The pleasures of kindness have been well known since the dawn of Western thought. Kindness, declared Marcus Aurelius, was mankind's 'greatest delight' - and centuries-worth of thinkers and writers have echoed him. But today many people seem to find these pleasures literally incredible. Instead of embracing the benefits of kindness, as a species we seem to be becoming deeply and fundamentally antagonistic to each other, with motives that are generally self-seeking.This book explains how and why this has come about, and argues that the affectionate life - a life lived in instinctive sympathetic identification with the vulnerabilities and attractions of others - is the one we should all be inclined to live. 'We mutually belong to one another,' as the philosopher Alan Ryan writes, and the good life is one 'that reflects this truth'. What the Victorians called 'open-heartedness' and the Christians 'caritas' remains essential to our emotional and mental health, for reasons both obvious and hidden, argue the authors of this elegant and indispensable exploration of the concept of kindness.
On Kindness (HH AD NON/FIC)
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About the Author
Adam Phillips is a psychoanalyst and the author of twelve previous books, all widely acclaimed, including On Kissing, Tickling and Being Bored, Going Sane and most recently Side Effects. Barbara Taylor is a historian who has published several well-known books on the history of feminism, including an award-winning study of nineteenth-century socialist feminism, Eve and the New Jerusalem, and an intellectual biography of the pioneer feminist Mary Wollstonecraft.
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25 of 27 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
The authors see kindness as an essential part of what makes us human, what unites us with others; and as one of humanity's greatest pleasures, essential for our health, relationships and society. But, they detect, we have become afraid of strangers, of showing kindness and seeing kindness in others, in those close to us too.
The book explores how we are let down by the ways we think about kindness and uncovers an enlightening, hopeful and deeply resonant way for us to understand and imagine kindness.
This small book moved me to tears, stirred me to listen closer to my instincts, and made me want to give it to as many people I can.
The book explores how we are let down by the ways we think about kindness and uncovers an enlightening, hopeful and deeply resonant way for us to understand and imagine kindness.
This small book moved me to tears, stirred me to listen closer to my instincts, and made me want to give it to as many people I can.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
By rationalfide
Format:Paperback
I decided to order "On Kindness" having read other works by Adam Phillips, most especially "On Balance". Phillips working with Barbara Taylor attempt to put forward a short treatise on the historical and psychological aspects of kindness.
As this book's attempt to define kindness shows, kindness is more than a word that is difficult to define; it's also something that as a culture we are unsure about. Phillips and Taylor emphasize our strange reluctance, even embarrassment, to talk openly about our 'doing' of kind acts. We are more comfortable talking about unkindness (often done to us) than we are about the kindness(es) we enact.
My difficult with this discussion is it's size. Only so much can be said "On Kindness" in 117 pages and there are some broad sweeps across history. Christianity's treatment of kindness is, perhaps, the greatest victim of this because the text here is restricted to a brief discussion of kindness in relation to "agape" and St. Augustine. Christianity has 'done' far more for kindness than Freud (the real topic of this book) simply in that the Church has had more experience to take account of. For the Christian kindness is not some vague development of "agape", doing good to your neighbour, as the book suggests. Rather, the Christian understanding of kindness is a response grown out of compassion, a going beyond the self to the place of another. In this sense, a Christian kindness is closer to "eros" than it is to "agape", although all three of the Greek words for love are necessarily involved. Phillips and Taylor do not explore, let alone mention, these other Greek concepts for love that are crucial to their later Christian development.
As this book's attempt to define kindness shows, kindness is more than a word that is difficult to define; it's also something that as a culture we are unsure about. Phillips and Taylor emphasize our strange reluctance, even embarrassment, to talk openly about our 'doing' of kind acts. We are more comfortable talking about unkindness (often done to us) than we are about the kindness(es) we enact.
My difficult with this discussion is it's size. Only so much can be said "On Kindness" in 117 pages and there are some broad sweeps across history. Christianity's treatment of kindness is, perhaps, the greatest victim of this because the text here is restricted to a brief discussion of kindness in relation to "agape" and St. Augustine. Christianity has 'done' far more for kindness than Freud (the real topic of this book) simply in that the Church has had more experience to take account of. For the Christian kindness is not some vague development of "agape", doing good to your neighbour, as the book suggests. Rather, the Christian understanding of kindness is a response grown out of compassion, a going beyond the self to the place of another. In this sense, a Christian kindness is closer to "eros" than it is to "agape", although all three of the Greek words for love are necessarily involved. Phillips and Taylor do not explore, let alone mention, these other Greek concepts for love that are crucial to their later Christian development.
37 of 46 people found the following review helpful
By S. Smith
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Since I'd not checked, I expected this book to be more substantial than it actually is. At only 117 pages that's nearly 8p a page. However the book does have a sturdy hardback binding and a narrow silky bookmark sewn into the spine.
I bought this as an antidote to the modern dawkinsian view that we're all selfish and the gainful end always justifies the means, nomatter how machievellean.
It was featured in the Guardian's Review supplement, and I was rather attracted to all the allusions to great philosophers. As such I was expecting something slightly more academic and deeper. Instead it skims gently across the surface like a swallow skimming a millpond in summer.
In other words this book is not a philosophy or psychology textbook, in spite of the authors' qualifications and background, but ought to suit most readers, especially those who remember more courteous times. And, perhaps, it would provide some food for ethical thought for those who don't.
But then, I suppose, the latter type will probably just nick a copy from the library.
I bought this as an antidote to the modern dawkinsian view that we're all selfish and the gainful end always justifies the means, nomatter how machievellean.
It was featured in the Guardian's Review supplement, and I was rather attracted to all the allusions to great philosophers. As such I was expecting something slightly more academic and deeper. Instead it skims gently across the surface like a swallow skimming a millpond in summer.
In other words this book is not a philosophy or psychology textbook, in spite of the authors' qualifications and background, but ought to suit most readers, especially those who remember more courteous times. And, perhaps, it would provide some food for ethical thought for those who don't.
But then, I suppose, the latter type will probably just nick a copy from the library.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars
Pointless, poorly argued nonsense
What a waste of a Sunday afternoon.
This book is not an interesting set of facts, nor an argument in favour of anything. Read more
This book is not an interesting set of facts, nor an argument in favour of anything. Read more
Published 22 months ago by J. D. Hickman
1.0 out of 5 stars
Unimpressed
As a previous reviewer mentioned this is an extremely slim offering. It seems to seek to display the reading lists of the authors rather than clearly define or properly evaluate... Read more
Published on 10 July 2009 by Jim
5.0 out of 5 stars
elegant manifesto
A beautifully written manifesto in favor of the lost art - and pleasure - of kindness.
Published on 10 Jan 2009 by Sarah Knott
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