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Nurtureshock: Why Everything We Thought About Children is Wrong [Paperback]

Po Bronson (Author), Ashley Merryman (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Publication Date: 4 Feb 2010

What if we told you...

that dishonesty in children is a positive trait

that arguing in front of your kids can make you a good role model

and that if you praise your children you risk making them fail

...and it was all true?

Using a cutting-edge combination of behavioural psychology and neuroscience, award-winning journalists Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman have produced an innovative, counter-intuitive read that will change the way we interact with our children forever.

They demonstrate that for years our best intentions with children have been our worst ideas, using break-through scientific studies to prove that our instincts and received wisdom are all wrong. Nurtureshock is the Freakonomics of childhood and adolescence, exploring logic-defying insights that have far-reaching relevance for us all.

Product details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Ebury Press (4 Feb 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0091933773
  • ISBN-13: 978-0091933777
  • Product Dimensions: 13.5 x 2.6 x 21.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 268,679 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Authors

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Ashley Merryman
Po Bronson

Product Description

Review

A wake-up call for parents... the Freakonomics of child-rearing... a fantastic read (Good Morning America )

An explosive new book... Many of the findings in Nurtureshock are not what we parents expect or want to hear, but we have to hear it (Daily Mail )

Book Description

Groundbreaking work that will change the way we think about the young forever
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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
12 reviews
4.4 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating read but there could be more detail 21 Sep 2009
By AK TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was really looking forward to this one, having read all of Po Bronson's previous stuff (was mostly highly impressed), and being highly interested in the topic. My expectations might have been coloured by that in the sense that I was expecting a more comprehensive treatise on all interesting developments in child psychology over the last 20 years.

Overall a 4/5, for the simple fact that the result that came out from the research that went in, was a bit too sparse in my opinion. While I have no trouble agreeing to all the findings and very much like the process of showing how iterative efforts are necessary at uncovering working principles, as opposed to intuitively appealing concepts, which tend not to be borne out of practice, I have expected a more thorough analysis of the issues.

Another negative for me was a somewhat lacking introduction, where the authors would explain in more detail, why the specific aspects discussed were chosen, whether those are all the areas, where a change of perspective took place, and if not, why the authors considered those most important.

On the plus side, the conclusions drawn do not ever seem flimsy and complete references are included. The authors also successfully avoid the current trend towards endlessly repeating the same basic concept with different examples, so the 239 pages of content have been thoroughly combed through with Occam's razor. The style, however, seems to strongly mirror what they would have used in the newspaper articles, which predated this book (and were based on the same research), which makes the book very readable but I personally found less than optimal in the book format, where I felt the authors would provide much more depth to the reasoning and the conclusions.

To summarise, if one reads the book as a parent in search of tips how to make their child nurturing more effective, the book delivers to the full. If one is interested in a more abstract fashion in what developments took place in child / developmental psychology in the last 20 years but does not have the time to follow the relevant literature on a regular basis, the book is still OK but not a 5 star.
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31 of 34 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A must read for parents 22 Feb 2010
By Foxylock TOP 1000 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
Upon receipt of this book I immediately took issue with the title, how could everything we think about raising our children be wrong ? Surely we have an innate sense of how to raise our own children, or do we ? This book provides a hefty challenge to so many of our previously indisputable parenting principles. For instance the cornerstone of any relationship is communication, the childs first words are usually uttered as a result of parental influence, other factors are at play of course but for the first couple of years the majority of language will be learned through the parents. So we buy DVD's to help with language development and needlessly prop up a multi-billion dollar industry. Sitting our children in front of this " educational tool " while we potter around the house with a clear conscience, happy in the knowledge that junior is busy learning and will be a step ahead of all the other kids. Wrong, a scientific study has shown that the use of such aids will actually decrease the childs vocabulary and proves detrimental to their development. Talking to your child while making eye contact is far better and cheaper too !

Other areas to be discussed are, why the wrong type of praise can actually hinder the childs development, why children sleep on average one hour less than thirty years ago and the effect it has on their health, IQ and emotional well being. The contentious issue of race and how it's handled by parents, why kids lie and why siblings really fight. My personal favourite was the chapter on how gifted children are assessed and educated, the claims by educators to have it down to a fine art yet the studies show they are wrong 73% of the time ! We are shown why teen rebellion is a goood thing, how self control can be taught and how watching kids DVD's can make young children more aggressive.

I'm the proud parent of a seven week old and I must admit to being daunted by parenthood, I've had a head full of preconceptions and misconceptions about parenting for quite some time and I imagine we all believe we are the best parent. Beliefs are fallible but experience is a great teacher while guidance is invaluable, this book does not pontificate, it's not verbose but yet it encourages further inquiry. Holes are poked in the delusion of good parenting and I think by reading this book with an open mind, you will have done more for your child than any tiny tot educational DVD could hope for.
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42 of 49 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating read but there could be more detail 1 Feb 2010
By AK TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was really looking forward to this one, having read all of Po Bronson's previous stuff (was mostly highly impressed), and being highly interested in the topic. My expectations might have been coloured by that in the sense that I was expecting a more comprehensive treatise on all interesting developments in child psychology over the last 20 years.

Overall a 4/5, for the simple fact that the result that came out from the research that went in, was a bit too sparse in my opinion. While I have no trouble agreeing to all the findings and very much like the process of showing how iterative efforts are necessary at uncovering working principles, as opposed to intuitively appealing concepts, which tend not to be borne out of practice, I have expected a more thorough analysis of the issues.

Another negative for me was a somewhat lacking introduction, where the authors would explain in more detail, why the specific aspects discussed were chosen, whether those are all the areas, where a change of perspective took place, and if not, why the authors considered those most important.

On the plus side, the conclusions drawn do not ever seem flimsy and complete references are included. The authors also successfully avoid the current trend towards endlessly repeating the same basic concept with different examples, so the 239 pages of content have been thoroughly combed through with Occam's razor. The style, however, seems to strongly mirror what they would have used in the newspaper articles, which predated this book (and were based on the same research), which makes the book very readable but I personally found less than optimal in the book format, where I felt the authors would provide much more depth to the reasoning and the conclusions.

To summarise, if one reads the book as a parent in search of tips how to make their child nurturing more effective, the book delivers to the full. If one is interested in a more abstract fashion in what developments took place in child / developmental psychology in the last 20 years but does not have the time to follow the relevant literature on a regular basis, the book is still OK but not a 5 star.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Unusual material
A lot of study and research info included which makes it hard to read (you may like that!)
Sceptical at first but challenges pre set opinions and some suggestions do make... Read more
Published 1 day ago by onionfx
5.0 out of 5 stars Tiger mummy confidence
Being a Malaysian Chinese mother living in the UK, my perceptions of parenting and been significantly coloured by the environment and the developments the fields of both psychology... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Li-ling
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be required reading for parents and educators
So much high quality research distilled into such a compact and readable format.
I highly enjoyed this and have shared it with many friends.
Published 4 months ago by M. Mildiner
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best book for parents
Loved the fact that it is analysing only facts and hard core research and it is not another one of these books where so called "experts" tell you how to raise your kid. Read more
Published on 15 May 2011 by Elpi
5.0 out of 5 stars Nurtureshock
One of the best books I've ever read about children. Reminds me of Freakonomics. Absolutely brillliant. I would say a must have for a parent.
Published on 1 Nov 2010 by Jevgenija Andrejeva
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and informative
Not usually a reader of non-fiction but had read so many good reviews about this book (and some excerpts) that I decided to buy it. Found it really easy to read and interesting. Read more
Published on 15 April 2010 by J B
5.0 out of 5 stars An Must for Parents and Teachers
A thoroughly enjoyable read as well as packed with lots of interesting research. As a mum of 3 and a teacher this book really helped me understand so much more about my children's... Read more
Published on 24 Mar 2010 by S. Duncan
5.0 out of 5 stars An Articulate Explanation
As an expert Educational Consultant I read this book expecting in advance that it would yet another publication that professed common sense when indeed the common sense expressed... Read more
Published on 3 Mar 2010 by A. D. Caller
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read - but I wanted more....
This book is fascinating, and well worth reading. It may challenge many of the ideas you have about children's development. Read more
Published on 21 Oct 2009 by Mr. Simon R. Waters
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