Portrait Of A Marriage: Vita Sackville-West and Harold Nicolson [Paperback]

The centre of the book and its raison d'etre is Vita Sackville-West's own extraordinary memoire about her life so far including her catalytic 3 year affair with Violet Trefusis. The affair came very close to wrecking her life with her husband, Harold Nicolson, who she loved deeply but no longer felt sexual passion for. Harold threatened to leave Vita and it was only under such pressure - on both sides of the affair - that it was ended. The memoire, written in 1920-21, and discovered by Nigel in 1962 begged a narrative and an afterword; Nigel provided this and presented an eloquent, classic book which has never been out of print since it was published in 1973.

Whether this marriage is to be admired as much as Vita, Harold and Nigel felt it should be admired is for the reader to judge. What makes it most extraordinary is the homosexuality of Vita and Harold and the fact that their once discreet open marriage is now in the public domain. They would each be getting on for 120 years old today but they still seem so fresh that readers, whatever their sexual preferences are, might learn lessons (positive and negative) from them even today.

Towards the end of her life in 1961, Vita still felt a need to assure Harold of her devotion. She wrote (in a letter to Harold not included in 'Portrait') that she had been 'madly in love' with Violet but the affair was now 'passion completely spent'; she wrote 'the true love that has survived is mine for you, and yours for me.' She also gently rebuked Harold for not explaining his own homosexuality in the first place. 'It would have saved us a lot of trouble and misunderstanding. But I simply didn't know.' Harold's reply, if there was one, is not published.

The intimacy of Vita and Harold's relationship is contained in their voluminous correspondence. Harold's diary, Violet's letters and Vita's mother's diary are also key sources. All these were at Sissinghurst in the early 1970's. Nigel separates Vita's memoire into two chapters, draws from the other sources and adds his own voice and, to a lesser extent, that of his brother Benedict. Vita's relationship with Virginia Woolf is affectionately documented. The book created the legend of Vita and Harold who led compartmentalised lives, had multiple relationships, careers, published a tremendous number of books, created the Sissinghurst gardens and remained devoted to one another. It is a well written and well crafted tribute.

`Portrait' is, as it would be, slanted in favour of Vita and Harold. It is not the whole truth, it is not even a detailed portrait of a marriage but it is a portrait of two fascinating and productive people. Because of the scandal it caused, Nigel was excoriated by some for publishing this book and in essays written afterwards he would defend his decision and fill in some of the unpalatable gaps. But the gaps are justified in this labour of love because it is written from such a personal stand-point. This is a wonderful read and is well recommended.

Harold doesn't get a lot of space in this book. James Lees-Milne (long time friend and ex-lover) wrote the definitive biography but Norman Rose's recent biography is the easiest to get hold of today. Vita's and Violet's biographies, Harold's diaries and the correspondence are available on Amazon USA and UK - all allow for a more complete understanding of Vita's memoire and the portrait of this marraige.

Having read the first review, I was moved to write one myself, something I have not done before. This is a very interesting tale of sexuality in the days when it was (to say the very least) a taboo subject. The protaganists are members of the highest social elite of early 20th century England, and moved in the highest literary circle of their time. It consists of two chapters of a diary written by Vita Sackville-West, and two of commentary by her son, Nigel Nicolson. Read it. It's mind opening.

Having read a little of this book while visiting my cousin, I could not wait to buy my own copy to read more of this fascinating couple and their life in such a beautiful house and garden.