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"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere found in a nurturing family."
- Virginia Satir, Family Therapist
Parenting is not an idea, a concept or a belief. It's a process and therefore is neither static nor fixed in time that results in something special being created. Your activities and responsibilities as a parent evolve with your children, taking into account their needs - physical, social, emotional and intellectual - and your ability to be aware of and to meet these needs. As an effective parent, you help your children overcome perceived limitations to do their best and to be a valued member of the family. All the while, you bump up against your own limitations - many of your own making.
Parents' Handbook: NLP & Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being provides you with tools, techniques, insights and approaches to improve the way you communicate, to be available emotionally and physically and to successfully fulfill the different roles expected of you as a parent. By the time you finish the Parents' Handbook, you will have discovered how to:
- Have meaningful, supportive conversations with your partner and children.
- Address beliefs or habits that get in the way of being an effective parent.
- Help your children address beliefs or habits that limit them.
- Support yourself and family members in achieving your respective dreams.
- Fulfill the six primary parenting roles essential for the well-being of your children.
- Support your children in learning effectively at school and at home.
Although written for parents, the material is presented at a level older teens can understand and use. With the aid of their parents, younger teens will also find most concepts in this book useful.
This book draws on an area of personal development called neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). NLP has helped hundreds of thousands discover their own potential and live the lives they desire. Make it the difference that makes a difference for your family.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Format:Paperback
I have thoroughly enjoyed this book; the principles have provided me with a range of tools, techniques and approaches to improve the way I communicate with my children, which have already had an amazing effect. As a parent you have so many roles expected of you, to be there unconditionally for support, strength and as there role model. Roger Elleton explains how there are six primary parenting roles: caretaker and guide, coach, teacher, mentor, sponsor, and awakener, to which he gives simple easy to follow tips of how parents need to change their parenting style to correspond with their child's stage of growth and need. This book is a guide of how to do that even more effectively, using the tools and techniques of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to develop a meaningful supportive relationship between you and your family. Roger has elegantly shown how the tools and techniques of NLP can be applied to enable you to align your family's beliefs, values and goals to make the difference that makes a difference for your family.
The book is written in stages, initially introducing the reader to NLP and the basic principles of NLP, enabling them to understand themselves and their family members. These are insightful and thought provoking chapters that question your perception of the world and how your thoughts and actions create your future. The following chapters explain and describe techniques to improve your communication enabling you to communicate with your family even more effectively and to understand where your family member is coming from. What I have found most useful is the explanation and strategies for effective learning, as this is the most important gift I feel that I can give my children and knowing that I can make that learning process even easier for them is liberating. For parents who are not familiar with NLP I still recommend you purchase this book as it is written in a way that will guide you through each technique and how to apply them. The material is presented at a level that everyone can understand and use, from young teenage parents to the older more mature parents. Spend time reflecting on what you discover as you do the exercises. It is well worth it.
The book is written in stages, initially introducing the reader to NLP and the basic principles of NLP, enabling them to understand themselves and their family members. These are insightful and thought provoking chapters that question your perception of the world and how your thoughts and actions create your future. The following chapters explain and describe techniques to improve your communication enabling you to communicate with your family even more effectively and to understand where your family member is coming from. What I have found most useful is the explanation and strategies for effective learning, as this is the most important gift I feel that I can give my children and knowing that I can make that learning process even easier for them is liberating. For parents who are not familiar with NLP I still recommend you purchase this book as it is written in a way that will guide you through each technique and how to apply them. The material is presented at a level that everyone can understand and use, from young teenage parents to the older more mature parents. Spend time reflecting on what you discover as you do the exercises. It is well worth it.
Format:Paperback
I wish that I'd had this book when my children were young - and nearly as much as I wish my parents had had it as well!
Dr Ellerton has taken a very powerful set of techniques and translated them into simple, usable chunks that anyone can use.
You can read the book from front to back or simply 'dip in' as you encounter challenges with your kids.
A great resource for anyone wanting to parent in an enjoyable, effective and worthwhile way (for all parties involved)
Dr Ellerton has taken a very powerful set of techniques and translated them into simple, usable chunks that anyone can use.
You can read the book from front to back or simply 'dip in' as you encounter challenges with your kids.
A great resource for anyone wanting to parent in an enjoyable, effective and worthwhile way (for all parties involved)
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
8 reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Be the parent you want to be
21 April 2010
Format:Paperback
Looking for ways to become a better parent? To stay in communication with your child? Address beliefs or habits that stand in the way of you becoming the parent you would like to be? Then Roger Ellerton's Parents' Handbook: NLP & Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being is the resource you are looking for.
Drawing on neuro-linguistic programming, more commonly known as NLP, the Parents' Handbook provides you with tools, techniques and approaches for healthy parenting. It is a resource that not only parents, but anyone seeking to improve their relationship with children and youth, will find enlightening. As an organizational consultant, I use and promote many of these techniques in the workplace.
The book is divided into eight chapters. The first three chapters set the stage by helping the reader to understand the basics of NLP and using that information to better understand themselves, their spouse and their children. There are so many good ideas throughout these early chapters, but these two set the tone for the rest of the book.
"Your perception of the world is your reality."
"Your thoughts and actions in the present create your future."
The following three chapters provides techniques for improving communication, tools for change, and steps to achieve your desired outcomes. Examples of techniques include developing rapport, reframing, anchoring and mirroring. A key idea in the toolkit is "changing your perception, changes your reaction." It is amazing how changing a few words can change an experience.
Chapter 7 explores the six primary parenting roles: caretaker and guide, coach, teacher, mentor, sponsor, and awakener. This chapter is filled with tips about how parents need to change their parenting style to correspond with their child's stage of growth and need.
Chapter 8 recaps the material and then provides strategies for effective learning. When you read that 50% of your child's brain nerve cells are connected by the age of six and that ages six to twelve are the most formative years for developing basis skills, it is not hard to see how critical parenting is during these important years.
There is a lot of content covered in these 200+ pages. Parents not familiar with NLP or the underpinning philosophy might be somewhat overwhelmed at first. Take your time as you go through this material. Reflect on what is presented. Do the exercises. Practice the techniques. It is well worth it.
While the book is engaging and an enjoyable read, your parenting style is unlikely to change until you begin to apply the strategies put forth by the author.
As a parent of a 17 year old, I am glad that I have a copy in my bookshelf.
Val Kinjerski, PhD, author - Rethinking Your Work: Getting to the Heart of What Matters
Drawing on neuro-linguistic programming, more commonly known as NLP, the Parents' Handbook provides you with tools, techniques and approaches for healthy parenting. It is a resource that not only parents, but anyone seeking to improve their relationship with children and youth, will find enlightening. As an organizational consultant, I use and promote many of these techniques in the workplace.
The book is divided into eight chapters. The first three chapters set the stage by helping the reader to understand the basics of NLP and using that information to better understand themselves, their spouse and their children. There are so many good ideas throughout these early chapters, but these two set the tone for the rest of the book.
"Your perception of the world is your reality."
"Your thoughts and actions in the present create your future."
The following three chapters provides techniques for improving communication, tools for change, and steps to achieve your desired outcomes. Examples of techniques include developing rapport, reframing, anchoring and mirroring. A key idea in the toolkit is "changing your perception, changes your reaction." It is amazing how changing a few words can change an experience.
Chapter 7 explores the six primary parenting roles: caretaker and guide, coach, teacher, mentor, sponsor, and awakener. This chapter is filled with tips about how parents need to change their parenting style to correspond with their child's stage of growth and need.
Chapter 8 recaps the material and then provides strategies for effective learning. When you read that 50% of your child's brain nerve cells are connected by the age of six and that ages six to twelve are the most formative years for developing basis skills, it is not hard to see how critical parenting is during these important years.
There is a lot of content covered in these 200+ pages. Parents not familiar with NLP or the underpinning philosophy might be somewhat overwhelmed at first. Take your time as you go through this material. Reflect on what is presented. Do the exercises. Practice the techniques. It is well worth it.
While the book is engaging and an enjoyable read, your parenting style is unlikely to change until you begin to apply the strategies put forth by the author.
As a parent of a 17 year old, I am glad that I have a copy in my bookshelf.
Val Kinjerski, PhD, author - Rethinking Your Work: Getting to the Heart of What Matters
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Excellent Resource, Thoughtful and Hands-on Strategies
31 May 2010
Format:Paperback
Author, Roger Ellerton, PhD, CMC, caught my attention and agreement in his statement that parenting is a process. As a trainer of parenting coaches and a psychotherapist for several decades, I understand Dr. Ellerton's position that parenting can be a proactive, passionate endeavor, depending upon our beliefs, awareness, and how we handle our limitations.
Parents' Handbook: NLP & Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being provides tools, techniques and approaches to improve our communication, to be available emotionally and physically, and to successfully fulfill the different parenting roles through the NLP approach.
NLP is the acronym for Neurolinguistic Programming, strategies for personal development and growth. Neuro refers to neurology - our visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory and olfactory sensory experiences. Linguistic refers to how we use the language of the mind to make sense of and remember an experience or to forecast a future experience. What does this mean for us as parents?
If we believe we don't have good parenting skills, what two thousand bits of information do we pay attention to at any given moment - All those times that we do not meet our expectations, thus reinforcing the belief. The NLP model shows how we filter information based on our beliefs, values and memories, and encourages us to step outside of our comfort zone and explore our children's realties.
I enjoyed this book immensely because of the clarity of its organization. The easy-to-read language walked me through step-by step how to change. First, Dr. Ellerton made me examine the structure and meaning of how I communicated. Then he offered suggestions for improvement such as rapport and mirroring and leading. And he invited me further...to expand beyond my limitations to achieve my dreams. How perfect is that as a role model for a child's success?
Dr. Ellerton then covers the six roles a parent plays...caretaker, coach, teacher, mentor, sponsor and awakener in using the most effective learning strategies and knowing how to gauge success.
A highly, recommended enjoyable read!
Parents' Handbook: NLP & Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being provides tools, techniques and approaches to improve our communication, to be available emotionally and physically, and to successfully fulfill the different parenting roles through the NLP approach.
NLP is the acronym for Neurolinguistic Programming, strategies for personal development and growth. Neuro refers to neurology - our visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory and olfactory sensory experiences. Linguistic refers to how we use the language of the mind to make sense of and remember an experience or to forecast a future experience. What does this mean for us as parents?
If we believe we don't have good parenting skills, what two thousand bits of information do we pay attention to at any given moment - All those times that we do not meet our expectations, thus reinforcing the belief. The NLP model shows how we filter information based on our beliefs, values and memories, and encourages us to step outside of our comfort zone and explore our children's realties.
I enjoyed this book immensely because of the clarity of its organization. The easy-to-read language walked me through step-by step how to change. First, Dr. Ellerton made me examine the structure and meaning of how I communicated. Then he offered suggestions for improvement such as rapport and mirroring and leading. And he invited me further...to expand beyond my limitations to achieve my dreams. How perfect is that as a role model for a child's success?
Dr. Ellerton then covers the six roles a parent plays...caretaker, coach, teacher, mentor, sponsor and awakener in using the most effective learning strategies and knowing how to gauge success.
A highly, recommended enjoyable read!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
What a powerful resource this is for parents!
18 April 2010
Format:Paperback
Roger Ellerton's newest book - Parents' Handbook: NLP and Common Sense Guide for Family Well-Being adapts the breadth of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) to suit parents' needs very well.
Many people pay thousands to attend NLP courses with live practice sessions to learn skills that are transferable to academia, management, therapy, and life in general.
In more than twenty years of study, I have read many books about NLP. Roger Ellerton's is certainly one of the easiest to read. It has the depth and breadth to give anyone a solid introduction to the power of NLP's tools and techniques.
Into it he weaves practical non-NLP approaches to communications and success, and, as a specialist in accelerated learning, I am especially pleased by his use of mind maps, stories, examples, and exercises. I am also thrilled that he includes a section on effective learning to help parents in mentoring their children.
Yes, there is advantage to reading content in the order it's written, but you can still check the contents table and go straight to any section that grabs your attention. That you're drawn first to any particular part probably means that it's the more relevant to your life or that of your family at the moment. You can always come back to it later to reread it with newer perception and understanding.
Let me be clear. This book is comprehensive, and it might seem overwhelming on first opening. However, you can be sure that if you successfully employ even only one of its techniques or skills, you will be rewarded for years. Why? Simply just because better parent-child communication lasts a lifetime.
Dr Brian E Walsh PhD MNLP CHT, author - Unleashing Your Brilliance
Many people pay thousands to attend NLP courses with live practice sessions to learn skills that are transferable to academia, management, therapy, and life in general.
In more than twenty years of study, I have read many books about NLP. Roger Ellerton's is certainly one of the easiest to read. It has the depth and breadth to give anyone a solid introduction to the power of NLP's tools and techniques.
Into it he weaves practical non-NLP approaches to communications and success, and, as a specialist in accelerated learning, I am especially pleased by his use of mind maps, stories, examples, and exercises. I am also thrilled that he includes a section on effective learning to help parents in mentoring their children.
Yes, there is advantage to reading content in the order it's written, but you can still check the contents table and go straight to any section that grabs your attention. That you're drawn first to any particular part probably means that it's the more relevant to your life or that of your family at the moment. You can always come back to it later to reread it with newer perception and understanding.
Let me be clear. This book is comprehensive, and it might seem overwhelming on first opening. However, you can be sure that if you successfully employ even only one of its techniques or skills, you will be rewarded for years. Why? Simply just because better parent-child communication lasts a lifetime.
Dr Brian E Walsh PhD MNLP CHT, author - Unleashing Your Brilliance
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