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Offbeat - A Collection of 12 Quirky Short Stories [Kindle Edition]

David Heaton
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)

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Book Description

A collection of twelve short stories by David Heaton.


BEANS: He's a celebrity. He's got it made. But his past is just about to catch up with him.
THE GOLDEN CALF: Obsession is never a healthy thing.
TOUCHPAPER: Fame and Fortune await a hopeful - and rather anxious - young man.
HOLE IN THE WALL: Be careful what you wish for. Very careful.
THE SMALLEST ROOM: An office worker makes a terrifying discovery.
NOTHING VENTURED: Faint heart never won fair lady. Did it?
A HELPING HAND: A man finds a new profession in his local library.
BY THE OAK: Sometimes digging up the past is not all bad.
AUTOMOTIVE: Buy in haste, repent at leisure.
A LIFE IN THE DAY: Some days you just don't know what's going to happen.
THE BIG DAY: If you play with fire you're likely to get burned.
OPEN SPACES: Ambition's a great thing. Just watch out for who's watching.

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Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 547 KB
  • Print Length: 148 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00413QNCQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • : Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #101,853 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

David Heaton is a part-time writer of fiction and non-fiction living in the North of England. He has had many articles published in regional magazines but in recent times has concentrated more on fiction. In 2009 one of his short stories 'Something Other' was shortlisted in the prestigious International Aeon Award for Speculative Fiction competition. It is now available in the collection entitled 'Dark and Deep - Five Tales of Unease' on the Amazon Kindle Store.
In 2010 he released his first collection of short stories on Amazon Kindle.
Entitled 'Offbeat', it is a collection of 12 quirky and humorous tales. A second collection of quirky short stories called 'Sending Flowers By Interpol' was released in 2012.
'Love Among The Parsnips' is a tongue-in-cheek, light-hearted short romance.
For children he has written 'The Prime Minister's Promise' and the illustrated story 'The Clear Pool'.
A short film entitled 'Open Spaces' based on one of his short stories was recently filmed in the U.S. It has subsequently been an official selection for the Short Film Corner at, among others, the Cannes Film Festival 2013, the 35th Moscow International Film Festival 2013, The Austin Film Festival, and The Big Apple Film Festival 2013. Along with co-writer and film director Nick Rafter, David was honoured to receive the Award for Short Film Screenwriting for Open Spaces from the Visionfest 14 film festival in New York.
When he's not slaving over a hot keypad, he likes to walk the Northern Hills with his long-suffering wife and his shorter-suffering daughter. He also likes to attend the occasional real ale festival. Purely for research purposes.
Follow him on his (very) occasional blog at:

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Short but Sweet 7 Sept. 2010
Format:Kindle Edition
The more of them I read the more I like short stories. They seem to fit in with a hectic lifestyle in a way that full-blown novels often don't, so thought I'd try this selection.

Offbeat does exactly what it says on the tin. Ten well-written short stories which are quirky, humorous and cover a wide range of subjects.

Pick of the bunch for me were 'Beans' with its novel take on an old story and 'The Golden Calf' and its tale of poetic rough justice. 'Touchpaper' and 'Hole In The Wall' were good stories which had the twists in the tale which the short story genre seems to demand.

As the blurb says, most of them are readable within a lunch hour, which for me was an added bonus.

All in all a humorous, quirky, light-hearted read and a decent companion for my other short story collections.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Amusing, clever and absorbing 5 Jan. 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I really enjoyed this short book. The stories it presents vary from Tales Of The Unexpected -stylee yarns, with twists in their tails, to sublimely ridiculous essays that make you laugh at the topics they parody (the first story - 'Beans' - falls into that latter category, and made me laugh out loud in parts).
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant, clever collection 14 Jan. 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is a great collection of clever short stories. The characterisation is brilliant throughout and the authors use of language makes each of these little gems. They are shorter than what some people may expect but so much is packed into the space there is no sense of disappointment. I will definately keep and eye out for future works.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars OK, but not that special 2 Mar. 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was a competent enough collection of short stories, well written but - for me at least - without the "Wow" factor.

Quirky? Yes, I suppose so, but many of the endings lacked any real twist or surprise element, and the characters were not particularly engaging.

I read to the end, but probably won't go back to the beginning and read them again.

Easy to read, but not a patch on Dirty Old Town (And Other Stories).
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Does what it says on the tin! 31 Dec. 2010
By Mazzer
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Purchased this book for my Kindle as I was looking for something to fill my travelling time to work. Thoroughly enjoyed the stories and would recommend them to anyone looking for a quick read. Beans and Hole in the wall were my favourites. Looking forward to further stories from this author.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good fun 28 Feb. 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
Funny little stories, perfect for those of us with a short attention span.

Definitely worth the purchase price.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars GOOD LUNCHTIME READS 9 Sept. 2010
By Echo
Format:Kindle Edition
Don't usually read many short stories but thought I would have a go with this collection. Liked them a lot. Some funny tales with good one-liners. As the introduction says, they're not going to change the world but they're an amusing diversion for a while. A good collection.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant! 19 Aug. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I am a teenager that used to read all the time and have recently stopped. I'm not so keen on reading for a long time and prefer reading at night but I can get pretty tired. This book was brilliant with a massive range of genres and stories so I could read one every night. There are quirky characters and fantastic, always unexpected, resolutions to each story which is always makes you finish the page with a smile on your face. I would recommend this to anyone as it's well worth the money!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Published 3 months ago by josken
3.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining
If it's a quickie read you want then the individual stories are fine, however many are a little predictable. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Keith Snell
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
Yes, absolutely brilliant collection of short stories. Loved the last one,
Open Spaces, it was interesting to read the three versions of the same story, impressive. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Sparky
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth it
Some really good stuff in here and definitely worth a read
Published 9 months ago by David
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny
The book is good to help you pass the time on your lunch break, the stories are funny. I'll definitely read this book again.
Published 17 months ago by Sarah Hazledine
1.0 out of 5 stars Back to the drawing board
I chose one star because the content was so immature. No challenge at all. I would not recommend it because it's the kind of read that is frustrating. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Bubble
1.0 out of 5 stars yawn
Weird, and pretty crappy pointless stories; 1 and 2 anyway. Finished it there! About as quirky as a man in his mid thirties trying to impress someone with Monty Python quotes.
Published on 20 May 2013 by Reesy
4.0 out of 5 stars Very enjoyable.
It's refreshing to come across a selection of stories by a new writer. This engaging collection is quirky, sometimes humorous, and always very readable. Read more
Published on 20 Feb. 2013 by MarkP
4.0 out of 5 stars Light Relief
The author of this collection says at the beginning of the book that he's offering 'light-hearted short stories that don't take themselves too seriously' and that's precisely what... Read more
Published on 25 July 2012 by PA
4.0 out of 5 stars Offbeat
I really enjoyed Offbeat. I'm not a fan of short stories but these kept me interested with their quirky and humerous wit. Will definately try this author again.!!!!!
Published on 4 April 2012 by pirahnafish
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