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Politically Correct Bedtime Stories [Hardcover]

James Finn Garner
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
RRP: 7.99
Price: 5.59 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
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Book Description

1 Sep 2011
James Finn Garner has taken the opportunity to rewrite classic stories for more enlightened times: from Snow White s relationship with seven vertically challenged men, Little Red Riding Hood, her grandma and the cross-dressing wolf who set up an alternative household based on mutual respect and cooperation to the Emperor who was not naked but was endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle. For the first time read the true story of what happened when the Ugly Duckling was judged on its personal merits and not on its physical appearance. At last, here is bedtime reading free from prejudice and discrimination to witches, giants, dwarves, goblins and fairies everywhere. You can remedy this cultural defect by reading Politically Correct Bedtime Stories and discovering what really happened when Jack climbed the beanstalk, when Cinderella went to the ball and when the wolf tried to blow down the house of the Three Little Pigs. For anyone brought up on sexist, racist, sizeist and ethnocentrist reading matter these stories have been purged of the influence of an insensitive cultural past to become fables for our times.

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Politically Correct Bedtime Stories + The ASBO Fairy Tales + Robin the Hoodie: An ASBO History of Britain
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Product details

  • Hardcover: 112 pages
  • Publisher: Souvenir Press Ltd; Expanded edition (1 Sep 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0285640410
  • ISBN-13: 978-0285640412
  • Product Dimensions: 1.5 x 12.7 x 18.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 158,815 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description


One of those works which cleave an author instantly to your heart… It is beautiful. It demolishes, in few but elegant words, a dozen kinds of silliness. --Libby Purves, The Times

Not only essential reading for adults of all ages, but also the wisest, funniest, most thoughtful thing yet written on the subject of PC. --The Observer

The definitive, non-exploitative, non-patriarchalist (dontcha hate doing that to the kids?) … collection of bedtime stories. --Daily Telegraph

About the Author

James Finn Garner is the descendant of dead white Europeans, is a writer and performer in Chicago.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
54 of 54 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
I first purchased this book years ago on a whim and made the mistake of reading it on the train home: the other passengers were extremely unnerved as I was in hysterics after the first page and could not stop sniggering throughout the whole journey. The book now has pride of place on my coffee table and most visitors who leafed through it ended up buying a copy themselves. Is there any better recommendation than that? Wether you read about Snowwhite and the vertically challenged men or about little red riding hood setting up a commune with the wolf and her grandmother, this book is something for both old and young (possibly with a light advantage towards the former). A must buy (and an ideal gift for anyone.
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars BRILLIANTLY FUNNY 6 Jan 2003
This book is for anyone who likes parodys or mocking the political systems. it is a 'value for money' book,as itwill have you laughing all the time (due to its humorous twists and phrases.) The book is composed of several 're-looks' at popular Fairy-Tales and Nursery Stories. I thoroughly recommend this book for everyone, as although it is based on Fairy Tales; its updated twists,endings and political humor makes it more adult- but keeping it light and not boring.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
When a bandwagon reaches the point that it is subject to satirical spoofs, it's a good indication that said bandwagon has traveled way to far. `Political correctness' is one such bandwagon, and this little book is a pretty good attempt at poking pins in its over-inflated rhetoric.

From The Emperor's New Clothes with disastrous consequences for our economically disadvantaged tailor to Chicken Little's (the name not being any attempt to classify said person as physically sized-disadvantaged) attempt to find a lawyer so she can sue whomever caused the sky to fall on her head causing her great emotional distress, the stories in this book will often bring a chuckle, and might cause one to reflect on the real world item the story is spoofing. The stories are modified from the traditional ones by more than just the insertion of `politically correct' language, as the endings are twisted into their own version of just how the politically correct version of the world would have things play out.

However, I'd recommend that this be read one story at time, with long days between stories, as they do become somewhat repetitive when read all at one gulp, losing some of their charm in the process. The insertion of the PC verbiage becomes expectable and not as funny, so that the occasional non-PC aside stands out, like his comment on the seven dwarves living arrangements (7 beds, 7 TV's, 7 stacks of dirty dishes) as possibly being the abode of a sloppy numerologist.

A fun little diversion, best when eaten in small bites.

--Reviewed by Patrick Shepherd (hyperpat)
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24 of 28 people found the following review helpful
By Kurt Messick HALL OF FAME
Bedtime stories are probably among the oldest forms of tale-telling there is in human history. Before epic poetry, before political speeches, before religious tales of awe, there were people sitting around campfires and living in caves, caring for their young, speaking soothing sounds to their young.
Bedtime stories were quickly discerned to be an excellent way in which to reinforce not only language skills, but culture and accepted morality, too.
So, why is it that fairy tales, the more-modern equivalent of these stories, became canonised and thus immutable by the likes of the Brothers Grimm, etc.? Just what does Hansel & Gretel or the Little Red Riding Hood mean for us today, beyond being good stories?
And, are they good stories? Should we teach children there are houses made of candy and cookies out in the woods? This is the kind of question addressed in this delightful little collection, Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
Now, before you get your knickers in a twist, realise that this is all in fun, but, as it is fun, highlights certain important points nonetheless. Political correctness can be stretched to the limits of absurdity, like almost anything carried to and beyond its logical limits. That is not to say that political correctness is all bad. But, we do approach a time when nothing can be said for fear of offending someone somewhere at some time.
James Finn Garner highlights this in his introduction, by saying if he has inadvertently displayed any sexist, racist, culturalist, nationalist, regionalist, ageist, lookist, ableist, sizeist, speciesist, intellectualist, socioeconomicist, ethnocentrist, phallocentrist, heteropatriarchalist, or other type of bias as yet unnamed, he apologizes and encourages your suggestions for rectification.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Sleep Better, Offending Nobody 11 Mar 2013
By John M. Ford TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Kindle Edition
"Once upon a time in the olden days, heavy-set middle-aged men would congregate in their elitist clubs, sit in overstuffed leather chairs, smoke air-choking cigars, and pitch story ideas and plots to each other." The resulting stories have been passed down to us as the mind-polluting bedtime tales used to warp the minds of our generation.

No need to continue this travesty. James Finn Garner has edited these stories with the ruthless, post-modern sensibility of a San Francisco school board. His diligence has midwifed the thirteen stories in this book.

The stories introduce the following inspiring role models:

The young person Red Riding Hood who set off to empower her grandmother with a basket of healthful snacks, even though said grandmother was perfectly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult.

The Emperor, who had been turned into a vain and wisdom-challenged tyrant by a lifetime of belief in the absolute legitimacy of the monarchy and in the inherent superiority of males, was sufficiently enlightened to endorse a clothing-optional lifestyle.

The three little pigs, who set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care, and affordable housing for everyone. Copyright notice: Despite any imagined similarities, these pigs are completely different from any pigs George Orwell may have disrespectfully written about.

The three codependent goats gruff. `Nuff said.

Three bears, who lived together in a nuclear family, even though the nuclear family has traditionally served to enslave womyn, instill a self-righteous moralism in its members, and imprint rigid notions of heterosexualist roles onto the next generation.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Just an amazing set of tales in good condition!
Published 1 month ago by likealittle
4.0 out of 5 stars A different fairy tale book
More entertainment for the parents than the child, especially grand parents who remember a time before "Pollical Correctness when mad!!!
Published 5 months ago by JERRI BASH
5.0 out of 5 stars totally love it, funny and right!
loved this, read it aloud to my sister and she laughed her ass off! the kids like it too and even giggle a bit even though i think its aimed at an older audience. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Kindle Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars A mirror to our political incorrectedness....
When I was a university student I heard about this book, however I lost track of it. Now that it came to me, I found the author's intended parody of modern times really enriching... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Alexei V. Lopez Enriquez
3.0 out of 5 stars Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
It was quite good, the stories were funny, but it was read too quickly didn't get much satisfaction from reading it
Published 7 months ago by Aisling Donoghue
3.0 out of 5 stars Amusing
Funny and novel for the first few stories but starts to wear thin by the end, not bad for 99p to pass some time
Published 8 months ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Quick and entertaining read!
Series of short stories are very funny. A great modern take on the traditional bedtime stories! Front cover makes the book look like a freebie from a Sunday newspaper but the gold... Read more
Published 8 months ago by jade
5.0 out of 5 stars great present
i ordered this for my brother for christmas and on flicking through it it is really funny and i think would entertain anyone who likes a sarcastic type of humor!
Published 8 months ago by elaine1705
5.0 out of 5 stars Politically correct bedtime stories
Great! A good and welcome twist on old stories. Tough girls who don`t have to be rescued by a prince!
Published 8 months ago by Hillside
5.0 out of 5 stars Bang tidy
This was a lighthearted purchase made for a bit of a giggle. My son read it through on the day of purchase, laugh aloud and quoting the text to us all. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Varan (da man) Komodsky
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