, happier sibling and parent relationships. Whether a couple has planned the next birth, is surprised by the news of a second child on the way, or already has three or four at home, this is the must-have for every parent bringing a new child into the world.



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Jealous (adjective). Fearful or way of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

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Amazon.com: 2.0 out of 5 stars  4 reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing 11 May 2001
By Eileen - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
I was very excited to find a book that claimed to have six strategies for dealing with sibling rivalry. Though the book does contain many interesting research studies, I found the strategies, with one exception, to be a disappointment. ... main contention ... is that the best way to prevent sibling rivalry is to space children close together. She states that though this requires more work in the early years, the situation forces spouses to cooperate, and ultimately produces children who will have more in common because they are so close in age, thus leading to less rivalry. Perhaps this worked for her. But there are many families out there that would beg to differ. Having children closely spaced may result in better cooperation between spouses, but it also may put a strain on the marriage. Divorce is quite common when there are young children in the home, precisely because of the stress encountered when raising them. The children may have more in common because they are close in age, but then again they may be two disparate personalities who do not get along. On the other hand, children who are farther apart in age may get along just fine. .... The strategies themselves were of little use to someone who already has children who are older than one year of age. They rely on determining an infant's jealousy level at the age of one year, and from that deciding when to have your next child. The sixth strategy, finding what motivates the conflict, and spending time with your children when they are not in conflict is certainly effective.
11 of 15 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for planning a second child 24 July 2001
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Sybil Hart's book was a reassurance to me as I contemplate defying other experts' recommendations about spacing children three years apart. She recommends close child spacing and gives reasons for her alternate viewpoint, and also includes a test you can perform on your 12 month old to get an idea of how jealous he or she is likely to be, even if the new baby is some time away. She also lists types of conflict between siblings and offers suggestions for handling them. I felt the book's greatest strength was the support it gave me in deciding to have a second child soon. My only negative thought about the book was that much of it did seem to be her opinion, based on research combined with conjecture. Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone struggling with the problem of when to have a second child.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Don't buy this! 23 Mar 2007
By Georgiamom - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Thank goodness I just checked this book out of the library and didn't buy it! This book barely provides one helpful strategy, and instead is more about theories and case studies. In the foreward she mentions that this book is best read BEFORE you have a second child. Well, I have a feeling most people are not that proactive, and instead start looking for help once their kids start fighting and really struggling with sibling rivalry. Skip this book and find another one!
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