- Paperback: 272 pages
- Publisher: Simon and Schuster; New edition edition (1 Oct 1994)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0671894390
- ISBN-13: 978-0671894399
- Product Dimensions: 21.7 x 14.1 x 1.7 cm
- Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 836,391 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description
Product Description
Homosexuality is being talked about more today than at any other time in human history; the issue of gay rights has reached a moment of truth. Now comes a gay writer's powerful meditation on the nature of homosexuality and the need to resist confining stereotypes.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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First Sentence
One day a few years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties, I walked into a bookstore in midtown Manhattan. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
One day a few years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties, I walked into a bookstore in midtown Manhattan. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is an important book in the struggle for equality for gays. One of Bawer's main points is that the subculture gays have, in fact, limited other gay's visibilty. As Bawer says, both sides, the conservatives and the subculture, want to force him into a limited 'lifestyle' which simply is not true. Overall, this is an excellent book that needs to be read by equality oriented individuals as well as close-minded bigots.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I was given the idea to read this book by a friend of mine still struggling with his sexuality. When I read it, I recognized my self and my beliefs in its pages. This book is the best, most inclusive book dealing with homosexuality that I have read. It takes a very balanced approach to many issues, such as activism, religion, family, friends, relationships, and relating to the public. Instead of taking an extreme position on any of these points, Bawer shows how logic and compromise can mean greater strides than being confrontational. He also demonstrates that there is more than one way to "be gay". Not everyone has the same politics, not everyone has the same beliefs....it's when someone tells you how you should act or which way you should vote that there is repression. Overall, an excellent book, and probably the most useful resource for anyone struggling with coming out and what it means to be gay.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
20 reviews
15 of 20 people found the following review helpful
Self-indulgent, disorganized, and repressed.
15 Oct 2008
Format:Paperback
At first, I thought I connected with Bawer in that I am a gay male who doesn't see himself as stereotypical, "queeny," "campy," etc. I hate being stereotyped as such, so I empathize with Bawer on that note. However, as the book went on, I found myself shocked at Bawer's rhetoric, and his logic---both are flawed, inconsistent, and baseless.
First and foremost, to criticize visible symbols of homosexuality in society is heartless, rude, and reveals his own discomfort with sexuality. Drag queens, Pride organizers, and "radical activists" dedicate their lives in order to make other people's lives better. They get out into the real world and show people what diversity is and how it is manifested. As far as this "silent majority" (gays who aren't "flamboyant," "radical," or "stereotypical") that Bawer speaks of, I offer one response: since when has silence done anything to improve human rights? Also, what does Bawer expect from this? That the "silent majority," who by implication of the word "silent" are nor vocal nor activists, will do better for gay rights? And how so? Logically, the answer ends up being the assimiliation of gays into a heteronormative world, where behavioral and linguistic traits commonly associated with heterosexuals are favored. It is these logical holes that reveals Bawer's book as an insecure and resentful, yet very self-indulgent, rant.
I would also like to connect this race. Here, Bawer has positioned himself as the Clarence Thomas of gays; Bawer simply seems to be complaining about stereotypes that are unfairly applied to him, and then trashes the people who helped him get where he is today. Bawer says that "radicals" need to get out of the public eye, similar to Booker T. Washington's doctrine of "accommodationism," which basically asked Blacks to stop "acting Black" and start acting "white" because it was normative. Thus, there is a definite logical implication that "visible" gay people need to shut up, stop "acting gay" and start to assimilate into the heteronormative environment that Bawer pretends to criticize but still participates in and perpetuates.
I want to believe that Bawer's heart is in the right place. His mind clearly is not. Every so often, you hear from people like this. But I do not believe this rhetoric is helpful, intelligent, or sustained throughout his book. Few references are given, and most of the writing is anecdotal. Although insightful, Bawer does no favors by committing the same stereotypes that his conservative targets commit; he gives little credit to the transcendent and diverse gay community, which does not need his "help" in the least. I do not believe his views in general to be relevant in a society where things are very much still separate and not equal.
First and foremost, to criticize visible symbols of homosexuality in society is heartless, rude, and reveals his own discomfort with sexuality. Drag queens, Pride organizers, and "radical activists" dedicate their lives in order to make other people's lives better. They get out into the real world and show people what diversity is and how it is manifested. As far as this "silent majority" (gays who aren't "flamboyant," "radical," or "stereotypical") that Bawer speaks of, I offer one response: since when has silence done anything to improve human rights? Also, what does Bawer expect from this? That the "silent majority," who by implication of the word "silent" are nor vocal nor activists, will do better for gay rights? And how so? Logically, the answer ends up being the assimiliation of gays into a heteronormative world, where behavioral and linguistic traits commonly associated with heterosexuals are favored. It is these logical holes that reveals Bawer's book as an insecure and resentful, yet very self-indulgent, rant.
I would also like to connect this race. Here, Bawer has positioned himself as the Clarence Thomas of gays; Bawer simply seems to be complaining about stereotypes that are unfairly applied to him, and then trashes the people who helped him get where he is today. Bawer says that "radicals" need to get out of the public eye, similar to Booker T. Washington's doctrine of "accommodationism," which basically asked Blacks to stop "acting Black" and start acting "white" because it was normative. Thus, there is a definite logical implication that "visible" gay people need to shut up, stop "acting gay" and start to assimilate into the heteronormative environment that Bawer pretends to criticize but still participates in and perpetuates.
I want to believe that Bawer's heart is in the right place. His mind clearly is not. Every so often, you hear from people like this. But I do not believe this rhetoric is helpful, intelligent, or sustained throughout his book. Few references are given, and most of the writing is anecdotal. Although insightful, Bawer does no favors by committing the same stereotypes that his conservative targets commit; he gives little credit to the transcendent and diverse gay community, which does not need his "help" in the least. I do not believe his views in general to be relevant in a society where things are very much still separate and not equal.
8 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Probably THE most important book for gay people
12 Mar 1999
Format:Paperback
I was given the idea to read this book by a friend of mine still struggling with his sexuality. When I read it, I recognized my self and my beliefs in its pages. This book is the best, most inclusive book dealing with homosexuality that I have read. It takes a very balanced approach to many issues, such as activism, religion, family, friends, relationships, and relating to the public. Instead of taking an extreme position on any of these points, Bawer shows how logic and compromise can mean greater strides than being confrontational. He also demonstrates that there is more than one way to "be gay". Not everyone has the same politics, not everyone has the same beliefs....it's when someone tells you how you should act or which way you should vote that there is repression. Overall, an excellent book, and probably the most useful resource for anyone struggling with coming out and what it means to be gay.
6 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Attaining Equality....
16 Aug 2000
Format:Paperback
When this book was first released, it angered many members of the gay community and it's easy to see why. Bawer, a self professed conservative, lambasts more liberal gay rights advocates who believe in visibility at any cost. According to Bawer, this approach inevitably destroys any credibility the gay rights movement hopes to attain. True success can only be had if those interested in equality are able to work within the system in a manner that is non threatening to the majority of heterosexuals in power. Whether you agree with Bawer's approach or not, this is a book that must be read by anyone interested in the debate over the best way to establish gay and lesbian equality in this country.
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