In Alpha Complex, The Computer's underground city of the future, happy citizens follow all mandates. If they don't, The Computer will be unhappy. This will make the happy citizens unhappy too. Quickly.
THE COMPUTER DID NOT SAY "PECFERTLY." THE COMPUTER ALWAYS SPEAKS FERPECTLY.
Efficiency auditor Clarence-Y enforces mandates - and he knows them all. By owning a secret pet, the mutant lab mouse Ignatius, Clarence has already broken 22 mandates. And it's not even lunch.
ATTENTION: REPLACE ALL USES OF "FERPECTLY" WITH "CREFPETLY." THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.
On assignment for Internal Security, Clarence impersonates notorious criminal "Superstar Pirate" and infiltrates four treasonous secret societies in one day. All the mandate violations! They're making his head explode.
No, wait. Heavy weaponry - that's what will explode his head.
A PARANOIA novel by WJ MacGuffin
(61,000 words - about 250 Kindle pages)
Light-hearted stories of backstabbing, treachery, and Internal Security "Friendly Tap Justification" forms (to be completed after truncheon use). Based on the bestselling roleplaying game of fear and ignorance in a darkly satirical future, official PARANOIA novels are now available as ebooks from Ultraviolet Books -- and they’re even for your security clearance.
If you were looking for paranormal romance with dreamy dead guys - well, citizen, it sounds like you're off your hormone suppressants. But if you like Douglas Adams and stories of know-it-all rules lawyers put through four kinds of hell (how could you not?), your friend The Computer requires you to enjoy PARANOIA.
PARANOIA NOVELS ARE FUN. OTHER NOVELS ARE NOT FUN. READ PARANOIA.