Nowhere Ranch [Kindle Edition]

Nowhere Ranch is a story about finding love and a home when just the thought of an emotional entanglement sends you running in terror.

Monroe grew up on a farm and expected to spend his life there but circumstances drastically changed when his parents discovered he was into boys and told him to straighten up or get out. Roe refused to hide who he was and left, spending a small stint in jail and moving from town to town, job to job, terrified of sticking around long enough to make a friend or tie of any kind. He signs on as ranch hand at the aptly named "Nowhere Ranch" and doesn't really notice owner Travis Loving as anything other than "boss" until the night they bump into each other at the nearest bar and realizes they have a whole heck of a lot in common.

Both were just looking for some hot kinky sex (and boy did they find some!) and plan to return to the boss/employee relationship though Travis makes it clear he'd welcome Roe on his door at any time for more sexy times. Roe gets skittish just thinking about establishing any sort of tie with Travis and ignores his invitation despite his body's urgings to pay him a visit and have some more of the hottest sex of his life. He plans to flee, as he always does, but then things happen and he ends up in bed with Travis and it gets all the more difficult to leave.

Roe tells the story so everything is told from his perspective and at moments it feels as if he is talking straight to you, the reader. It's a very intimate reading experience. Roe is hard working, quiet and down to earth and a really nice guy who has never given himself a chance to have a real relationship, even a friendship. Those who should have loved him unconditionally have damaged him and now he's afraid to let anyone in.

Fortunately for Roe, he meets two people who don't allow him to get away with his "ignore and flee" mentality. The first is Travis, who is just there, patient and steady and around whenever Roe needs him. He's a lovely guy, a little older, a wee bit hairy and has a realistic little paunch that doesn't diminish his sexiness one iota. And then there's Haley, the ranch manager's daughter, who is pushy, bossy, nosy and forces Roe to open up and become her friend. All of these entanglements are new for Roe and it's difficult for him.

I truly enjoyed the progression of Roe and Travis's relationship from casual hookup, to friends to strong emotional entanglement that can't easily be undone. Their characterization was low key and believable. Their dialogue, Roe's thoughts, as their settling in to a life with each other was very, very well done.

"He nodded back and watched me work. I'd worried he was going to get kissy on me, but he stayed where he was, and bless him, he didn't talk, just watched me work. I poured myself some coffee and got to it."

And there are so many beautiful sigh worthy moments.

"You were beautiful. You made my teeth ache just watching you. Right then I felt beautiful. Sore and tired and beautiful. And not lonely. Not lonely at all."

A word of warming is necessary here, methinks, because the sex is raw and rough and not everyone's cuppa. But it's all consensual and very hot and didn't come off as gratuitous, each scene leads up to the next as barriers break down and the two fall in love.

My only problem with the book was with the character of Haley, who though funny, lovable and a very good friend for Roe, was also too outspoken and opinionated and ranty for her own good. And don't get me started on the ending. Grrrrr, too late. The ending was so schmaltzy and just didn't feel right to me. It was very unsettling actually and felt tacked on to please someone. I don't quite know who but it wasn't me. If it weren't for the ending this book would've earned a full five stars. Do yourself a favor and skip the last few pages.

I liked Roe's voice. I found myself not reading, but listening to him, with my head cocked to one side, hanging to his words like a rope that could keep me safe, because this story is so intense at times that I felt as if Roe's pain was mine.

What I really appreciated in the relationship between the main characters is that they are very practical. Roe is not too keen on the relationship thing with Travis, but he doesn't obsess over it. We don't read endless internal monologues of what he's feeling. Roe speaks his mind, he knows what he's feeling even when he can't express it. When the words don't come out, when something happens that he feels like choking, he runs. Travis is always there for him.

The way their relationship moves from casual sex to love is gradual and natural. There is some kinky sex, but it's defining of them together, because it shows how they fit together, how they accept each other, how they trust each other. It's a release, but it's also a connection. There's urgency, but also sweetness. It was fascinating to see how Roe was finally able to open himself to Travis and when Travis showed his vulnerability, we could see how they were meant to be with each other and to heal their hurts with their love.

I liked to see how Roe changed and how his life improved at Nowhere Ranch. Haley had a pivotal role in his change: in her acceptance, Roe realizes that no one has the right to make him feel bad about his sexual orientation, that he is not ignorant or dumb, but that he is smart and he just needs to learn things differently. I rejoiced with Roe for his achievements.

It's a really moving story, where the author achieves an incredible balance of romance and sex, making us see how these two aspects are entwined, finding the right words to make the honest voice of Roe come alive.

Warning: This review might contain what some people consider SPOILERS.

Rating: 8/10

PROS:
- It takes some convincing for me to really get into a story told in first person, but this story convinced me pretty early on. Roe, the narrator, is dry and matter-of-fact, and when he prefaces certain revelations with phrases like, "You probably saw this coming, but..." I was hard-pressed not to like him. I found some of his comments very funny because he often reports things as though his life just moves wherever it wants to and he's only a hopeless bystander. This is one of my favorites: "Now that I'd made the decision to give in...I didn't see any reason not to sin as big as I liked. I mean, if you're gonna steal a chicken, eat the whole [darn] thing."
- I'm not typically a fan of books that contain sex right off the bat, but for some reason it worked for me in this story. Roe is looking so desperately for a meaningless hookup--something that he's convinced will be impersonal and cheap--that he's shocked to discover someone who's so right for him so unexpectedly. Even though the scene is meant to be entirely impersonal, the characters can't help having an emotional reaction to it.
- Roe's reactions to some of the things he and Travis do together felt more honest and true-to-life than those of many characters I've read about in BDSM stories. He's simultaneously turned on and freaked out by their actions.
- I loved that when the relationship gets serious, the characters don't get all mushy. There's some increased tenderness, yes, but they still argue and get moody and snarl at each other.
- There are a couple of secondary characters who don't appear all that often yet still manage to come across as three-dimensional. And they're likeable on top of that.

CON:
- The book ends well, but there's one aspect of the ending that I REALLY didn't like because I felt that it didn't fit with the rest of the story. Or with the characters' basic natures. Because it's described within two or three sentences, tops, it's probably supposed to be a minor little thing that shouldn't bother readers overmuch...but it had a big (negative) impact on my attitude toward the whole story.

Overall comments: Despite the regret I felt upon reading one small part of the conclusion, I liked this book. Cullinan is good at delving into her characters' heads and examining their feelings on a deep level. I felt as though I truly knew these men when I was finished reading their story.