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Pocket Ninjas [DVD] [1997] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]

Robert Z'Dar    DVD
2.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
Price: 16.79
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Region 1 encoding (requires a North American or multi-region DVD player and NTSC compatible TV. More about DVD formats.)

Note: you may purchase only one copy of this product. New Region 1 DVDs are dispatched from the USA or Canada and you may be required to pay import duties and taxes on them (click here for details). Please expect a delivery time of 5-7 days.



Product details

  • Actors: Robert Z'Dar
  • Format: Colour, DVD-Video, NTSC
  • Language: English
  • Subtitles: English
  • Region: Region 1 (US and Canada DVD formats.)
  • Aspect Ratio: 4:3 - 1.33:1
  • Number of discs: 1
  • Classification: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested) (US MPAA rating. See details.)
  • Studio: Trinity Home Ent
  • DVD Release Date: 1 Jan 2007
  • Run Time: 91 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 2.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • ASIN: B000JMKK1I
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 231,749 in DVD & Blu-ray (See Top 100 in DVD & Blu-ray)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Ouch 14 April 2011
Format:DVD|Verified Purchase
As a Gary Daniels fan I felt really embarrassed for him watching this. One can excuse him as it was made early in his career and he has gone on to better things but I will not be watching very often.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 2.6 out of 5 stars  9 reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Pocket Ninjas: Even The Kids Will Just Say No 4 April 2007
By Robert I. Hedges - Published on Amazon.com
Format:DVD
I bought this DVD for a friend who is a Robert Z'Dar completeist. I was morbidly curious, so I watched it first. That was a major lapse of judgment. My first challenge was in trying to play the DVD: the main menu is so poorly designed as to make it hard to figure out how to get the movie to start; unfortunately I was a bit too tenacious and actually was able to get the film to play.

This film is one of the most amateurish films ever made (I am not the first reviewer to notice this,) making such Mogadore, Ohio classics as "Chickboxer" and "Galaxy of the Dinosaurs" look like Oscar winners by comparison. The movie stars a long haired karate instructor (think Roger Daltry in a bathrobe) and three annoying kids. This concept was far more skillfully executed by Hulk Hogan in "3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain." I am somewhat ashamed to be able to thoughtfully compare the two.

The teacher is the "White Dragon" who patrols the streets of gang-infested Los Angeles by night. He has supernatural powers (the "gift of the dragon") which he passes along to his three young proteges, who get red, gold, and black dragon masks of their own. (When you see the Red Dragon, note how he looks like an almost perfect cross between Gene Simmons in costume and Boy George.) The enemy is Cobra Khan played by Robert Z'Dar, who along with his son, Cubby Khan, run the looting and pillaging gangs.

The kids adore their teacher, and they practice with him daily. In fact, the huge preponderance of the film is taken up by karate practice (they wish they were as good as the cast of "Chickboxer" but they aren't) and annoying electronic music. Not only are they small ninjas (hence the title,) they rollerblade to their fights. There are subplots about environmental damage and fish poisonings, a comic book written in "Canadian" instead of English (rendering it illegible to the ninjas,) and fantasy action vignettes in which Robert Z'Dar actually gets to play patty cake and do a Tarzan impression that frightens off clowns. (I am not making this up.) Of all subplots, though, the most disconcerting is the one in which the moody ninja's mom is romantically interested in the karate teacher. When she bakes him cookies there are voiceovers where we get to explore what they are thinking about each other. Samples include "Nice muscles" and "Her hair is like a waterfall gleaming in the moonlight." That's not too far off, actually: her hair is quite large.

Cubby Khan and his minions finally duke it out in a warehouse, and engage the ninjas in a virtual reality game to determine the winner. This is perhaps the worst few minutes of film I have ever sat through in my entire life. Between the "Sonic Virtual Reality" special effects and Robert Z'Dar being enveloped in silly string, very little else compares to this in wretchedness.

One thing to note as the film ends: absolutely no plots are resolved. None. This film is notable for its utter lack of resolution. Are the gang problems solved? Do the karate teacher and the ninja's mom hook up? Is the fish poisoning stopped? We have no idea (and we don't care.) That shouldn't really be a problem for the target audience of this film, but even children will be unentertained by this drivel. This is not so bad it's good, it's just bad. If you want to see a better performance by Robert Z'Dar, I recommend "Guns of El Chupacabra," which, while awful, is still better than this. Actually I would recommend any of Robert Z'Dar's movies in preference to this, now that I think about it.

Pocket Ninjas: even the kids will just say no.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible! Not even cult terrible! 25 Jun 2011
By Daniel Sempsey - Published on Amazon.com
Format:DVD
As a collector of DVD's I would occasionally pick up something that isn't worthy to be in my collection. But, I won't let this one mess up my day. I'll review it here so you don't get trapped buying it when you see it on a store shelf.

First, what do Gary Boatner, Paul Bacca and David J. Stevens have in common? They are the hacks who supposedly did the work on the sound for this movie. The music score was from one keyboard and it sounded as though they plugged the headphone jack into the tape jack of the mixer, turned it up to maximum volume and commenced to record with the resulting fried circuits. The dialog on the other hand sounded like it was all recorded separately on an Ediphone.

Then comes the plot. It's not a Ninja comedy as advertised. The best and most accurate plot description is as a very thinly disguised environmentalist propaganda message. This is the very same stuff those cheezy middle school "educational movies" are made of. In fact, this is where the movie truely belongs, flickering on the screen from an 8mm reel in middle school while a gym teacher asks rehearsed questions from a little instruction booklet included with it so he can pretend he knows everything.

Out of a possible score of 100, I'd give it a 3. The three points are for the absurd fight scenes. Weirdness has an appeal with me. As for any authenticity in the fight scenes, it's safe to bet that Miss Piggy did a better job in "The Muppet Movie".

All in all, I've seen better movies done by drunks with cell phone cameras.

Rated "S" for STUPID

I'm going to the dumpster now. Gotta toss out a DVD.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 28 Feb 2006
By Micheal Hunt - Published on Amazon.com
Format:DVD
Hi there.

Do you like movies with incredibly bad acting?
Do you enjoy watching a movie thats cut together so bad you could swear your 3 year old kid could film something better?
Do you like watching actors run into a room and stand perfectly still while they say there dialog?
Do you like incredibly boring long montages every 5 minutes?
Do you want to see a familly comedy movie that is in no way at all funny?
Do you want to watch a beautiful young girl with only one name who amazingly had no acting career after this film and seems to have disapeered off the face of this earth?
Do you wanna see Maniac Cop have the stupidest showdown in history while balancing on balloons and shaming the 3 stooges?
Do you have an I.Q under 0.1?

Then this movie is perfect for you.

EDIT: I apologise for the two star vote, i accidently chose the wrong one. I meant 0 stars.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Amateur Hour Extreme 10 Sep 2002
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:DVD
This is perhaps the most amateurish movie I've ever seen. It's so ridiculously bad, that I had a hard time believing it was released on DVD. Horrible sound, bad acting, stupid story lines.......no redeeming fun at all. As far as being a kids film....it's too lame for that. Stupidity does not mean kids will like it. Stay away!
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Pocket Ninjas: Even The Kids Will Just Say No 4 April 2007
By Robert I. Hedges - Published on Amazon.com
Format:DVD|Verified Purchase
I bought this DVD for a friend who is a Robert Z'Dar completeist. I was morbidly curious, so I watched it first. That was a major lapse of judgment. My first challenge was in trying to play the DVD: the main menu is so poorly designed as to make it hard to figure out how to get the movie to start; unfortunately I was a bit too tenacious and actually was able to get the film to play.

This film is one of the most amateurish films ever made (I am not the first reviewer to notice this,) making such Mogadore, Ohio classics as "Chickboxer" and "Galaxy of the Dinosaurs" look like Oscar winners by comparison. The movie stars a long haired karate instructor (think Roger Daltry in a bathrobe) and three annoying kids. This concept was far more skillfully executed by Hulk Hogan in "3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain." I am somewhat ashamed to be able to thoughtfully compare the two.

The teacher is the "White Dragon" who patrols the streets of gang-infested Los Angeles by night. He has supernatural powers (the "gift of the dragon") which he passes along to his three young proteges, who get red, gold, and black dragon masks of their own. (When you see the Red Dragon, note how he looks like an almost perfect cross between Gene Simmons in costume and Boy George.) The enemy is Cobra Khan played by Robert Z'Dar, who along with his son, Cubby Khan, run the looting and pillaging gangs.

The kids adore their teacher, and they practice with him daily. In fact, the huge preponderance of the film is taken up by karate practice (they wish they were as good as the cast of "Chickboxer" but they aren't) and annoying electronic music. Not only are they small ninjas (hence the title,) they rollerblade to their fights. There are subplots about environmental damage and fish poisonings, a comic book written in "Canadian" instead of English (rendering it illegible to the ninjas,) and fantasy action vignettes in which Robert Z'Dar actually gets to play patty cake and do a Tarzan impression that frightens off clowns. (I am not making this up.) Of all subplots, though, the most disconcerting is the one in which the moody ninja's mom is romantically interested in the karate teacher. When she bakes him cookies there are voiceovers where we get to explore what they are thinking about each other. Samples include "Nice muscles" and "Her hair is like a waterfall gleaming in the moonlight." That's not too far off, actually: her hair is quite large.

Cubby Khan and his minions finally duke it out in a warehouse, and engage the ninjas in a virtual reality game to determine the winner. This is perhaps the worst few minutes of film I have ever sat through in my entire life. Between the "Sonic Virtual Reality" special effects and Robert Z'Dar being enveloped in silly string, very little else compares to this in wretchedness.

One thing to note as the film ends: absolutely no plots are resolved. None. This film is notable for its utter lack of resolution. Are the gang problems solved? Do the karate teacher and the ninja's mom hook up? Is the fish poisoning stopped? We have no idea (and we don't care.) That shouldn't really be a problem for the target audience of this film, but even children will be unentertained by this drivel. This is not so bad it's good, it's just bad. If you want to see a better performance by Robert Z'Dar, I recommend "Guns of El Chupacabra," which, while awful, is still better than this. Actually I would recommend any of Robert Z'Dar's movies in preference to this, now that I think about it.

Pocket Ninjas: even the kids will just say no.
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