Amazon.co.uk Review
Pin-stripped drones, a lip-pierced hairdresser, midday drunks ... Not a single person is standing still ... a thousand faces per minute ... oven-hot ... ready to buckle under the weight of cloud at any moment.Eiji is a dreamer, a Billy Liar for the Cyberpunk generation. His fantasies structure this frenetic kaleidoscopic narrative, conducting the reader on an exhilarating, disorientating tour of metropolis and mind. One minute Eiji is contending with arcade-game cybourgs, the next caught up in a Blue Velvet-type nightmare with real-life (perhaps) gangsters: "dragged into a turf war between wolves with rabies". So what was crazed and charming becomes dangerous and gripping.
This exotica and cyber-unreality allow more traditional novelistic concerns--a boy's coming of age, the exploration of ethical responsibilities or the great human universals of love and duty--to creep up unobtrusively. Pretty soon the realisation dawns: this isn't just fun, this isn't just clever, this is a great, perhaps a very great, novel. A Joycean delight in language and parody combines with affectionate characterisation and an impressive narrative control to make number9dream an extraordinary and rewarding experience. --Robert Mighall
Boyd Tonkin, The Independent
Matt Thorne, Independent on Sunday
Juliet Hindell, Daily Telegraph
Mary Wakefield, Literary Review
Stephen Poole, The Guardian
Robert Macfarlane, Observer
Adam Lively, Sunday Times
Matt Thorne, Independent on Sunday
The Face
Sunday Herald
Product Description
About the Author
Excerpted from Number9dream by David Mitchell. Copyright © 2001. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
She frowns. Excellent. Shes only human. Goldfish Pal?
Not seen our ad, maam? I sing a jingle. We cater for our finny friends
Why are you requesting access to PanOpticon?
I act puzzled. I service Osugi and Kosugis aquarium, maam.
Osugi and Bosugi.
I check my clipboard. Thats the badger.
Im scanning some curious objects in your toolbox.
Newly imported from Germany, maam. May I present the ionic flurocarb pellet popper doubtless you know how crucial pH stability is for the optimum aquarium environment? We believe we are the first aquaculturists in the country to utilize this little wonder. Perhaps I could offer a brief
Place your right hand on the access scanner, Mr Sogabe.
I hope this is going to tickle.
That is your left hand.
Beg pardon.
A brief eternity elapses before a green authorized blinks.
And your access code?
She is vigilant. I scrunch my eyes. Let me see: 313 636 969.
The eyes of the ice maiden flicker. Your access code is valid. So it should be. I paid the finest freelance master hacker in Tokyo a fortune for those nine numbers. For the month of July. I must remind you we are now in August.
Cheapskate bum jet-trash hackers. Uh, how peculiar. I scratch my crotch to buy myself a moment. That was the access code I was given by Ms a doleful glance at my clipboard Akiko Kato, associate lawyer at Osugi and Kosugi.
Bosugi.
Whatever. Oh well. If my access code isnt valid I cant very well enter, can I? Pity. When Ms Kato wants to know why her priceless Okinawan silverspines died from excrement poisoning, I can refer her to you. What did you say your name was?
Ice Maiden hardens. Zealous ones are bluff-susceptible. Return tomorrow after rechecking your access codes.
I huff and shake my head. Impossible! Do you know how many fish I got on my turf? In the old days, we had a bit more give and take, but since total quality management got hold of us we operate within an hour-by-hour timeframe. One missed appointment, and our finny friends are phosphate feed. Even while I stand here nitpicking with you, I got ninety angel-fish at the Metropolitan City Office in danger of asphyxiation. No hard feelings, maam, but I have to insist on your name for our legal waiver form. I do my dramatic pen-poise pause.
Ice Maiden flickers.
I relent. Why not call Ms Katos secretary? Shell confirm my appointment.
I already did. Now Im worried. If my hacker got my alias wrong too, I am already burger-meat. But your appointment appears to be for tomorrow.
True. Quite true. My appointment was for tomorrow. But the Fish Ministry issued an industry-wide warning last night. An epidemic of silverspine, uh, ebola has come in from a contaminated Taiwanese batch. It travels down air conduits, lodges itself in the gills, and a disgusting sight to behold. Fish literally swelling until their entrails pop out. The boffins are working on a cure, but between you and me
Ice Maiden cracks. Anciliary authorization is granted for two hours. From the reception booth proceed to the turbo elevator. Do not stray from the sensor floor arrows, or you will trigger alarms and illegal entry recriminations. The elevator will automatically proceed to Osugi and Bosugi on level eighty-one.
Level eighty-one, Mr Sogabe, announces the elevator. I look forward to serving you again. The doors open on to a virtual rainforest of pot plants and ferns. An aviary of telephones trill. Behind an ebony desk, a young woman removes her glasses and puts down a spray-mister. Security said Mr So-gabe was coming.
Let me guess! Kazuyo, Kazuyo, am I right?
Yes, but
No wonder Ran calls you his PanOpticon Angel!
The receptionist isnt falling for it. Your name is?
Rans apprentice! Jo-ji. Dont tell me hes never mentioned me! I do Harajuku normally, but Im covering his Shinjuku clients this month on account of his, uh, genital malaria.
Her face falls. I beg your pardon?
Ran never mentioned it? Well, who can blame him? The boss thinks its just a heavy cold, thats why Ran didnt actually cancel his name from his clients books
All hush-hush! I smile gingerly and look around for video cameras. None visible. I kneel, open my toolbox with the lid blocking her view, and begin assembling my secret weapon. Had a hell of time getting in here, yknow. Artificial intelligence! Artificial stupidity. Ms Katos office is down this corridor, is it?
Yes, but, look, Mr Joji, I have to ask you for a retinal scan.
Does it tickle? Finished. I close the toolbox and approach her desk with my hands behind my back and a gormless grin. Where do I look?
She turns a scanner towards me. Into this eyepiece.
Kazuyo. I check we are alone. Ran told me, about, yknow is it true?
Is what true?
Your eleventh toe?
My eleventh what? The moment she looks at her feet I pepper her neck with enough instant-action tranquillizer micro-pellets to knock out the entire Chinese Army. She slumps on her blotter. I make a witty pun in the manner of James Bond for my own amusement.