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Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go Paperback – 2 Jan 2002


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Product details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam USA; Reprint edition (2 Jan. 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553381423
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553381429
  • Product Dimensions: 13.1 x 2 x 20.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 124,216 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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It was Margaret''s last day of therapy. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 32 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 21 Sept. 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Good at making you understand you are not alone in obsessing about someone.....and making it seem like an 'understandable' disorder. Also, excellent in explaining the relevance of past relationships with parents or other significant adults in the way you relate in your adult life, and who you choose.
I didn't find the recovery advice of much use - but then, maybe it would work for someone else.
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39 of 41 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on 6 Oct. 2001
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I have read this book at least over 10 times. It is definitely worthy of high respect if understood at an emotional level and not just an intellectual level.
The practical advice I found, was difficult to put into practice without the help of a counsellor, but this may not be so for everyone. Recovery of obsession is certainly easier said than done, but with understanding of reasons for being hooked in this painful sometimes life threatening situation, it has definitely clear views on the root courses of obsession.
I highly recommend this book as it certainly changed my perception of relationships with others, especially parents, family members and partner relationships - for the better. It also made me aware of what was possibly coming my way and I was able to recognise uncomfortable situations and leads to possible obsessive behaviour in myself.
A very enlightening book indeed.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By silverset on 6 Feb. 2010
Format: Paperback
I have found this book extremely helpful when reading through the text which offers great explanations to the way I have been behaving and thinking. In fact, when I first read it, I found it really intriguing and quite astonishing on her awareness of how one can constantly struggle to accept rejection, face reality and still live on false hope. For this reason I have found it a useful and insightful read.

For example, she mentioned about `selective focusing' in which the obsessor minimises the negative meaning of messages and only chooses to focus on the positives. This is done to prevent the obsessor for accepting and perceiving the situation for how it is and only see what they want to see.

She also applies the reason one can become obsessive stems from childhood. They have felt rejection at an early stage in life. She also mentions to not justify any actions as a result of obsessive behaviour because of the way they were brought up.

The reason I am giving this book 5 stars because I would seriously recommend any person who feels they experience obsessive love to read it. Like another reviewer mentioned, the recovery advice does not appear to be extremely affective. The information, however, I believe is useful if you want theoretical knowledge. This can help the obsessor's self awareness.

Also on the American version of amazon, amazon.com, on the date I have looked on it, 20 people have given it 5 stars, with 6 four stars or lower. If you look on there they will be more reviews you can take a look at.
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