- Paperback: 448 pages
- Publisher: Free Press; Reprint edition (16 Feb 2004)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0743225503
- ISBN-13: 978-0743225502
- Product Dimensions: 21.3 x 14.1 x 2.8 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
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Amazon Bestsellers Rank:
20,123 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #34 in Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Families & Parents > Marriage
- #89 in Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Families & Parents > Relationships > Love & Romance
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Product Description
Synopsis
Accompanied by case stories, a thought-provoking and compassionate guide documents the entire cycle of an affair, offering a step-by-step approach to healing and protecting monogamy after betrayal, as well as providing a new model for preventing an affair, one that preserves both marriage and friend
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
GOOD PEOPLE in good marriages are having affairs. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
GOOD PEOPLE in good marriages are having affairs. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
106 of 107 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
If, like I was, you are searching for help in the aftermath of infidelity, PLEASE buy this book. It's the only one you'll need. (I wasted money on several others that I haven't even opened). It is comprehensive and has obviously been written by a very experienced individual with appropriate qualifications, which makes the advice easier to take. (Even better, it hasn't got "ADULTERY" or "INFIDELITY" in big letters across the cover, which I really appreciated when reading in public!)
My partner and I used it in different ways - I read it from front to back but he took more of a "dip in/dip out" approach. Both of us felt that it was like receiving free counselling / therapy with the added advantage of taking things at our own pace in our own home. We spent considerable time reading alone and gained clarity at a confusing time. It is articulately and logically presented and, as a result, you can quote the author, using the ideas as a springboard for discussions.
It also considers the feelings and motivations of each of the three people in the relationship "triangle". This helps you to gain greater understanding and to make sense of the suituation as a whole whilst focussing on how you can move forward at a steady pace.
There are some practical ideas and examples of survivors' stories for those who choose to part but this book has mainly been written for couples who stay together and rebuild a stronger relationship. Unfortunately, you don't know where you are going to end up when you embark on the journey, which is why a comprehensive book is necessary.
My partner and I used it in different ways - I read it from front to back but he took more of a "dip in/dip out" approach. Both of us felt that it was like receiving free counselling / therapy with the added advantage of taking things at our own pace in our own home. We spent considerable time reading alone and gained clarity at a confusing time. It is articulately and logically presented and, as a result, you can quote the author, using the ideas as a springboard for discussions.
It also considers the feelings and motivations of each of the three people in the relationship "triangle". This helps you to gain greater understanding and to make sense of the suituation as a whole whilst focussing on how you can move forward at a steady pace.
There are some practical ideas and examples of survivors' stories for those who choose to part but this book has mainly been written for couples who stay together and rebuild a stronger relationship. Unfortunately, you don't know where you are going to end up when you embark on the journey, which is why a comprehensive book is necessary.
43 of 43 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I started reading this book about 4 months after finding out that my husband had had an affair with what I thought was my best friend. I wish I had had it at hand during those first horrendous weeks after discovery, when all I did was cry, think I was going crazy and upset the kids.
This book gives you advice on how to get through that initial hurricane and it shows you that what you are going through, thinking, feeling etc. is completely normal (I actually read it with a highlighter pen in my hand, highlighting all the paragraphs that applied to us).
It helps you to understand the reasons why your other half had an affair, and simply how to act around him or her when you don't know whether to kiss or punch this person!
Next it gives positive, constructive advice on how to make your relationship work again and how to strengthen it.
Five months after discovery my husband and I actually reached what appeared to be a dead end. We got past that through lots of positive thinking, counting our blessings and thanks to the positive message of this book.
If you are going through what I just went through, don't go it alone. Get all the help you can get, and read about it so you can make some sense of what appears to be incomprehensible. Good luck.
This book gives you advice on how to get through that initial hurricane and it shows you that what you are going through, thinking, feeling etc. is completely normal (I actually read it with a highlighter pen in my hand, highlighting all the paragraphs that applied to us).
It helps you to understand the reasons why your other half had an affair, and simply how to act around him or her when you don't know whether to kiss or punch this person!
Next it gives positive, constructive advice on how to make your relationship work again and how to strengthen it.
Five months after discovery my husband and I actually reached what appeared to be a dead end. We got past that through lots of positive thinking, counting our blessings and thanks to the positive message of this book.
If you are going through what I just went through, don't go it alone. Get all the help you can get, and read about it so you can make some sense of what appears to be incomprehensible. Good luck.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I've found this book very useful and keep returning to it as I go through stages of recovery. It makes me feel 'normal'. There are sections which are applicable to all the stages of recovery and to all outcomes. I have shared parts of it with my 'cheater' and he is listening. I believe that the positive, relationship friendly approach that Shirley Glass takes will help a couple get through the betrayal and aftershocks and will, as she and other counsellors say, strengthen the marriage, PROVIDING the cheater is willing to go through the processes too. If they are not, she gives you tell-tale signs to help you realise that they are not worth the effort of 'forgiving' and should be dumped for your own good! Thankyou Shirley for writing this book and I'm so glad I found it.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Extremely helpful for both!
I have also never reviewed a book but this one has been a life saver for us!
I have to admit that it does hurt reading it at times because one gains a better understanding of... Read more
I have to admit that it does hurt reading it at times because one gains a better understanding of... Read more
Published 7 months ago by JP
Excellent
I bought this book one week after I found out about my husbands affair and I stayed up all night and day reading this book it was so insightful with lots of different scenarios. Read more
Published 14 months ago by MJM
best book for the worst situation
A book that is easy to dip and and out of, although I read it cover to cover.
Opens up windows into the how and why rather than just what has happened. Read more
Opens up windows into the how and why rather than just what has happened. Read more
Published 14 months ago by vole
Helpful but not a quick fix
This book helped me get some perspective on what had happened in our marriage but it was not the miracle fix I had secretly hoped for. Read more
Published 16 months ago by rachroo
Worth a try!
I book this book after my husband admitted to seeing another woman he had met through work. The first few chapters described exactly how each partner would be feeling after a... Read more
Published 20 months ago by Jan
A great help in a time of need
I found this book a great help and I gained so much comfort just by finding out that what I was going through and all the feelings I was experienceing were quite normal and I can't... Read more
Published 22 months ago by Moggie1502
Good but only at the right time
I bought this book about a month after I found out about my wifes affair. In honesty it was about 4 weeks too late. Read more
Published on 15 April 2010 by Mr. S. D. Pickering
this book will save your life
This is the first book I have ever reviewed; I feel so moved to stress how important this book is if you find yourself in the dreadful aftermath of adultery. Read more
Published on 1 Feb 2010 by nk
Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After...
I bought this book after carefull consideration, ashamedly I'm the 'cheater' in my relationship & I was trying to make sense out of why I do what I do, for those involved in... Read more
Published on 17 Jan 2010 by Mrs. H. Singleton
Very biased
This book is definitely written for the injured partner, and in my opinion, to help him/her feel better about themselves. Read more
Published on 14 Oct 2009 by Cheshire cat
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