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No Perfect Father's Here [Paperback]

Chris Spicer
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
Price: 8.39 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
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Book Description

22 April 2010
Although it might only take a moment to become a father, it takes a lifetime of commitment to be a father. Our children are perfect gifts that make us want to never mess up at our one chance to be a father. So when our poor choices produce a negative result in our kids, a lot of dads begin to battle frustration, fatigue, fear and failure. Mistakes will be made, writes Chris Spicer. Yet, we can acquire knowledge and skills in the finer art of fatherhood and learn to handle our mistakes in a redemptive, rather than adversarial way-which is the point of this book. Written for real dads-imperfect dads with real struggles, failures, and successes-No Perfect Fathers Here is a roadmap on how to capably handle the role of a father in a positive manner. Chris celebrates fatherhood with ten characteristics of highly effective fathering and personal insight into improving ourselves as dads that come from his forty years as a father of four. Perfect fathers don't exist, but you can break out of the cycle of unsuccessful, even disastrous, parenting and have a favorable effect on your kids that will last them a lifetime!

Product details

  • Paperback: 264 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (22 April 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1451553307
  • ISBN-13: 978-1451553307
  • Product Dimensions: 1.4 x 21.3 x 13.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,749,820 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

Chris Spicer lives with his wife, Tina, in the United Kingdom, having recently returned from serving as Teaching Pastor for a large charismatic church in America's Midwest. As well as preaching and teaching in various churches, Chris now has more time to spend with his four amazing adult children and five rockstar grandchildren. He has been employed as a carpenter, businessman, senior pastor, teacher and Bible college principal, but he is first and foremost a husband, father and grandfather.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Recognising our triumphs and failures 21 Jun 2010
Format:Paperback
I have found it an encouraging and challenging read. It touched many bases and there were moments when I found myself reading through tears. Sometimes tears of regret but also tears of joy. Thanks for putting this together Chris.I see so much of your heart in it and recognise the triumphs and failures we all feel as fathers at different times. So many 'what ifs' but aways the positive way forward.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! 5 Jun 2014
Format:Paperback
A great read from an obviously great dad! Being a mother, I see a dire need for such a book - it's enlightening, informative and helpful - and at the same time, beautifully illustrated! 'No Perfect Fathers Here' is an excellent read for all dads, young and old! Buy it, read it, share it with your mates!

(A recommendation for the author: if I were in your place I would be very annoyed with Amazon for inserting a totally unneccessary apostrophe! Get them to remove it!!)
Peggy
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5.0 out of 5 stars Putting therapists out of a job? 9 Jun 2010
Format:Paperback
I confess to being in tears as I read No Perfect Fathers Here. First I was challenged as a father and grandfather about the continued importance and place of my own fathering skills.

Second, I was inspired to continue my work as a therapist to help people who have been deeply affected by poor fathering in their childhood. Working for 20 years as a therapist - first as a counsellor, then as a psychotherapist and play therapist - I have come across literally hundreds of people who can trace their emotional difficulties directly to problems with father-figures. The man/men in their lives have abandoned, abused, ignored or belittled them. It sometimes seems like an international epidemic.

John Bowlby, the great attachment theorist, saw the importance of the baby and small child bonding with both father and mother. Now his son, Sir Richard Bowlby, has taken up his father's mantle. Quoting a 25-year study, he has pointed out that babies and toddlers played with by a man such as a father grow into their 20s with more emotional resources and balance than those where no male figure was present.

In this book Chris Spicer scratches where society itches in this vital area. He sees a father as coach, cheerleader, composer, champion and many more. Using vignettes of real people, he stresses the importance of consistent, loving fathering.

He warns readers, in a tongue-in-cheek way, that this role is not easy. Fatherhood, he says, `may seriously affect your mental health and sense of physical well-being. Should not be taken lightly without first consulting a doctor, minister, bank manager and therapist, as this role will invade your privacy, test your sanity and irreversibly damage your prosperity' (page 29).
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Amazon.com: 5.0 out of 5 stars  5 reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must buy for all Dads AND mums 4 Jun 2010
By Mr. T. J. Bennett - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
The title says it all. I am only half through this book but feel compelled to tell all the dads out there that this is a great buy - a must read for dads AND mums. I think I've been through the full range of emotions already; laughter; tears; sadness; regret. I love the author's personal frankness, his linkage back to scripture and his use of everyday analogies. A gifted storyteller. It's also good that the book enables you to recall those things that you did well! I'm going to get my kids to read it too then they'll realise that there are no perfect fathers out there! Not only will dads appreciate this but all those with a passion for leadership development. It only takes a little adaption to relate the learning points back to the office. Do yourself and those you care about, a favour and order this book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding 21 Jun 2010
By Roger Blackmore - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
My congratulations and thanks to Chris Spicer for producing an outstanding book that is without question the best I have ever read on the subject of fatherhood.

I love that he doesn't talk down to his readers, he's not pontificating. but rather encouraging. He doesn't pretend to have been the perfect father himself and openly shares some of his own faux pas so that we can learn from them.

I wish this book was around when I was raising my own children, but having now read it myself, I am grateful to have been able to place a copy in the hands of my son and son-in-law to help them in this most demanding, yet rewarding of vocations.

I'm so sure of the positive impact No Perfect Fathers Here will have, that I have placed a bulk order to make them available to the congregation of the church I pastor.

Roger J. Blackmore
Long Island, New York
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Making therapists redundant? 9 Jun 2010
By Roger Day - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I confess to being in tears as I read No Perfect Fathers Here. First I was challenged as a father and grandfather about the continued importance and place of my own fathering skills.

Second, I was inspired to continue my work as a therapist to help people who have been deeply affected by poor fathering in their childhood. Working for 20 years as a therapist - first as a counsellor, then as a psychotherapist and play therapist - I have come across literally hundreds of people who can trace their emotional difficulties directly to problems with father-figures. The man/men in their lives have abandoned, abused, ignored or belittled them. It sometimes seems like an international epidemic.

John Bowlby, the great attachment theorist, saw the importance of the baby and small child bonding with both father and mother. Now his son, Sir Richard Bowlby, has taken up his father's mantle. Quoting a 25-year study, he has pointed out that babies and toddlers played with by a man such as a father grow into their 20s with more emotional resources and balance than those where no male figure was present.

In this book Chris Spicer scratches where society itches in this vital area. He sees a father as coach, cheerleader, composer, champion and many more. Using vignettes of real people, he stresses the importance of consistent, loving fathering.

He warns readers, in a tongue-in-cheek way, that this role is not easy. Fatherhood, he says, `may seriously affect your mental health and sense of physical well-being. Should not be taken lightly without first consulting a doctor, minister, bank manager and therapist, as this role will invade your privacy, test your sanity and irreversibly damage your prosperity' (page 29).

This book is required reading for all fathers, fathers-to-be, grandfathers and uncles. I also recommend it to single men of all ages. They can be fathers to the fatherless of society - children growing up in single-parent families, colleagues at work or in church who need a father-figure.

If enough men read this book and put into practice its great ideas, society will be a different place, I and thousands of other therapists will then have to find another job.

Roger Day PTSTA (Psychotherapy), UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Certified Play Therapist
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Encouraging! 14 May 2010
By David Sanford - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
As a guy, I hate guilt. I hate guilt trips. I hate anything that could even start to evoke guilt-ridden feelings. Believe me, every guy -- and especially every dad -- has such feelings. Then along comes Chris Spicer's great new book. Instead of dumping more guilt-inducing content and images on us, Chris offers a refreshing, humorous, and encouraging book every dad will love. Buy a copy for yourself and buy another copy to give to your favorite dad. Just be sure to add a handwritten bookmark that says, "While there aren't any perfect dads this side of heaven, you're as close as they come!" Okay, skip that last suggestion. The minute he starts flipping through this book, you're going to see him start laughing. That's what every dad needs. Enjoy!
5.0 out of 5 stars From a father of five.... 7 July 2010
By Dan Hellige - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
As a father of five kids I found NPFH one of the best reads on fatherhood and parenting. Spicer brought real, practical advice in this book -- advice that comes from a real father. Having three older kids (18-21) I can sympathize with some of his pain, but at the same time rejoice that I can still influence their lives. And for the 3 & 4 year olds, I have a new arsenal of advice, tips, and scripture to help me along the journey.

I liked the layout of the book and that each chapter was fairly self contained. He cleverly starts by asking what kind of a reader you are - skimmer, swimmer, or soaker. That made me think before diving in, and I decided to grab my pen and soak on and underline thoughts, making it easier to go back and skim when I want to find a quick bit of encouragement or advice.

Highly recommend the book to any father, but especially yound dads, or dads to be -- learn from others while you still can influence and shape your parenting skills. Furthermore, it will help you know what to pray for you as you start out your fathering journey. (Have also recommended that my wife read it, as it will provide good discussion for us as a couple on parenting, as well as my role as a dad.

Lastly, one of my teenage daughters gave me the book for fathers day....wonder what she was trying to tell me!
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