Pirate Therapy and Other Cures [Kindle Edition]

Mark Rayner has a unique view of the world, and I'm indebted to him for sharing it in this book. `Pirate Therapy and Other Cures' is a collection of essays, flash fiction and short stories which addresses important issues including:

`How do you deal with wrap rage?'
(Wrap rage is `the rising rage and dementia that you feel when you are unable to open the shiny new thing you have just purchased with your hard-earned cash.')

General Kang can answer all kinds of questions, including:
`If we have love in a time of cholera, what do we have in a time of bird flu'; and `Do you think we should ban tasers?'

But if it isn't really advice you are after, consider `Futuresnark', which includes:
`Disquieting postcards I've Recently Received from my Future Self.'

I think that more than the International Dateline has been crossed. Just a thought.

I enjoyed all of the pieces in this book, but I especially enjoyed "Harold Pinter's Acceptance Speech for the Nobel Prize in Literature' and `William Shatner's inaugural address (after winning the first Post-Two-Party Presidential Election'.

I was alarmed by the very thought of this: `How Anne of Green Gables Destroyed the World', but reassured by `A Short History of Groundhog Day' and `Ten indisputable facts about Canada'.

I've been trying to master `How to play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie'. Hear me laughing?

This collection is a lot of fun, especially for those readers with a well-developed sense of the ridiculous. And that should be everyone. Really. Bye for now, I'm off to source a `Thomas Kincaid Pop-up Christmas Tree and Santa Virus Dispenser'. Every home should have one.

Note: I was offered and accepted a copy of this book for review purposes.

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

If you have that feeling that your favorite genre of reading is leaving you with a somewhat empty feeling;and you think a bit of therapy is in order,find yourself a secluded spot and take a trip with Rayner and partake in some pirate therapy.I say secluded in the literal sense;because you certainly won't want anyone else around ;well maybe your pet toad,if you happen to have one;but certainly not someone who is going to ask you to explain why you are laughing...or at least,grinning with your eyes closed.
If you are "little miss prim and proper",you may not fall under Rayner's spell,simply because you won't be sure whether you should or not. If you are the type who doesn't like anything at all that you read;you might find your Golden Grail here;because of the stuff you've tried to read,nothing will be anything like what you'll find here.
What Rayner produces from his unique mind, that is completely void of anything that might be construed as conventional,will amaze you ;and make you look at the world around you,in a way you never imagined.
Reading this book will leave you with thoughts that if you are able to recall them during discussions with people who think they have found the secrets of normality and wisdom,that will send them "bonkers".Here you will find why Rayner thinks people should read more books(his included,though he doesn't promote it).As an engineer,I found out all about the "Forgotten Deity,Flaccidus,the Roman God of Engineers,and that "Most engineers in the Roman construction industry were active worshipers of Flaccidus,and they would sacrifice to him weekly.because--let's face it--there's nothing worse than having one of your erections fall flat.Not to mention the dangers of sinking bridges,droopy apartment buildings,and aquaducts that can't keep it up.Naturally, our English word,flaccid ,comes from this Latin root." Modern day Electrical Engineers should also consider seeking support from Flaccidus,when confronting Brownouts,and particularly if experiencing unthinkible Blackouts.Much better, they should have problems of Power Surges.And it's not necessary to call your Doctor if they last more than 4 hours.
Then there is the great questions about Canada and why Canadians are the way we are.These questions consume too much of our national pondering.But ponder no more,Mark Rayner explains it all for you.
This is not a book to give to someone who you think could benefit it as a Birthday or God forbid,a Christmas present.Mail it in a brown envelope,don't say who it's from,just say its from someone who knows them,understands what ails them,and believes their only cure is Pirate Therapy.

LOL! So many times I found myself laughing out loud while reading this book. Sometimes I would have to wait until I cleared away the tears, and of course, do a quick read aloud to my husband so he could see why I was laughing so hard. Then back to reading. I did use the text-to-speech feature and the mispronunciations added to my giggling. Then the snark value and the tongue-in-cheek humor would double me over. LOVED THIS BOOK! Next time I'm feeling down I will pull this out and read it again.

Mark Rayner's sense of humor must keep his family in stitches! His intelligence and spot on grasp of current events and/or historical events is surprising and then to discover that he is Canadian, eh? I'm curious about whether or not he had down writing for comedians or comedy shows. Or if he has done any stand up himself? Anyway, this is a must read for everyone!