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Review
"Valerie Porr has championed the cause of people with borderline personality disorder for decades. Her understanding of the disorder and its effects on the individuals themselves and their families, partners, and friends is outstanding. This readable and informative book distils her years of experience and her first hand knowledge of how to help patients and families, providing the practical wisdom that comes only with a genuine understanding of what it is to be 'borderline'. This is required reading for anyone, from novice to expert, who seeks an understanding of borderline personality disorder and who wants practical guidance on what helps."
--Anthony Bateman, Consultant Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist, Barnet, Enfield, and Haringey Mental Health NHS Trust and Visiting Professor University College, London
"Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder by Valerie Porr is like water for a parched land. Few psychiatric disorders are as misunderstood as borderline person
Product Description
BPD is a potentially devastating mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, negative self-image, and dangerous impulsivity. Many people with BPD excel in academics and careers while revealing erratic, self-destructive, and sometimes violent behavior only to those with whom they are intimate. Others have trouble simply holding down a job or staying in school. It is believed that suicide claims about one in ten people with BPD. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change is a compassionate, informative, and reassuring guide to understanding this profoundly unsettling--and widely misunderstood--mental illness, believed to affect 2-3% of the general population. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder offers families and loved ones supportive guidance that both validates the difficulties they face and shows how they can be overcome. Rather than viewing people with BPD as manipulative opponents in a bitter struggle, or pitying them as emotional invalids, this book argues that BPD is in fact a true neurobiological disorder. It clearly explains what BPD is, which therapies have proven most effective, and how to overcome the stigma associated with the disorder. The book teaches concerned family members effective coping behaviors and interpersonal skills, such as new ways of talking about emotions, building awareness of nonverbal communication, and validating difficult experiences. These skills are derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Mentalization Therapy, two evidence-based treatments that have proven highly successful in reducing family conflict and aggressive incidents in the home, while increasing hope and trust. Providing accessible explanations of cutting-edge neurobiological research, Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder takes a fundamentally different approach to the disorder: an empowering and hopeful guide to increasing understanding of the BPD experience--and to making use of that understanding in day-to-day interactions.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
such a good book for families of people with mental illness of any sort really. I think my sister has borderline (not diagnosed) but to be able to show her compassion and help my family work with her is so helpful.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
25 reviews
31 of 32 people found the following review helpful
One of Best Books I Have Read On the Topic
21 Sep 2010
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I have been on a 6 year journey trying to understand and deal with these strange and mystifying behaviors in a family member, ultimately diagnosed as borderline personality disorder (BPD). This book is one of the best that I have ever read on the topic and it gave me new insights and understanding on the neurobiological system and symptoms. Time and time, Porr provides wonderful examples to help explain complex concepts. For example, Porr uses a wonderful analogy of nine colored balls that a juggler would toss into the air to describe each symptom:
#1 blue: impulse control dysregulation
#2 red: mood or affective dysregulation
#3 purple: sensitivity dysregulation
#4 green: cognitive dysregulation
#5 yellow: emotional processing dysregulation
#6 orange: sleep dysregulation
#7 black: pain dysregulation
#8 white: memory dysregulation
#9 pink: anxiety
Reading this book gave me "new eyes" and insights regarding the disorder. It helped me to feel more compassionate towards my family member and learn new ways to communicate and interact. At the same time, Porr emphasized that the person with BPD too needs to do the work to learn coping skills and minimize stressors.
After reading segments of this book, my husband who had thought the family member was misbehaving on purpose, changed his mind after reading Porr's description of the neurobiological underpinnings of the disorder (pp. 40-75)and he also became much more compassionate and understanding. That was a major breathrough!
Porr discusses various treatment methods including dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and mentalization. I greatly appreciate her perspective and empathy for the families who are going through this with their loved ones. She really "gets it" because she herself has a loved one with BPD.
#1 blue: impulse control dysregulation
#2 red: mood or affective dysregulation
#3 purple: sensitivity dysregulation
#4 green: cognitive dysregulation
#5 yellow: emotional processing dysregulation
#6 orange: sleep dysregulation
#7 black: pain dysregulation
#8 white: memory dysregulation
#9 pink: anxiety
Reading this book gave me "new eyes" and insights regarding the disorder. It helped me to feel more compassionate towards my family member and learn new ways to communicate and interact. At the same time, Porr emphasized that the person with BPD too needs to do the work to learn coping skills and minimize stressors.
After reading segments of this book, my husband who had thought the family member was misbehaving on purpose, changed his mind after reading Porr's description of the neurobiological underpinnings of the disorder (pp. 40-75)and he also became much more compassionate and understanding. That was a major breathrough!
Porr discusses various treatment methods including dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and mentalization. I greatly appreciate her perspective and empathy for the families who are going through this with their loved ones. She really "gets it" because she herself has a loved one with BPD.
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful
Buying us all another chance
17 Sep 2010
Format:Paperback
If you're looking for a first book on Borderline Personality Disorder, choose this one: it is grounded in the latest biological research, decades of on-the-ground experience, and a detailed prescription for action. Both great context and great application. If you've read any other books on BPD, then you're obliged to read this one, and quickly: it provides real science and context and -- most importantly -- offers an action plan that works with, rather than against, the illness. Most of my research has led me to angst and despair; Valerie Porr's book has given me new hope by enabling me to understand, encouraging me to accept, and equipping me to act.
27 of 29 people found the following review helpful
Much needed among of class of lesser books
9 Aug 2010
Format:Paperback
"Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder" is a breath of fresh air among many books for loved ones of people with BPD. Filled with up-to-the-minute neurobiological and therapeutic research, Ms. Porr has delivered an intelligent, compassionate and insightful book. Filled with useful skills from evidence-based and time-proven therapies, such as DBT and Mentalization-based therapy, this book is a must-read for family members struggling with this often confusing and frustrating disorder. Unlike several books on this subject, this book fuels compassion, rather than anger and resentment. Thoughtfully written and full of insights found nowhere else, I highly recommend Ms. Porr's book. Just the reviewers alone (on the back of the book and with in the preface) - including Anthony Bateman (a co-developer of MBT), Larry Siever (one of the most respected researchers of the disorder), Linda Dimeff (a top DBT researcher and clinician) and John Oldham (President-Elect of the American College of Psychiatrists) - should signal that this book is well-researched and not of the garden-variety "self-help" ilk. Thank you Ms. Porr for such an excellent work.
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