Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships
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Product Description
Product Description
While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. Why, if love is so great and powerful, are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives.
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal, core wounding around love that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This wounding shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. And this shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us.
This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace our humanness and appreciate the imperfections of our relationships as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves.
Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world.
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal, core wounding around love that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This wounding shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. And this shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us.
This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace our humanness and appreciate the imperfections of our relationships as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves.
Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Few books, if any, have hit me this hard! So many books with a 'This will change your life' promise and yet so few do! I guess it all depends on where you are on your life journey. But for me this book is a mind and heart opener. (I cried with joy at many parts of the book.) It showed me (and continues to show me - I keep going back to it) the way to begin to open my heart and how to find the love I have inside buried under pain and resentement. I know no other book that explains so well the therapeutic & spiritual journey. The audiobook is well worth buying as well. It's a live workshop based on the book so it's not just a repetition and it gives you the opportunity to do the meditations in an easier way than following written instructions. His comments to the participants are really helpful too. This, by the way, is the only review I've posted to date - and I've bought 100s of books on Amazon. (I was tempted to write one for the audiobook version of tara Brach's 'Radical acceptance - wonderful and very healing.)
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is stunning. It has been my constant bedside companion for the last month as each page is packed with thought-provoking, life changing words that reach into the core of why we struggle with love and how to be at ease with and live within its embrace - by giving it to ourselves. This is the book that I would have on my desert island or grab if there was a fire in my home. It is that good. And, thoughtfully, John Welwood had placed the exercises that he offers together at the end rather than at the end of the chapters. Do buy it - for yourself and your friends. And, of course, share it with your partner.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Many books have been written about how to love one another better. As the author says, this is not one of those books. Instead, it deals with the wound to love itself: our ability to trust that love is available. John Welwood is clearly someone who has done a lot of work on himself and knows what he is talking about, but he wears this lightly. He distinguishes absolute love and what he calls relative love - the love that is available to us from other people in this world of conditions - with great clarity. I find this a much more helpful language than that of conditional and unconditional love.
He counsels us not to try to let go of our wounds in a mistaken understanding of Buddhism, but to feel the depth of our longing for love. He explains not just why this can immediately be healing (in the famous words of Kabir quoted above) but also how, with exercises that radiate off the page.
John Welwood writes simply, accessibly, and concisely, but with wisdom and depth. I read a lot of books in these fields, and I can honestly say this is one of the best books I have read. Almost every line is quoteable. I recommend it unreservedly.
He counsels us not to try to let go of our wounds in a mistaken understanding of Buddhism, but to feel the depth of our longing for love. He explains not just why this can immediately be healing (in the famous words of Kabir quoted above) but also how, with exercises that radiate off the page.
John Welwood writes simply, accessibly, and concisely, but with wisdom and depth. I read a lot of books in these fields, and I can honestly say this is one of the best books I have read. Almost every line is quoteable. I recommend it unreservedly.
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