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D.L. Stewart
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Tony is giving up teaching. Read the first page
Concordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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I found this book so refreshing! In a rare exception to most parenting books, Furedi actually elevates the role of parents over professionals in shaping children! Other books may claim that parents know best, but they then follow it up with endless advice on how parents need to change. Other advice books always point back to the experts as really knowing what is best for a child, and that parents should defer to the latest research and expert advice. Furedi turns this around and shows why the best people to deal with children are parents. Parents are the ones who know children best, and can best meet their needs.
Though the publicity surrounding its publication has concentrated primarily on its importance for parents and (indirectly) children, I think this is also an absolute must for any health professional who gives advice to parents about parenting and childcare issues. This book addresses issues and dilemmas that also arise for us, and puts them into context e.g. cot death, smacking, child safety. It also provides more factual and unbiased information about these issues than do many advocates and campaigners. So long as we don't get defensive, we too can learn a lot from it.
One of the best bits for me is Chapter Three where the author explains that though parenting and family make an important contribution to a child's development, they do not determine its outcome. Other influences - social, cultural and environmental, also play an enormously important part. Ironically, despite the plethora of advice on parenting, little is actually known of its actual impact on children.
The psychologising of child rearing is also discussed. Advice is frequently based on unscientific and conflicting evidence. That this puts parents under so much emotional pressure to get it right, is described in detail. It helpfully situates how this has happened and how health professionals have contributed to it, consciously or otherwise.
This book should become essential reading, not just for parents but also for politicians, experts, gurus and professionals.
Bríd Hehir
However, in some chapters he seems to wander out of his depth. He is interesting when he talks about hysteria about spanking, but looses the argument when he talks about spanking in the context of a 'warm and responsive' relationship, as though this is honestly when most parents hit their children, rather than when they are at their wit's end. I would agree that there is a tendency to pathologize normal but inconvenient behaviour, however when Furedi starts to suggest that ADHD is the result of parents being reluctant to punish their children he starts to sound like an old lady in a supermarket.
"To a surprising degree, parents have also internalized the stricture to negotiate and to use reason instead of punishment". Really? When Furedi crosses the line into psychological advice, he appears to start making up his own bad science.
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