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Police, Crime & 999: The True Story of a Front Line Officer [Paperback]

John Donoghue
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (473 customer reviews)
RRP: 9.99
Price: 8.29 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
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Book Description

1 Aug 2011
Ever wondered what really happens behind the scenes in the police? What bizarre 999 calls are made to the emergency services? Why can wearing two pairs of socks make you a suspect? What is the link between police and vampires? Which Royal arrest never made news headlines? What covert sign do officers make when they no longer wish to talk to you? After successful careers in both the military and business, John Donoghue realised that the higher you get in any organisation, the less fun you have. So, after handing back his expense account and company car, he joined the police in search of excitement and thrills... and discovered some surprising answers to these puzzling questions. PC John Donoghue reveals all in his fascinating and hilarious true account of a year in the life of a front line response officer. Names and places have been changed to protect the guilty... but if you call the police, maybe, just maybe, it could be Police Constable John Donoghue turning up at your door. This book will appeal to anyone interested in crime and police, as well as fans of autobiographies and humour.

Frequently Bought Together

Police, Crime & 999: The True Story of a Front Line Officer + Police, Lies and Alibis: The True Story of a Front Line Officer + Confessions of a Police Constable (The Confessions Series)
Price For All Three: 20.79

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Product details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Matador (1 Aug 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1848766858
  • ISBN-13: 978-1848766853
  • Product Dimensions: 21.6 x 14 x 1.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (473 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 15,976 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

John Donoghue never set out to be to be a writer ... he wanted to be a sailor ...and a soldier ...and a policeman.

When he left school, he ran away to sea ...or more accurately, caught the train and joined the Royal Navy. After six years on the high seas, he transferred to the Army, serving Queen and Country throughout the Cold War.

However, when it began to thaw, he took this as my cue to move on. Leaving the army as a Captain, he joined an international security organisation, although it was more budgets and spread-sheets than James Bond and Pussy Galore.

Bored, and in search of more fun and excitement, he handed back his company car, expense account and keys to the executive toilets and joined the police force where he is currently a serving police officer.


He has written three books.

'Police, Crime & 999' covers a year in his life as a front line response officer.

'Police, Lies & Alibis' is the follow up, following the further adventures of 'E' shift.

"We are the cops who respond initially to the 999 (911) calls with the blue lights flashing and sirens blaring. It's your all access view behind the scenes of what REALLY happens in the police."

Both police books have won the coveted People's Book Awards - voted for by members of the public.

Genre: Humour, True crime, Autobiography

'Shakespeare My Butt!' is the tale of his military service on land and sea, how he played Moses to the dog world with 'The Ten Commandments of Dog' and finally, his odyssey around the bizarre named places in Britain - towns and villages with names such as 'No Place', 'Pity Me', 'Wetwang' and 'Twatt'.

Genre: Humour, Military, Travel, Autobiography (NOTE: make sure you get the updated version with Che Sweep on the cover)

It was infamously described in a review as 'Bill Bryson on magic mushrooms'.

John is on twitter @JohnDonoghue64


Product Description

About the Author

John Donoghue served as a commissioned officer in both the Royal Navy and British Army before a successful career as a consultant, advising on some of the country's highest security sites. In search of new adventure, John then joined the police where he is currently a serving officer.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A truly FIRST CLASS book 2 Jun 2012
By Zorro
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book is perhaps THE best Police based book I have ever read! It is very well written, researched and presented. From the opening chapter to the very last it will have you enthralled, laughing and mesmerised by Policing in todays Society. I gave the book 5 stars and it IS WORTH IT! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book to you and at under 4.00 it is, pardon the pun, a steal!
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Split your sides laughing, call 999 2 Jun 2012
Format:Paperback
An entertaining twist of life in the thin blue line. Everything from Eyeore to Dracula, from dogs to custody suites. The fun times and the hard times. It's a book you just want to keep reading, loved every minute. Go out and get this book, it's a crime if you don't.
This book was even funnier after reading it for the second time after finding the little bits I missed the first time.
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34 of 39 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is a real classic. It's funny, addictive and insightful. The stories will make you laugh out loud and you will spend most of your time trying to read segments of the narrative to your nearest and dearest as it's too good not to pass on. A great book for anyone - you don't need to be intrigued by the workings of the police to love reading it but, if you are, there is plenty of juicy detail which is presented in an enjoyable and easy to read way. The wittiest yarn I have read for a very, very long time.
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Full of laughs 22 Feb 2013
By T2CXX
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I decided to read this off the back of other reviews and comments from twitter. I am so glad I did. This book is full of fun and laughter and in some cases a real eye opener into what our fine Police force face each and every day.

If you need a giggle, then this will provide many.
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20 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Put simply: buy this now 24 Feb 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Police Crime & 999 gives an absolutely hilarious insight into the side of modern policing often not reported with fantastic tales behind the blaring sirens of rushing police cars and the hands on side of policing. From a crowd drunken travellers hellbent on robbing a dead body to a mother with the most amazing threat ever to a bold child you will be bent over with laughter from the very first page.

Unputdownable!
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant! 30 May 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A lot of positive reviews about this book and I would echo every one. As a police officer it was easy to identify with the jobs and personalities set down in this book. For people outside of the job it will offer a differing insight to the world of response policing than that provided by the heavily edited fly on the wall documentaries that are endlessly repeated on Dave or UK Gold. It's an insight that accurately reflects the life of a response officer complete with the real and sometimes strange incidents that we are asked to attend, and all written with a very funny sense of humour. Hopefully another book is in the pipeline, (not the one in the custody block....). But I digress, stop reading this review and start reading the book.
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant LOL stuff 28 Jan 2012
Format:Paperback
I purchased this book after it was recommended to me.
It arrived yest and all I can say is thank god it arrived on a Friday as work could have got in the way. If you are looking for laugh out loud moments combined with an informative and educational insight into the life of a copper in this day and age, you have found the book for you. I have a tremendous amount of respect for any boy in blue, but reading this book, I think John Donoghue and his collegues need a medal!!!! I would not have the patience!
Written brilliantly, content.... hilarious, and I defy any female not to read it and question..... homes of precious items..... and if we are in the obvious catergory of perving over the uniform.
If your male...... you will love the blunt humour and the ability to find a positive out of a negative, no more clues other than "great rack".
Something for everyone, highly recommend, and to those who have already asked me what I'm laughing at..... I will send you the link . Just under 300 pages of pure pleasure, and dont miss any of it, the humour starts as soon as you open the book!
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny Funny Funny.... 26 May 2012
By lucyh
Format:Paperback
Can't remember the last time I laughed out loud whilst reading a book! Brilliantly funny, have recommended this already & I've not finished it yet. Buy it!! Be prepared for the odd looks u get when you read this in a public place!!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars They say a policeman's life is not a happy one!
But I reckon it is judging from this book. A had a good giggle at all the tales in the book. If you want to. read. something different read this book.
Published 18 hours ago by No1Bruce fan
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!
Excellent book! Hilarious from start to finish! Ideal for cops new and old and civilians who want an insight into what cops really have to deal with! Read more
Published 2 days ago by Anthony Ainsley
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it
Garaunteed to make you roar with laughter . Being a probationer PC in your middle youth prob not easy. Read more
Published 4 days ago by clare Keatley
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
John has wonderful sense of humour
Published 5 days ago by Jingo
5.0 out of 5 stars Great laugh out loud read
Just finished reading this whilst sat in the garden in the glorious sunshine. Who knew that police officers had such an entertaining job? Read more
Published 5 days ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars humorous and intelligent read with lots of interesting facts thrown in...
Within the first five minutes this book had me laughing out loud. An honest, humorous and intelligent read with lots of interesting facts thrown in the mix, ( I didn't know what a... Read more
Published 7 days ago by Sinead McCartan
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read
Took me 2 days only to read, read and laughted out loud, neighbours must have thought I had gone bonkers. Read more
Published 12 days ago by Chris
5.0 out of 5 stars Prepare to laugh out loud
Expect some funny looks if you read in public as you will laugh out loud. The funniest bits for me where the horse called my face and the drunks wheelchair. Read more
Published 13 days ago by Roy Sloane
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book ive read in years!
You always think a book isnt going to really make you laugh out loud when someone else says its funny but i was so wrong! Read more
Published 13 days ago by Helen Payne
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!
An all-round great read! A good mix of knee-slappers, refreshingly insightful trivia and hilarious shenanigans! Read more
Published 14 days ago by Adrian
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